Expression/aide

Expression/aide
Message de adam216 posté le 03-08-2016 à 14:29:01 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait corriger mon expression écrite s'il vous plait?
Donc la consigne est la suivante: tu es anglais et tu as fait un voyage en Irlande. Écris une lettre à tes parents de 100 à 120 mots en décrivant ton lieu d'habitation les activités que tu as faites et ce qui t'est arrivé ces derniers jours.
Merci d'avance à ceux qui vont m'aider.

Hello, how are you? Irelande is a beautiful countrie.Moreover, I have a sweet house. Here I am happy. My husband is very funny, he help me every Monday for my work! In my house, I am a Big kitchen,two bedrooms,one bathroom and a atractive sitting room. Everyday, I play football with Angelica, my new girlfriend. She is cute. Now I am learning at playing Basket Ball. This it a good sport. 2 days ago, I becomed a footbalplayer in a big team, wich??? The Real Madrid!!!! Therefore what I am very happy. It's dream?
Goodbye

Je veux vraiment remercier ceux qui auront la gentillesse de m'aider.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-08-2016 14:46
Certaines considérations inutiles ont été effacées.

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Réponse : Expression/aide de sherry48, postée le 04-08-2016 à 00:03:16 (S | E)
Hello.
Here are the most important errors...
Hello, how are you? Irelande is a beautiful countrie. Moreover, I have a sweet house. Here I am happy. My husband is very funny, he help me every Monday for my work! In my house, I am a Big kitchen, two bedrooms, one bathroom and a atractive sitting room. Everyday, I play football with Angelica, my new girlfriend. She is cute. Now I am learning at playing BasketBall. This it a good sport. 2 days ago, I becomed a footbalplayer in a big team, wich??? The Real Madrid!!!! Therefore what I am very happy. It's _ dream?
Goodbye
Bon courage!
Sherry

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Réponse : Expression/aide de adam216, postée le 04-08-2016 à 12:18:24 (S | E)
Bonjour
j'ai repéré toutes mes erreurs je te remercie; merci bcp beaucoup.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-08-2016 13:52

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Réponse : Expression/aide de adam216, postée le 04-08-2016 à 18:25:19 (S | E)
Suite à la demande de Lucile je mets ma correction finale; j'ai changé pas mal de choses:

Hey, how are you? As you know I'm currently in Ireland and it's such a beautiful country. I'm so happy : I found a sweet house and my neighbour is funny and quite helpful as well (he helps me every monday for my work!). The house itself has a big kitchen, 2 bedrooms and an attractive sitting room.
Every day I play football with Angelica, my new girlfriend, she's so cute. Anyway, I really love this sport and I decided to become a football player. A big team here even asked me for a try out, try to guess which one? The Real Madrid ! I'm so happy and I hope I will succeed.
I miss you and I can't wait to show you all the pictures I took.
See you soon

Merci au correcteur, à Lucile et à tous ceux qui contribuent au bon fonctionnement du site.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-08-2016 20:25

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Réponse : Expression/aide de gerondif, postée le 04-08-2016 à 19:15:18 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, conseils en vert.

Hey, how are you? As you know I'm currently in Ireland and it's such a beautiful country. I'm so happy : I found a sweet (signifie gentil, pour moi, c'est un peu étonnant pour une maison mais ça passe) house and my neighbour is funny and quite helpful as well (he helps me for(with) every monday(majuscule) my work!). The house itself has a big kitchen, 2 bedrooms and an attractive sitting-room.
Every day I play football with Angelica, my new girlfriend, she's so cute. Anyway, I really love this sport and I decided to become a football player. A big team here even asked me for a try out, try to guess which one? The Real Madrid ! I'm so happy and I hope I will succeed.
I miss you and I can't wait to show you all the pictures I took.
See you soon

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