Rapport/ BTS MMV
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Message de hydrenoir posté le 22-06-2016 à 11:09:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis actuellement en deuxième année de BTS. J'ai effectué mon stage l'année dernière et je dois écrire deux pages en anglais, que j'ai finies! Cependant j'aurais aimé me faire corriger, si des personnesqui pouvaient m'aider ce serai top .
Voici le texte en anglais:
Introduction
At first, I did my internship with xxx S.A in xxx during six weeks, from May 17th till June 24th, 2016. I have a school friend with me, xxx. Dxx is a factory wich works with the amputees. This factory made herself her knit. The product of this compagny are : ( je cite les produits de l'entreprise) (The product’s description in French is available on the page 8 – 9) My training course called X Corinne, she is the person in charge the product and vapeur however the executive directo is Mrs X X The compagny The Company employs nineteen staff; among them one are part-time employed. Every year, the company recruits a certain number of trainees to help students to acquire a larger professionnal experience, but also to take advantage of new talents and to keep a close contact with the educational community. It is necessary to know also that the company exports all over the world except in Asia because are their main competitor.
Activities
As an intern, I learned how to : - Use new machines as the N64, the saw blade, ect - Learn of piece of news assembly techniques - Calculate rates of efficiency We worked in groups of 2, and my tutor helped me when I had no idea of the way it was necessary to realize certain missions. Of course, in the first week, I was given a tour of the facility to know my way around and understand the activities and strategies of the company. My internship mainly consisted in - Realize of the beginning to the end of the interfaces for corsets. - To understand the job by person in charge of workshop. - Learn new techniques. - And to realize at least a case study. Moreover, I have chooses to realize two case studies : 1. Create a catalog of sample resuming all the materials and their possible finishes in this company. 2. Create a "Following Index card" to leave a track of the operators who work on the package of product.
Personnal Impression
I found this experience useful because - I applied the things I had learned in the classroom in a real-world setting. - It helped me to define my personal and professional project. - And this intership has me to consolidate in my choice to become a designer, because I find that to stay eight hours in the same post of work is painful.
Conclusion
At the end, it was a valuable experience because I won of the work experience in other domain than the fashion. What I appreciated most was the atmosphere of confiance and the respect between the frames and the operators. I would recommend working at DAW S.A to people who are interest in this activity sector which is the medical orthopaedicswhich is the medical orthopaedics
Voilà, désolée c'est long, mais j'aimerais avoir un rapportniquel très correct...
En tout cas merci d'avance.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-06-2016 22:49
Message de hydrenoir posté le 22-06-2016 à 11:09:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis actuellement en deuxième année de BTS. J'ai effectué mon stage l'année dernière et je dois écrire deux pages en anglais, que j'ai finies! Cependant j'aurais aimé me faire corriger, si des personnes
Voici le texte en anglais:
Introduction
At first, I did my internship with xxx S.A in xxx during six weeks, from May 17th till June 24th, 2016. I have a school friend with me, xxx. Dxx is a factory wich works with the amputees. This factory made herself her knit. The product of this compagny are : ( je cite les produits de l'entreprise) (The product’s description in French is available on the page 8 – 9) My training course called X Corinne, she is the person in charge the product and vapeur however the executive directo is Mrs X X The compagny The Company employs nineteen staff; among them one are part-time employed. Every year, the company recruits a certain number of trainees to help students to acquire a larger professionnal experience, but also to take advantage of new talents and to keep a close contact with the educational community. It is necessary to know also that the company exports all over the world except in Asia because are their main competitor.
Activities
As an intern, I learned how to : - Use new machines as the N64, the saw blade, ect - Learn of piece of news assembly techniques - Calculate rates of efficiency We worked in groups of 2, and my tutor helped me when I had no idea of the way it was necessary to realize certain missions. Of course, in the first week, I was given a tour of the facility to know my way around and understand the activities and strategies of the company. My internship mainly consisted in - Realize of the beginning to the end of the interfaces for corsets. - To understand the job by person in charge of workshop. - Learn new techniques. - And to realize at least a case study. Moreover, I have chooses to realize two case studies : 1. Create a catalog of sample resuming all the materials and their possible finishes in this company. 2. Create a "Following Index card" to leave a track of the operators who work on the package of product.
Personnal Impression
I found this experience useful because - I applied the things I had learned in the classroom in a real-world setting. - It helped me to define my personal and professional project. - And this intership has me to consolidate in my choice to become a designer, because I find that to stay eight hours in the same post of work is painful.
Conclusion
At the end, it was a valuable experience because I won of the work experience in other domain than the fashion. What I appreciated most was the atmosphere of confiance and the respect between the frames and the operators. I would recommend working at DAW S.A to people who are interest in this activity sector which is the medical orthopaedicswhich is the medical orthopaedics
Voilà, désolée c'est long, mais j'aimerais avoir un rapport
En tout cas merci d'avance.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-06-2016 22:49
Réponse : Rapport/ BTS MMV de hydrogene75, postée le 28-06-2016 à 18:08:44 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Premièrement ton texte est largement suffisant pour un examen comme le BTS je pense qu'avec ça tu peux te faire un 13 ou 14/20 si ton prof n'est pas très exigent (à mon BTS anglais j'avais eu 18/20)
je ne vais pas te corriger tous le texte mais une bonne partie :
" I have a school friend with me " pas I have vu que tu parles de ton stage au passé mais " I had a school friend with me "
à la place de dire Dxx is a factory wich works with the amputees tu peux dire Dxx is a factory SPECIALIZED in amputees. (C'est très important d'utiliser un vocabulaire assez technique.)
pour " My training course called X Corinne " à mon avis tu as voulu dire ma directrice de stage ce qui se dit " My manager was named X Corinne " il faut toujours parler au prétérit car tu parles de quelque chose qui est passé.
she is the person in charge the product - tu n'as pas besoin de dire " person " dis juste " she's in charge OF the products " surtout n'oublies pas le of tu as oublié le " of "
The Company employs nineteen staff à mon avis tu as voulu dire la société comprend 19 employés ce qui se dit " There are nineteen employees working in here " bon là c'est de l'Anglais vraiment bilingue qui je pense ne correspond pas à ton niveau donc tu peux le mettre si tu veux mais il risque d'avoir des doutes sur le fait que tu as fais ce rapport tous seul.
It is necessary to know also that the company... il vaut mieux placer le also après It is : " It is also necessary to know that the company..... "
encore une faute ici : "except in Asia because are their main competitor. tu as voulu dire que l'Asie sont les principaux compétiteurs donc ça se dit : "except In Asia because they are their main competitor.
encore une grosse faute de conjugaison " I have chooses to realize two case studies " se dit " I have chosen to realize " c'est le prétérit ne l'oublie pas
Là je pense que je t'ai corrigé pas mal de choses il n'est pas encore nikel vu qu'il reste quelques fautes et je ne vais pas faire le boulot à ta place mais là tu vises facile le 15 sur 20
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-06-2016 22:25
On ne corrige pas à la place de ...
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