Bac/notion of Power
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Message de mia4 posté le 23-04-2016 à 19:36:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en Terminale S et je viens de finir ma notion sur "Power". Cependant je ne suis vraiment pas sûre de ce que j'ai écri. Pourriez-vous, s'il vous plaît, m'aider en me disant les défauts de mon texte ? Merci par avance de votre aide.
Bonne journée.
I am going to talk about the notion of Power. To illustrate the notion of power, I would like to speak about school and education. We can wonder one question : Why school is a kind of power. To answer this question, I will explain that going to school is a chance and that some children cannot get an education. Then, I will highlight that we need to go to school to have a good futur.
One the one hand, so many children cannot go to school because they have to help their parents. In school, we heard a document which raises the problem of education in the world.
Malala Yousafzai is a young Pakistani who fights for humans' rights, espacially for the women's right for eduction. She get the Nobel Peace Prize when she was 17 year olds. She is the youngest-ever Nobel Prize lauraete. She explained that every women have the right to got education, to go to school, she fights for those who want education, changes, peace.
She underlines the fact that some women are sometimes illiterate because they live in a country where women have any rights or they live in a country who are gone to war.
Malala is not the only one who getting the Nobel Peace Prize for humans' rights. Indeed, Kailash Satyarthi fights against children's labour. He denounces that in poor country children sacrifice their time, their education to work and earn money for their family.
Both of them prove that the right for educaton is not universal because if people don't know anything, they cannot react against a power.
We must not forget that we live in a country where everyone can speak about what he wants. Every children must go to school. We have the chance to elect people who rule us. That's why I think education is a power and fortunatly people continue standing for this brief.
One the other hand, school enable us to choose a fulfilling job. To explain this, I have chosen an extract from the Freedom Writers Diary, which is a non fiction book, published in 1999 and written by the Freedom Writers, a group of California students and their teacher Erin Gruwell. In this excerpt, the narrator who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relate his family's background and explain what enabled him to go on to higher education. His parents were Mexican immigrants who lived below the poverty line. They must have emigrated so as to give their children a better live. Their parents were not illiterate but they had to quit school very early. His father left school after two years spending in elementary school because he had to help his father to take care of the cattle. The Mother went up to the sixth grade because women were not expected to get an education but she was compelled to become a good housewife. The narrator's parents put great store by education , since they could not fulfil themselves.
Because he was the first to have the opportinity to go on to higher education, the narrator dreaded go to college. But he managed to overcome his fears thanks to Ms Gruwell who orgenazed trips to visit colleges and talked him into going to university.Therefore, he took the decision of going on to higher education. This decision is the best one because he will be able to find a enriching job. To my mind the document that seem to best illustrate the notion is this one, because first we understand that his parents must have left their country because they were poor and have any opportunities of having a good live since they were forced to quit school. And the son, who decided to continue going to school, will have a better job than his parents.
School and education are important to us because it is what enable us to climb the social ladder, to fulfil ourselves. School enable us to find what we are willing to do in our life. Thanks school and education, we become more determined, motivated, reponsible. We improve ourselves and we can overcome any difficulties.
That is why school and education are a kind of power because thanks to them, we become grown-up people, and if someone supervise education ,he will control anyone.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2016 22:06
Message de mia4 posté le 23-04-2016 à 19:36:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en Terminale S et je viens de finir ma notion sur "Power". Cependant je ne suis vraiment pas sûre de ce que j'ai écri. Pourriez-vous, s'il vous plaît, m'aider en me disant les défauts de mon texte ? Merci par avance de votre aide.
Bonne journée.
I am going to talk about the notion of Power. To illustrate the notion of power, I would like to speak about school and education. We can wonder one question : Why school is a kind of power. To answer this question, I will explain that going to school is a chance and that some children cannot get an education. Then, I will highlight that we need to go to school to have a good futur.
One the one hand, so many children cannot go to school because they have to help their parents. In school, we heard a document which raises the problem of education in the world.
Malala Yousafzai is a young Pakistani who fights for humans' rights, espacially for the women's right for eduction. She get the Nobel Peace Prize when she was 17 year olds. She is the youngest-ever Nobel Prize lauraete. She explained that every women have the right to got education, to go to school, she fights for those who want education, changes, peace.
She underlines the fact that some women are sometimes illiterate because they live in a country where women have any rights or they live in a country who are gone to war.
Malala is not the only one who getting the Nobel Peace Prize for humans' rights. Indeed, Kailash Satyarthi fights against children's labour. He denounces that in poor country children sacrifice their time, their education to work and earn money for their family.
Both of them prove that the right for educaton is not universal because if people don't know anything, they cannot react against a power.
We must not forget that we live in a country where everyone can speak about what he wants. Every children must go to school. We have the chance to elect people who rule us. That's why I think education is a power and fortunatly people continue standing for this brief.
One the other hand, school enable us to choose a fulfilling job. To explain this, I have chosen an extract from the Freedom Writers Diary, which is a non fiction book, published in 1999 and written by the Freedom Writers, a group of California students and their teacher Erin Gruwell. In this excerpt, the narrator who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relate his family's background and explain what enabled him to go on to higher education. His parents were Mexican immigrants who lived below the poverty line. They must have emigrated so as to give their children a better live. Their parents were not illiterate but they had to quit school very early. His father left school after two years spending in elementary school because he had to help his father to take care of the cattle. The Mother went up to the sixth grade because women were not expected to get an education but she was compelled to become a good housewife. The narrator's parents put great store by education , since they could not fulfil themselves.
Because he was the first to have the opportinity to go on to higher education, the narrator dreaded go to college. But he managed to overcome his fears thanks to Ms Gruwell who orgenazed trips to visit colleges and talked him into going to university.Therefore, he took the decision of going on to higher education. This decision is the best one because he will be able to find a enriching job. To my mind the document that seem to best illustrate the notion is this one, because first we understand that his parents must have left their country because they were poor and have any opportunities of having a good live since they were forced to quit school. And the son, who decided to continue going to school, will have a better job than his parents.
School and education are important to us because it is what enable us to climb the social ladder, to fulfil ourselves. School enable us to find what we are willing to do in our life. Thanks school and education, we become more determined, motivated, reponsible. We improve ourselves and we can overcome any difficulties.
That is why school and education are a kind of power because thanks to them, we become grown-up people, and if someone supervise education ,he will control anyone.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2016 22:06
Réponse: Bac/notion of Power de laure95, postée le 24-04-2016 à 16:35:36 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- I am going to talk about the notion of Power: tu ne définis pas cette notion.
- One: on.
- espacially: orthographe.
- eduction.
- She get (passé)the Nobel Peace Prize when she was 17 year olds (pas de s).
- She explained (présent)that every women (every + singulier) have (singulier)the right to got (ce n'est pas l'infinitif) education, - - a country who are gone to war: mal dit.
- the only one who getting (mal conjugué)the Nobel Peace Prize for humans' rights.
- One the other hand,
- school enable (faute de conjugaison) us to choose a fulfilling job.
- In this excerpt, the narrator who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relate ( faute de conjugaison)
- his family's background and explain (faute de conjugaison)what enabled him to go on to higher education.
- They must have emigrated: HAD TO.
- a better live: A + SINGULIER)
- The (mettre un possessif)Mother went up to the sixth grade
- opportinity: orthographe.
- the narrator dreaded (to) go to college.
- orgenazed: ?
- trips to visit colleges and talked him into (about)going to university.
- a enriching job: A + MOT COMMENCANT PAR UNE VOYELLE.
- To my mind the document that seem (faute de conjugaison) to (the) best (to)illustrate the notion is this one,
- a good live
- what enable (singulier)us to climb the social ladder, to fulfil ourselves.
- School enable (singulier)us to find what we are willing to do in our life.
- if someone supervise (faute de conjugaison) education ,he will control anyone.
où commence ta conclusion? Où est l'ouverture?
Réponse: Bac/notion of Power de mia4, postée le 25-04-2016 à 19:03:02 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci de votre aide qui m'est très utile.
I am going to talk about the notion of Power. To illustrate the notion of power, I would like to speak about school and education. We can wonder one question : Why school is a kind of power. To answer this question, I will explain that going to school is a chance and that some children cannot get an education. Then, I will highlight that we need to go to school to have a good futur. But before explaining those documents, I would like to give a definition of the power. The power is the ability to be able to influence the behavior, the culture, the thoughts of someone.
On the one hand, so many children cannot go to school because they have to help their parents. In school, we heard a document which raises the problem of education in the world.
Malala Yousafzai is a young Pakistani who fights for humans' rights, especially for the women's right for education. She got the Nobel Peace Prize when she was 17 year old. She is the youngest-ever Nobel Prize lauraete. She explained that every woman has the right to get education, to go to school, she fights for those who want education, changes, peace.
She underlines the fact that some women are sometimes illiterate because they live in a country where women have any rights or they live in a country who is in wartime.
Malala is not the only one who gets the Nobel Peace Prize for humans' rights. Indeed, Kailash Satyarthi fights against children's labour. He denounces that in poor country children sacrifice their time, their education to work and earn money for their family.
Both of them prove that the right for educaton is not universal because if people don't know anything, they cannot react against a power.
We must not forget that we live in a country where everyone can speak about what he wants. Every children must go to school. We have the chance to elect people who rule us. That's why I think education is a power and fortunatly people continue standing for this brief.
On the other hand, school enables us to choose a fulfilling job. To explain this, I have chosen an extract from the Freedom Writers Diary, which is a non fiction book, published in 1999 and written by the Freedom Writers, a group of California students and their teacher Erin Gruwell. In this excerpt, the narrator who is about to graduate from high school and go to university, relates his family's background and explains what enabled him to go on to higher education. His parents were Mexican immigrants who lived below the poverty line. They must have emigrated so as to give their children a better life. Their parents were not illiterate but they had to quit school very early. His father left school after two years spending in elementary school because he had to help his father to take care of the cattle. The narrator's Mother went up to the sixth grade because women were not expected to get an education but she was compelled to become a good housewife. The narrator's parents put great store by education , since they could not fulfil themselves.
Because he was the first to have the opportunity to go on to higher education, the narrator dreaded going to college. But he managed to overcome his fears thanks to Ms Gruwell who organized trips to visit colleges and talked him into going to university. Therefore, he took the decision of going on to higher education. This decision is the best one because he will be able to find an enriching job. To my mind the document that seems to the best to illustrate the notion is this one, because first we understand that his parents must have left their country because they were poor and have any opportunities of having a good life since they were forced to quit school. And the son, who decided to continue going to school, will have a better job than his parents.
To conclude, School and education are important to us because it is what enables us to climb the social ladder, to fulfil ourselves. School enables us to find what we are willing to do in our life. Thanks school and education, we become more determined, motivated, reponsible. We improve ourselves and we can overcome any difficulties.
That is why school and education are a kind of power because thanks to them, we become grown-up people, and if someone supervises education ,he will control anyone.
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