Oral/The Notion of Progress
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Message de kan70 posté le 08-05-2016 à 20:27:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je vous envoie mon oral de Bac sur le thème de l'idée de progrès. Je souhaiterais avoir une correction, s'il vous plaît. Au fur et à mesure des corrections apportées, je posterai le texte remanié.
"The Idea of Progress contains all the transformations improving the society and building its modernity. Scientifical, cultural, social or political changes are concerned. We will study more particularly social progress through the example of America. In spite of its image of a freedom's land, the USA are crossed by many forms of discrimination, such as those against gays. But the progress is real and America has already its surprises.
Why two songs by two American singers present the progress in America?
America is still today very conservative, the Christianity hold a very important place. Gays are consequenty pray to many discriminations. They are called «fags», and suffer from several stereotypes: they would be sex-addicts, users of drugs or infected with AIDS.
Macklemore considers himself like the spokesman of gay rights. In his song «Same love», he defends gay rights and attacks many homophobic groups, like right-wing conşervatives, Youtubers who post homophobic comments, churchmen and hip-hoppers. He denounces the misinterpretation of the Bible by priests who preach hatred about homosexuals: because indeed, «God loves all his children». He's a very brave singer, who risks of being rejected by the music industry and not selling albums.
But, unlike this song, will i am songs the hope and the love in «Yes We can», which is entirely composed from Obama's quotes. Barack Obama has been seen as the candidate of the discriminated, humble but hopeful people, of minorities during his presidential campaign. The song claims the struggle of abolitionnists and slaves against slavery, the dreams of immigrants, the fighting of workers and women, through the credo which is: «Yes, We can» It's a call for justice and prosperity, for healing the nation, for repairing the world.
In conclusion, America isn't a ground of liberties and tolerance for everybody: ethnic or social minorities are discminated. These two songs show two faces of America: one of discriminations and intolerance, for example against gays, the other of hope, progress and never-ending struggle against injustices. I think the second song is better, because it's the song of Barack Obama, the first black president in American history."
Par avance, merci.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-05-2016 14:47
Message de kan70 posté le 08-05-2016 à 20:27:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je vous envoie mon oral de Bac sur le thème de l'idée de progrès. Je souhaiterais avoir une correction, s'il vous plaît. Au fur et à mesure des corrections apportées, je posterai le texte remanié.
"The Idea of Progress contains all the transformations improving the society and building its modernity. Scientifical, cultural, social or political changes are concerned. We will study more particularly social progress through the example of America. In spite of its image of a freedom's land, the USA are crossed by many forms of discrimination, such as those against gays. But the progress is real and America has already its surprises.
Why two songs by two American singers present the progress in America?
America is still today very conservative, the Christianity hold a very important place. Gays are consequenty pray to many discriminations. They are called «fags», and suffer from several stereotypes: they would be sex-addicts, users of drugs or infected with AIDS.
Macklemore considers himself like the spokesman of gay rights. In his song «Same love», he defends gay rights and attacks many homophobic groups, like right-wing conşervatives, Youtubers who post homophobic comments, churchmen and hip-hoppers. He denounces the misinterpretation of the Bible by priests who preach hatred about homosexuals: because indeed, «God loves all his children». He's a very brave singer, who risks of being rejected by the music industry and not selling albums.
But, unlike this song, will i am songs the hope and the love in «Yes We can», which is entirely composed from Obama's quotes. Barack Obama has been seen as the candidate of the discriminated, humble but hopeful people, of minorities during his presidential campaign. The song claims the struggle of abolitionnists and slaves against slavery, the dreams of immigrants, the fighting of workers and women, through the credo which is: «Yes, We can» It's a call for justice and prosperity, for healing the nation, for repairing the world.
In conclusion, America isn't a ground of liberties and tolerance for everybody: ethnic or social minorities are discminated. These two songs show two faces of America: one of discriminations and intolerance, for example against gays, the other of hope, progress and never-ending struggle against injustices. I think the second song is better, because it's the song of Barack Obama, the first black president in American history."
Par avance, merci.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-05-2016 14:47
Réponse: Oral/The Notion of Progress de laure95, postée le 12-05-2016 à 14:22:27 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- a freedom's land: mal construit.
- and America has already its surprises: ?
- Why two songs by two American singers present the progress in America?: mal construit.
Où et l'annonce de plan?
- the (pas de THE)Christianity hold (faute de conjugaison)a very important place.
- Gays are consequenty pray (pluriel)to many discriminations.
- who risks of (pas de OF) being rejected by the music industry and not selling albums.
- In conclusion, America isn't a ground of liberties (singulier)and tolerance for everybody:
- These two songs show two faces of America: one of discriminations (singulier)and intolerance
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