Let's Suggest /39

Let's Suggest /39
Message de here4u posté le 28-05-2023 à 11:08:00 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!

Another new topic for you to write about. I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever...
I'm well aware that, at present, this will be a challenge to long weekends and multiple days off!

You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct!

Here is today's topic:
"Time-traveling is said to be one of the oldest human dreams. If you could travel in time, what period would you choose?" 140 to 160 words".

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Le plus tôt possible, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)

IMPORTANT ! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrai(en)t être modifié(s), s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail... et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide !
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet


( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez : ou ou **
Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le lundi 12 juin 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 28-05-2023 à 17:50:17 (S | E)
Hello dears,

WOW! That was hyper fast!

EXPRESSION N°1: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...

Of course, like many people, I would like to be able to travel in time; but I can't decide whether I'd rather go back in time or forward into the future.
Going back in time, would certainly allow me to reconnect with some very dear persons who I miss very much, and also perhaps to avoid making the same mistakes and may be to save them. But we all know that life is not eternal!
A leap into the future will enable me to meet myself and my loved-ones older in time, and do things differently to help them to fulfil their potential. But can we change our destiny?
Even though it may be difficult, the time we live in is beautiful ,and finally, I prefer to stay in it and apply Ronsard's advice ; "Pick from today the roses of life"; or Carpe diem in Latin. 147 words

I never read your productions before they are published... I hope you'll have indications of mistakes, or at least suggestions of improvements to get your teeth into...

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 30-05-2023 à 23:52:19 (S | E)
Hello!

Green allowed!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 31-05-2023 à 07:27:50 (S | E)
hello j ai contrôlé tout ce qui me paraissait faux , mais tout était bon ; Désolée je n ai pas envie cette fois-ci de chercher pendant 3h pour rien.
Pour moi , il est très bon ce texte à bientôt.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 01-06-2023 à 10:44:41 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Magie, tu m'as fait rire! Il y avait une ou deux petites choses que l'on verra ensemble !

EXPRESSION N°2: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...

If I could travel in time, personally I would like to live in the time of Adam and Eve before the original sin: No violence,
no bill to pay, but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother.
In fact, when you study History there is no perfect period: there are always wars, poor peasants exploited by the lords,
famines, epidemics; even at the court of kings there was conspiracy and jealousy.
I think the best period to live through was between 1962 and 1980 in France. The Algerian war was over, oil was flowing in abundance. Women were beginning to be able to decide whether or not to have a child and were gaining more independence.
Young people found work easily; the unemployment rate was not too high.
There was less pollution, and nobody needed of the internet.
However,I am not unhappy in my 21st century, I might as well stay there. 160 mots

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 02-06-2023 à 06:31:45 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°2: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...

If I could travel in time, personally I would like to live in the time of Adam and Eve before the original sin: No violence,
no bill to pay, but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother.
In fact, when you study History there is no perfect period: there are always wars, poor peasants exploited by the lords,
famines, epidemics; even at the court of kings there was conspiracy and jealousy.
I think the best period to live through was between 1962 and 1980 in France. The Algerian war was over, oil was flowing in abundance. Women were beginning to be able to decide whether or not to have a child and were(gaining more independence .
Young people found work easily;(xx the unemployment rate was not too high.
There was less pollution, and nobody needed ( of the internet.
However,I am not unhappy in my 21st century, I might as well stay there. 160 mots

Je ne vois pas grand chose à corriger dans ce texte!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 02-06-2023 à 10:38:11 (S | E)
Hello! mon essai de correction avec l' aide des indications d Amalia MERCI
EXPRESSION N°2:

If I could travel in time, personally I would like to live in the time of Adam and Eve before the original sin: No violence, no bill to pay, but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother.
In fact, when you study History there is no perfect period: there are always wars, poor peasants exploited by the lords,famines, epidemics; even at the court of kings there was conspiracy and jealousy.
I think the best period to live through was between 1962 and 1980 in France. The Algerian war was over, oil was flowing in abundance. Women were beginning to be able to decide whether or not to have a child and ( obtain more independence .
Young people found work easily,(because the unemployment rate was not too high.
There was less pollution, and nobody needed ( for internet.
However, I am not unhappy in my 21st century, I might as well stay there. 160 mot

Je n' ai pas respecte le delai , mais si je ne fais pas la correction quand je peux , apres c' est trop tard
Cela n' empechera pas d' autres personnes de donner leurs suggestions. Ce n est pas certain que ma correction soit bonne , on peut toujours ameliorer ❤️

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 03-06-2023 à 07:29:51 (S | E)
hELLO!
EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions

If I could travel in time, personally I would like to live in the time of Adam and Eve before the original sin: No violence, no bill to pay, but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother.
In fact, when you study History there is no perfect period: there are always wars, poor peasants exploited by the lords,famines, epidemics; even at the court of kings there was conspiracy and jealousy.
I think the best period to live through was between 1962 and 1980 in France. The Algerian war was over, oil was flowing in abundance. Women were beginning to be able to decide whether or not to have a child and ( gaining in independence .
Young people found work easily,( and the unemployment rate was not too high.
There was less pollution, and nobody needed ( the internet .
However, I am not unhappy in my 21st century, I might as well stay there. 160 mot

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 03-06-2023 à 17:09:08 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Here is EXPRESSION N°3: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...

I wouldn’t had liked to live in middle ages because they were quite a barbarious time were people killed other people quite easily. There was no eguality in life and no real respect for other people’s life.
Before the industrial revolution, the people looked quite happy. They lived simply and satisfied them of simple things. They cultivated the earth, ate vegetables which they produced and little meat by the hens and pigs they grew. There was no radios, no TV, but a lot gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long and children knew the essential. In the country, people didn’t dream to travels and huge cities which they had hardly never heard, they were happy of that they had: a little house with no water and electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, the woods, the forests… the nature for them !
But the first war world was coming… 155

Green will be allowed on Tuesday, 6th . a lot for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 04-06-2023 à 06:02:52 (S | E)
Hello dears!

EXPRESSION N°3: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...

I wouldn’t'(had liked to live in middle ages because ( they were quite a barbarious time (were people killed other people quite easily. There was no (eguality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( life.
Before the industrial revolution, ( the people looked quite happy. They lived simply and ( satisfied them of simple things . They cultivated the earth, ate vegetables which they produced and (little meat by the hens and pigs they grew . There was no ' radios, no TV, but a lot gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long and children knew the essential. In the country, people didn’t dream to ( travels and huge cities which they had hardly never heard, they were happy ( of that they had: a little house with no water (and electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, (the woods,( the forests… ( the nature for them !
But the first war world was coming… 155

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 05-06-2023 à 11:36:19 (S | E)
hello/ Voici ce que j'ai trouvé qui pourrait être amélioré, bien que je ne sois même pas capable de corriger mon propre texte correctement. Mais c' est en me lançant que je prends de l' assurance 😇

I wouldn’t'(had liked to live in middle ages because ( they were quite a barbarious time (were people killed other people quite easily. There was no (eguality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( life.
Before the industrial revolution, ( the people looked quite happy. They lived simply and ( satisfied them of simple things . They cultivated the earth, ate vegetables which they produced and and pigs(little meat by the hens they grew . There was no ' radios, no TV, but a lot gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long and children knew the essential. In the country, people didn’t dream to ( travels and huge cities which they had hardly never heard, they were happy ( of that they had: a little house with no water (and electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, (the woods,( the forests… ( the nature for them !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 05-06-2023 13:55
Balises inutiles effacées ...

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 05-06-2023 à 11:43:04 (S | E)
Hello!

Bravo Magie! C'est la bonne méthode ! Il est toujours plus facile de trouver les fautes des copains que les siennes... mes élèves me l'ont répété maintes et maintes fois...

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 06-06-2023 à 07:56:02 (S | E)
Hello dears!

EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions...

I wouldn’t'( have liked to live in Middle Ages because ( it was quite a barbarious time ( where people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives.
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were
satisfied with simple things . They cultivated the( land, ate vegetables which they produced and ( the little meat they got from the hens and pigs they kept . There was no '( radio , no TV, but a lot gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long and children knew the essential. In the country, people didn’t dream (of travels and huge cities which they had hardly never heard, they were happy ( with what they had: a little house with no water ( or electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, ( woods,( forests( nature for them !
But the first war world was coming… 155

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 06-06-2023 à 15:04:05 (S | E)
EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions...

I wouldn’t'( have liked to live in Middle Ages because ( it was quite a (barbarism time ( where people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives.
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were satisfied with simple things. They (worked the earth they( ate vegetables from their production and (they had some meat breeding hens and pigs. There was no '( radio, no TV, but a lot gossip. I think it was a happy time. (Children went a short time at school but they learnt the essential things . In the country, people didn’t dream( of travels either huge cities that they had hardly never heard, they were happy ( with what they had: a little house ( without water ( or electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, ( They took advantage of woods,( forests( nature was to them !
But the first war world was coming… 155

Dans l ensemble , ce n 'était pas des grosses fautes, juste un peu a remanier pour que ce soit bien clair. ma façon de dire les choses n est pas forcément mieux ce ne sont que mes suggestions personnelles? Ce texte3 contient des bonnes idées. C est un bon travail

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 06-06-2023 à 23:04:38 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Wonderful!

Just a little help concerning EXPRESSION N°3:

EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions N°1...

I wouldn’t' have liked to live in XXX Middle Ages because it was quite a barbarious time where people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives.
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were satisfied with simple things . They cultivated the( land, ate vegetables which they produced and ( the little meat they got * from the hens and pigs they kept . There was no ( radio , no TV, but a lot gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long and children knew the essential. In the country, people didn’t dream (of travels and huge cities which they had hardly never heard, they were happy (with what they had: a little house with no water ( or electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, ( woods,( forests( nature for them !
But the first war world was coming… 155 OK! Quite a good EXPRESSION and good suggestions!

* Could you explain the construction, please?

EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions N°2...

I wouldn’t'( have liked to live in XXX Middle Ages because ( it was quite a (barbarism time ( where people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives.
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were satisfied with simple things. They (worked the earth they( ate vegetables from their production and (they had some meat breeding hens and pigs. There was no (radio, no TV, but a lot gossip. I think it was a happy time. (Children went a short time at school but they learnt the essential things . In the country, people didn’t dream(of travels either huge cities that they had hardly never heard, they were happy ( with what they had: a little house (without water (or electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, ( They took advantage of woods,( forests( nature was to them !
But the first war world was coming… 155 Bravo! De bonnes suggestions!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 07-06-2023 à 07:34:11 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions N°3...

I wouldn’t' have liked to live in ( the XXX Middle Ages because it was quite a( barbaric time when people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives.
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were satisfied with simple things . They cultivated the( land, ate vegetables which they produced and ( the little meat they got * from the hens and pigs they( raised . There was no ( radio , no TV, but a lot of gossip. I think it was a happy time.( Children did not study further but knew the basics . In the country, people didn’t dream (of travels and huge cities which they had hardly( ever heard, they were happy (with what they had: a little house with no water ( or electricity.( However there was no pollution, and they could enjoy fresh air, space and nature !
But the first war world was coming… 155 OK! Quite a good EXPRESSION and good suggestions!

* Could you explain the construction, please? J'ai employé" From " pour indiquer la provenance de la viande qu'ils mangeaient

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 07-06-2023 à 09:42:31 (S | E)
Hello Amalia!

L'explication que je voudrais c'est au sujet de : «the little meat they got» …. ( dans un but pédagogique, bien sûr… ce n’est pas un piège ! )

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 07-06-2023 à 12:14:26 (S | E)
hello!
the little meat they got: "le peu de viande qu'ils avaient" .Meat est une quantité indénombrable donc j'emploie little; s'ii s'agissait d'une quantité dénombrables (que l'on peut compter) il faudrait employer few.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 09-06-2023 à 09:27:23 (S | E)
Hello dears,

L'EXPRESSION N°4 est passée inaperçue (postée le 6 - en bleu jusque demain matin 10/06 et vert ensuite, )...

EXPRESSION N°4: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...

I think I would like to live in the Renaissance, in Italia. I love arts overall painting and would liked to see Michel Ange painting the ceiling of the Sixteen Chapel. I love this period, because it was as a revolution and litterally a rebirth. The things had changed, but I suppose they changed for the rich people, not for the poor that had no education and no culture. The people was just out of the obcurantism and ignorance of the preceding centurys.
If you had the chance to be rich and live in the Court of a king or important people, you could see women wearing beautiful dresses, dance at balls with violons and pianos and trying to draw the Signor’s attention, hopping to be his future Princesse ! Of course, I would know latin and italian and would know to curtsy before I receive the other people’s curtsys… That is great ! 155 words

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 09-06-2023 à 11:29:16 (S | E)
L'EXPRESSION N°4

I think I would like to live in the Renaissance, in Italia. I love arts overall painting and would( liked to see ( Michel Ange painting the ceiling of the (Sixteen Chapel. I love this period, because it was as a revolution and (litterally a rebirth. The things had changed, but I suppose they changed for the rich people, not for the poor( that had no education and no culture. The people (was just out of the (obcurantism and ignorance of the preceding( centurys .
(If you had the chance to be rich and live in the Court of a ( kingr or important people, you could see women wearing beautiful dresses, ( dance at balls with ( violons and pianos and trying to(draw the Signor’s attention,( hopping to be his future ( princesse ! Of course, I would know( latin and italian and would (know to curtsy before I( receive the other people’s ( curtsys… That is great ! 155 words

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 09-06-2023 à 12:00:00 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°4: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy...

I think I would like to live in the Renaissance, in ( Italia. I love arts( overall painting and would( liked to see ( Michel Ange painting the ceiling of the Sixteen Chapel. I love this period, because it was as a revolution and litterally a rebirth. The things had changed, but I suppose they changed for the rich people, not for the poor( that had no education and no culture. The people (was just( xx out of the obcurantism and ignorance of the preceding( centurys .
(If you had the chance to be rich and live in the Court of a king or important people, you could see women wearing beautiful dresses, ( dance at balls with ( violons and pianos and trying to(draw the Signor’s attention,( hopping to be his future ( princesse ! Of course, I would know( latin and italian and would (know to curtsy before I( receive the other people’s ( curtsys… That is great ! 155 words

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 10-06-2023 à 09:49:05 (S | E)
my suggestions HELLO
EXPRession4
I think I would like to live in the Renaissance, in( Italy. I love arts overall painting and would (like[ to see (Michelangelo painting the ceiling of the (]Sistine Chapel. I love this period, because it was as a revolution and (literally a rebirth. The things had changed, but I suppose they changed for the rich people, not for the poor ( WHO[ remained uneducated and without culture. The people who have just been out of the( obscurantism and ignorance of the preceding ([centuries[
If you ( had got the ( good luck to be rich and live in the (King's Court or ( be an important person , you could see women wearing beautiful dresses, ( ]dancing at balls with (violon and pianos and trying to draw the Signor’s attention (to themselves , (hoping to be his future Princess ! Of course, I would (speak( Latin and Italian and would know to curtsy before ( receiving the curtsies of others. … That ( would be great ! 155 words

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de amalia80, postée le 10-06-2023 à 11:17:44 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°4: suggestions..

I think I would like to live in the Renaissance, in ( Italy. I love arts( and painting in particlar and would( like to see (Michelangelo painting the ceiling of the( Sistine chapel . I love this period, because it was as a revolution and litterally a rebirth. The things had changed, but I suppose they changed for the rich people, not for the poor( who had no education and no culture. The people were just( made out of the obcurantism and ignorance of the preceding( centuries .
(If you were lucky enough to be rich and live in the Court of a king or important people, you could see women wearing beautiful dresses, ( dancing at balls with ( violins and pianos and trying to( attract the Signor’s attention,( hoping to be his future ( princess ! Of course, I would know( Latin and Italian and would know( howto curtsy before I( received the other people’s ( curtsies… That(would be great ! 155 words

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 12-06-2023 à 23:47:53 (S | E)
Hello dears,

First, you have worked a lot and very well. Congratulations!
The first two EXPRESSIONS were so good that you hardly had any mistakes to indicate! [ Please, notice this construction and think about it when you're stuck correcting EXPRESSION N°3 ! ]
Lien internet




EXPRESSION N°1: no indications and no suggestions=> here are mine.

Of course, like many people, I would like to be able to travel in time; but I can't decide whether I'd rather go (back in time (éviter les répétitions trop nombreuses) or forward into the future.
Going back in time, would certainly allow me to reconnect with some very dear (persons who I miss very much, and also perhaps to avoid making the same mistakes (là, je couperais… L’idée suivante est différente et la phrase est déjà longue !)and (may be to save them (not clear! Do you mean that you’ve killed people?) But we all know that life is not eternal!
A leap into the future B will/ (would enable me to meet myself and my loved-ones (older in time (mal dit., and do things differently to help them to fulfil their potential. (But? Yet, I wonder if…) can we change our destiny?
Even though it may be difficult, the time we live in is beautiful ,and finally, I prefer to stay in it and apply Ronsard's advice ; "Pick from today the roses of life"; or Carpe diem in Latin. 147 words

«Seize the day!» in English. TB EXPRESSION ! Pas de « fautes », mais quelques maladresses S’il fallait faire une remarque, je dirais : (répétitions et un peu, choix de « la facilité »[« but » et «so» en début de phrases sont à éviter…]) Très bon travail cependant…
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°2: my initial reactions and indications:

If I could travel in time, personally I would like to live in the time of Adam and Eve before the original sin: (No violence, no (bill to pay, but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother.(Aurait pu être mieux articulé ! )
In fact, when you study History there is no perfect period: there are always wars, poor peasants exploited by (the lords, famines, epidemics; even at the court of kings there was conspiracy and jealousy.
I think the best period to live through was between 1962 and 1980 in France. The Algerian war was over, oil was flowing in abundance. Women were beginning to be able to decide whether or not to have (a child and were gaining more independence. Young people found work easily; the unemployment rate was not too high.
There was less pollution, and nobody needed (of the internet.
However,I am not unhappy in my 21st century, I might as well stay there. 160 mots TB expression ! Bravo.

EXPRESSION N°2: Suggestions :

If I could travel in time, personally I would like to live in the time of Adam and Eve before the original sin: No violence, no (bill to pay, but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother.
In fact, when you study History there is no perfect period: there are always wars, poor peasants exploited by (the lords,famines, epidemics; even at the court of kings there was conspiracy and jealousy.
I think the best period to live through was between 1962 and 1980 in France. The Algerian war was over, oil was flowing in abundance. Women were beginning to be able to decide whether or not to have (a child (en général) and ( gaining in independence .
Young people found work easily,( and the unemployment rate was not too high.
There was less pollution, and nobody needed ( the internet .B
However, I am not unhappy in my 21st century, I might as well stay there. 160 mots Bonnes suggestions.
J’ai l’impression que tu pourrais améliorer :« , but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother. » Je ressens un raccourci qui obscurcit ton propos.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°3:initial text and my indications...

I wouldn’t (had liked to live in xxx (middle (ages because (they were quite a barbarious time were people killed other people quite easily. There was no (eguality in life and no real respect for other people’s (life.
Before the industrial revolution, the people looked quite happy. They lived simply and satisfied (them (of simple things. They cultivated the (earth, ate XXX vegetables which they produced and ( little meat (by the hens and pigs they (grew. There (was no radios, no TV, but a lot xx gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long and children (knew the essential. In the country, people didn’t dream (to travels and huge cities which they had hardly (never heard,GRRRRRR ! they were happy (of that they had: a little house with no water and electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, the woods, the forests… (the nature for them !
But the first (war world was coming… 155
De bonnes idées.

EXPRESSION N°3: Indications N°1:

I wouldn’t'(had liked to live in xxx (middle (ages because ( they were quite a (barbarious time (were people killed other people quite easily. There was no (eguality in life and no real respect for other people’s (life.
Before the industrial revolution, (the(? se discute !) people looked quite happy. They lived simply and ( satisfied them of simple things . They cultivated the earth, ate xxx vegetables which they produced and (little meat by the hens and pigs they grew . There was no ' radios, no TV, but a lot XX gossip. I think it was a happy time. (School was not long(Pas clair !) and children knew the essential(Je crois que je comprends … ou plutôt, je devine !). In the country, people didn’t dream ( to ( travels and huge cities which they (had hardly never heard GRRRR !!! , they were happy ( of that they had: a little house with no water (and electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, (the woods,( the forests… ( the nature for them !
But the first (war world was coming… 155

De bonnes indications, mais il reste encore des fautes (graves) non identifiées…

EXPRESSION N°3: indications N°2:

I wouldn’t'(had liked to live in xxx (middle (ages because ( they were quite a (barbarious time (were people killed other people quite easily. There was no (eguality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( life.
Before the industrial revolution, (the people looked quite happy. They lived simply and ( satisfied them of simple things . They cultivated the earth, ate xxx vegetables which they produced and (little meat by the hens and pigs they grew . There (was no ' radios, no TV, but a lot xx gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long and children knew the essential( ???). In the country, people didn’t dream (to ( travels and huge cities which they (had hardly never heard,GRRrrrrrr they were happy ( of that they had: a little house with no water (and electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, (the woods,( the forests… ( the nature for them !
OK !Good ! De bonnes indications aussi, mais il reste les mêmes erreurs !

EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions N°1...

I wouldn’t'( have liked TB to live in XXX Middle Ages B because ( it was quite a (barbarious time ( where ??? people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives. TB
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were satisfied with simple things . They cultivated the( land, TB ate XXX vegetables which they produced and ( the little meat they got from the hens and pigs they (kept. TTB There (was no '( radio , no TV, but a lot xx gossip. I think it was a happy time. School was not long ??? ne me semble pas clair ! and children knew the essential ? Là non plus ! . In the country, people didn’t dream (of travels and huge cities which they( had hardly never heard,GRRRrrrr they were happy ( with what they had: a little house with no water ( or electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, ( woods,( forests( nature for them ! TB
But the first (war world was coming… 155
De bonnes suggestions. Bravo.

EXPRESSION N°3: suggestions N°2...

I wouldn’t'( have liked to live in xxx Middle AgesTB because ( it was quite a ((barbarismNON ! time ( where ??? people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives.TB
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were satisfied with simple things. They (worked the earth they( ate XXX vegetables from their production and (they had some meat(, breeding hens and pigs. There (was no '( radio, no TV, but a lot xx gossip. I think it was a happy time. (Children went a short time at school(l’idée est bonne, mais la construction est fausse !) but they learnt the essential things OK . In the country, people didn’t dream( of travels (either huge cities that (they had hardly never heard GRRRrrr, they were happy ( with what they had: a little house ( without water ( or electricity, but no pollution, fresh air and space, ( They took advantage of woods,( forests( nature (was to ??) them !
But the first (war world was coming… 155
De bonnes suggestions. Bravo.
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EXPRESSION N°4 initial indications:

I think I (would like le temps est faux ! )to live in the Renaissance, in (Italia. I love arts (overall painting and (would liked to see (Michel Ange painting the ceiling of the (Sixteen Chapel. I love this period, because it was (as a revolution and (litterally a rebirth. (The things had changed, but I suppose they changed for (the rich people, not for the poor that had no education and no culture. B The people (was just out of the obcurantism and ignorance of the preceeding (Centurys.
If you (had the chance to be rich and live in the Court of a king or XX important people, you could see (women wearing beautiful dresses, dance at balls with (violons and pianos and trying to draw the Signor’s attention, (hopping to be his future Princess(e! Of course, I would know (latin and italian and would (kow XXX to curtsy before I receive (the other people’s (curtsys… That (is conditionnel nécessaire)great ! 155 Bonnes indications

EXPRESSION N°4:

I think I (would like to live in the Renaissance, in ( Italia. I love arts( overall painting and would( liked to see ( Michel Ange painting the ceiling of the Sixteen Chapel. I love this period, because it was as a revolution and litterally a rebirth. The things had changed, but I suppose they xxx changed for the rich people, not for the poor( that had no education and no culture. The people (was just( xx out of the obcurantism and ignorance of the preceding( centurys.
(If you had the chance to be rich and live (in the Court of a king or xx important people, you could see (women wearing beautiful dresses, ( dance at balls with ( violons and pianos and trying to(draw the Signor’s attention,( hopping to be his future ( princesse! Of course, I would know( latin and italian and would (know to curtsy before I( receive (the other people’s (curtsys… That is great ! 155 words
De très bonnes indications. Bravo !

EXPRESSION N°4: suggestions N°1:

I think I (would like to live in the Renaissance, in( Italy. I love arts (overall painting and would (XXXX like to see (Michelangelo painting the ceiling of the (Sistine Chapel. I love this period, because it was (as a revolution and (literally B a rebirth. (The things had changed, but I suppose they xxx changed for (the rich people, not for the poor ( WHO remained uneducated and without cultureB. (The: en général !) people (who have just been out of the (obscurantism and ignorance of the preceding (centuries.B
If you (had got the(pas la bonne construction) ( good luck to be rich and live (in the (King's Court or (be an important person , you could see (women wearing beautiful dresses, ( dancing at balls with (violon and pianos and trying to draw the Signor’s attention ??(to themselves ??, (hoping B to be his future Princess! Of course, I would (speak( Latin and Italian and would know XXX to curtsy before (receiving the curtsies of others. … That (would be great ! 155 words
Bien ! De bonnes corrections ! Bravo !

EXPRESSION N°4: suggestions N°2..

I think I( would like to live in the Renaissance, in (Italy. I love arts( and painting in (particlar and would( XXX like x to see (Michelangelo painting the ceiling of the( Sistine chapel B . I love this period, because it was (as a revolution and (litterally a rebirth. (The things had changed, but I suppose they xxx changed for (the rich people, not for the poor( who had no education and no culture.B The people were just( (made out of the obcurantism and ignorance of the preceding( centuries .B
(If you were lucky enoughTTB to be rich and live( in the Court of a king or xx important people, you could see (women wearing beautiful dresses, ( dancing at balls with ( violins and pianos and trying to( attract the Signor’s attention,( hoping to be his future ( princess ! Of course, I would know( Latin and Italian and would know( how to curtsy before I (received TB (the other people’s (curtsies… That (would be great! 155 words
Très Bonnes suggestions et corrections ! Bravo !

- « I think I (would like le temps est faux ! )to live in the Renaissance, » Il n’est pas possible de vivre pendant la Renaissance... Ceci est du domaine de l’imagination … A montrer par le temps !
- Italy / Italian/ Latin/ To live at court/ at the court of …
- Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel
- Littéralement : literally (un seul T)
- Les choses avaient changé (en général !)
- The poor and the rich mais (sauf s’ils sont déterminés) rich people and poor people
- The people (was just out of the (obcurantism ? and ignorance of the preceding( centurys .
- Women … ne convient pas ici .
- To hope: espérer mais to hop=> hopping sautillant.
- Je sais nager : I can swim/ I know how to swim


J'espère avoir pu vous "guider" un peu vers les bonnes solutions...
Comme toujours, vous pouvez refaire les phrases, passages (etc) dans lesquels vous vous sentez en difficulté (ou moins à l'aise).
Encore et pour tout ce bon travail !

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 13-06-2023 à 01:58:47 (S | E)
follow up est- ce que c' est mieux MAINTENANT ?


EXPRESSION N°4:

I think I( would have liked to live in the Renaissance, in (Italy. I love arts( and painting in (particular and would( have liked to see (Michelangelo painting the ceiling of the( Sistine chapel B . I love this period, because it was (as a revolution and (literally a rebirth. (The things had changed, but I suppose they had changed for (rich people, not for poor( who had no education and no culture.B People were just( (made out of the obscurantism and ignorance of the preceding( centuries .B
(If you were lucky enough to be rich and live( at the Court of a king or an important people, you could see (women wearing beautiful dresses, ( dancing at balls with ( violins and pianos and trying to( attract the Signor’s attention,( hoping to be his future ( princess ! Of course, I would know( Latin and Italian and would know( how to curtsy before I (received TB (the other people’s (curtsies… That (would be great! 155 words

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 13-06-2023 à 05:40:04 (S | E)
expression no 3 follow up

I wouldn’t( have liked to live in the Middle Ages, because ( it was quite a (barbarous time ( when some people killed other people quite easily. There was no ( equality in life and no real respect for other people’s ( lives.
Before the industrial revolution, ( people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and ( were satisfied with simple things . They cultivated the( land, ate some vegetables which they produced and ( the little meat they got from the hens and pigs they (bred up. There (was no '( radio , no TV, but a lot of gossip. I think it was a happy time. Children went at school a short time, but I hope they knew the basics.
In the country, people didn’t dream (of travels and huge cities which they( had hardly ever heard of , they were happy ( with what they had: a little house with no water ( or electricity, there was not any pollution, but much fresh air and space, ( woods,( forests( nature for them !

Je ne suis pas vraiment certaine que tout soit parfait ? j' espere que cette fois- ci c' est bon

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 13-06-2023 à 06:36:34 (S | E)
expression2 follow up

tu pourrais améliorer :« , but there were only 2 people; When they had 2 children, one was killed by his brother. » Je ressens un raccourci qui obscurcit ton propos.

IS IT better? like that:
Then they had 2 children. AS soon as they have been four adults, the fight started. A son killed his brother. thank you very much

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 13-06-2023 à 10:08:55 (S | E)
Hello!
Great work, magie! (I'll look into it in more details in the afternoon...)

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de here4u, postée le 16-06-2023 à 09:15:53 (S | E)
Hello dear Magie,

I couldn't come back to your work before and I'm sincerely sorry!


EXPRESSION N°4:Follow up Work

I think I would have liked to live in the Renaissance, in Italy. I love arts and painting in particular and would have liked to see Michelangelo painting the ceiling of the Sistine chapel B. I love this period, because it was (as a revolution and literally a rebirth. (The things had changed, but I suppose they had changed for rich people, not for the poor who had no education and no culture. People had just come out of the obscurantism and ignorance of the preceding centuries.B
If you were lucky enough to be rich and live (at the Court of a king or an important people, you could see (women wearing beautiful dresses, dancing at balls with (violins and pianos and trying to( attract the Signor’s attention,( hoping to be his future princess ! Of course, I would know Latin and Italian and would know how to curtsy before I (received TB (the other people’s (curtsies… That (would be great! 155 words De très bonnes corrections.


EXPRESSION N° 3 follow up

I wouldn’t have liked to live in the Middle Ages, because it was quite a barbarous time ( when some people killed other people quite easily. Equality in life and real respect for other people’s lives didn't exist.
Before the industrial revolution, people seemed quite happy. They lived simply and were satisfied with simple things . They cultivated the land, ate some vegetables which they produced and the little meat they got from the hens and pigs they raised. Radio, and TV did not exist, but there was a lot of gossip. I think it was a happy time. Children went at school xxx a short time only, but they knew the basics.
In the country, people didn’t dream of travels and huge cities which/ that they had hardly ever heard of, they were happy/ satisfied with what they had: a little house with no water or electricity, there was no pollution, but much fresh air and space, woods, forests, nature for them!

D'excellentes suggestions! Encore quelques erreurs...

EXPRESSION N°2: follow up

Is it better like that:
Then they had 2 children. (AS soon as they have been four adults,) Paradise was lost and... the fight started. One of the sons killed his brother.

Je reviendrai voir si vous avez des suggestions pour les éléments indiqués en bleu! Merci de ce bon travail !

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 16-06-2023 à 10:46:13 (S | E)
Hello Merci beaucoup dear here 4U ne sois pas desolee , je travaille sur autre chose en attendant A BIENTOT

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Réponse : Let's Suggest /39 de magie8, postée le 17-06-2023 à 09:21:25 (S | E)
hello dernière correction

EXPRESSION N°4:Follow up Work

I think I would have liked to live in the Renaissance, in Italy. I love arts and painting in particular and would have liked to see Michelangelo painting the ceiling of the Sistine chapel B. I love this period, because it was (like a revolution and literally a rebirth. () Things had changed, but I suppose they had changed for rich people, not for the poor who had no education and no culture. People had just made out of the obscurantism and ignorance of the preceding centuries.B
If you were lucky enough to be rich and live (at the Court of a king or an important (person, you could see (Ladies wearing beautiful dresses,(to dance at( the ballroom with (violins and pianos and trying to( attract the Signor’s attention,( hoping to be his future princess ! Of course, I would know Latin and Italian and would know how to curtsy before I (received TB (( ) other people’s (curtsies… That (would be great! 155 words De très bonnes corrections.

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