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Oral/Idea of Progress

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/Idea of Progress
Message de julien8334 posté le 13-04-2016 à 14:35:10 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe un oral d'anglais lundi et je cherche donc des personnes pour m'aider à corriger mes erreurs.
Voilà ce que j'ai préparé, merci d'avance pour votre aide.

The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in the human condition. That is, people can become happier in terms of quality of life through economic development, and the application of science and technology. Progress implies change and evolution and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades and the technological breakthroughs is causing some people to question this progress. What effect do these « advances » have on our society? Do they always have a positive effect on the way we live?
To answer I choose four documents, the two first are speaking about the online dating sites and the third is speaking about the school and the new technologies, the last is showing different famous people who has created something on the internet.
In a first time I will speak about the technology in school, then I will speak about the online dating sites and at the end I’ll speak about different things that we can find on internet.
According to Greenfield the using of technology in school can give a better picture that students know. This technology can help the students to process an information that he has some difficulty to understand in a classroom. But in opposition to that thing, Greenfield say that reading develops imaginations, reflection and critical thinking. But today many students don’t read for pleasure but because they have to read. Greenfield say that parents have to encourage their children to read and should read to their young children. Greenfield has discovered that children who have an access to internet in classroom, are less performants in a test after class lectures. That shows that the students who have an access to internet are more disturbed and have more difficulty to focus on their work.
On internet there is so much things to do, like play video games, buy clothes, make some researches or go on social networks. In the documents we can see different persons who have done their own sites. Mark Zuckerberg is probably the most famous of them, it’s the creator of Facebook and today it’s one of the biggest web industry. The common point of all these people is that they learn to use a computer when they were young, and they liked to code something.
But there is some sites to find your soul mate to. I’ll speak about the different aspect of the online dating sites. In first those sites are made to help people who don’t have the time to go to meet people or don’t have the energy to do that to fine their soul mate. Frequently it’s people who had already a love affair before, or were married. It can help to find faster people with the same center of interests. But there is some problems with those sites. Some psychologist say that those sites treat people as goods and not human. It’s so easy to change of mate. You only need one click to do that. That’s not the reality.
The principal effect on our society is that people don’t go out to find other people, and have social relationship. But those technology can have a good effect on our society like the development of the medicine.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-04-2016 15:22


Réponse: Oral/Idea of Progress de gerondif, postée le 13-04-2016 à 15:03:27 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in the human condition. That is, people can become happier in terms of quality of life through economic development, and the application of science and technology. Progress implies change and evolution and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades and the technological breakthroughs is(pluriel) causing some people to question this progress. What effect do these « advances » have on our society? Do they always have a positive effect on the way we live?
To answer I choose (prétérit) four documents, the two first(inversez) are speaking (les textes écrits n'ont pas de cordes vocales) about the online dating sites and the third is speaking about the school and the new technologies, the last one is showing different famous people who haspluriel) created something on the internet.
In a first time (maladroit)I will speak about the technology in school, then I will speak about the online dating sites and atin the end I’ll speak about different things that we can find on the internet.
According to Greenfield the using (use) of technology in school can give a better picture that of what students know. This technology can help the students (to) process an information that he has(pluriel) some difficulty to understand in a classroom. But in opposition to that thing, Greenfield say(le s du présent simple svp!!) that reading develops imaginations, reflection and critical thinking. But today many students don’t read for pleasure but because they have to read. Greenfield say that parents have to encourage their children to read and should read to their young children. Greenfield has discovered that children who have an access to the internet in the classroom, are less performants(adjectif invariable) in a test after class lectures( a lecture en anglais, c'est une conférence, un cours). That shows that the students who have an access to the internet are more disturbed and have more difficulty (+ ing) to focus on their work.
On the internet there is so much(pluriel + erreur sur much car things est pluriel) things to do, like (+ ing) play video games, buy clothes, make some researches or go on social networks. In the documents we can see different persons (person donne people au pluriel) who have done their own sites. Mark Zuckerberg is probably the most famous of them, it’s the creator of Facebook and today it’s one of the biggest web industry(pluriel). The common point of(entre) all these people is that they learn(prétérit) to use a computer when they were young, and they liked to code something.
But there is(pluriel!!) some sites to find your soul mate to. I’ll speak about the different aspect(pluriel!!) of the online dating sites. In first those sites are made to help people who don’t have the time to go and meet people or don’t have the energy to do that to fine their soul mate. Frequently it’s they are people who had already had a love affair before, or were married. It can help to find faster people(inversez, vous trouvez des gens plus rapidement, pas des gens plus rapides) with the same center(pluriel) of interestssingulier). But there is(pluriel!!!) some problems with those sites. Some psychologists(pluriel!!) say that those sites treat people as goods and not like human beings. It’s so easy to change of mate. You only need one click to do that. That’s not the reality.
The principal effect on our society is that people don’t go out to find other people, and have social relationships. But those technology(pluriel) can have a good effect on our society like the development of the medicine.




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