Correction/Alan TURING
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basMessage de alanturing posté le 04-01-2016 à 19:52:17 (S | E | F)
Hello!
Déjà je vous remercie d'avoir cliqué sur mon petit sujet. Je demande de l'aide
J'ai un exposé ce Jeudi (7/01/16) et j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait corriger mon texte. J'ai relu beaucoup de fois, mais le professeur demande énormément de rigueur et je risque donc de perdre un point par faute commise.
Je vous remercie à l'avance. Bye !
Voici le texte en question :
Hi everyone! We’re going to introduce you one of the greatest scientist of the XXth century, Mister Turing, Alan TURING. We’re not going to give you a perfect biography, which would be boring, but we’ll try to explain you how he scored the modern science of his genius.
[NEXT SLIDE]
Turing was born in 1912 (nineteen twelve), next to London, and he died by suicide in 1954 (nineteen fifty-four).
[NEXT SLIDE]
He was a very brilliant pupil at school. He was a few years younger than the others in school. People say that he learnt to read in less than 3 weeks.
One day, in 1926 (nineteen twenty-six) he had to go to school but there was a General Strike so he couldn’t go to school in bus so, he took his bicycle and he travelled more than 60 miles (97 (ninety-seven) kilometers) – but he took a hotel for the night – to go to school.
When he was 16 years old, he began to take an interest about Einstein’s work.
He went in 1931 (nineteen thirty-one) to the King’s College, which is a famous university, but he was not really good because he did not want to work on classical subjects like literature because he used to prefer mathematics or physic. He failed many times at the exams.
He finally obtained his Ph. D in 1938 (nineteen thirty-eight) for his work on ordinal logic and the notion of relative computing at Princeton (where Einstein used to work).
[NEXT SLIDE]
In 1938, the British government understands that the German Empire is becoming dangerous. A new school is created, the Government Code and Cypher School, to decode the Nazi’s codes and stop them. To communicate, the Nazis used a machine to encrypt messages their, Enigma. The main goal of the Government Code and Cypher School is to crack the Enigma machine.
The Enigma machine is an incredible demonstration of genius; it can encrypt messages really quickly. When you type a letter, the machine gives you another letter who’s never the same.
[NEXT SLIDE]
[Explications]
[NEXT SLIDE]
The principle is based on the number of combinations the machine can do.
60*17 576* 26!/(6!*10!*2^10 ) = 158 962 555 217 826 360 000
So, Enigma can encode messages by … ways.
If we tested 1000 (one thousand) combinations per second, which is a lot, it would have taken 5 110 678 859 years.
So, Turing made a machine which was called “The bomb” to test all the combinations. By a very complicated mechanism, Turing managed to reduce this number and so, crack Enigma.
[NEXT SLIDE]
It has been estimated that this work shortened the war in Europe by as many as four years
[NEXT SLIDE]
Like you know, Turing was gay.
Homosexual acts were criminal offences in the United Kingdom at that time so he was prosecuted for homosexual acts and he had to make a choice. He had the choice between going to jail for 2 years, or a treatment to castrate him. He preferred the treatment because he didn’t want to go to jail and stop working on his projects.
All what he did for the United Kingdom had to stay secret, so he couldn’t say anything about his contribution in the war…
Turing was really affected by the treatment, and so, he committed a suicide by eating an apple with cyanide inside in 1954.
[NEXT SLIDE]
As we saw before, Turing committed a suicide by eating an apple with cyanide. Some think that this element is linked to the Apple logo. In his biography, Steve Jobs alluded to this element, without denying it. The logo of the famous Apple mark is a great tribute to Turing.
[NEXT SLIDE]
In 2012 (two thousand and twenty-two), one century after he was born, a scientist’s group with Stephen Hawking asked the government to cancel his condemnation. And they accepted.
[NEXT SLIDE]
Since 1966 (nineteen sixty-six), the Turing Award is a prize, which is given for a contribution in computer science. It’s like the Nobel Prize but in computer science. It’s a cup.
[NEXT SLIDE]
The Imitation Game is a movie that explains Turing’s life.
[NEXT SLIDE]
Turing has marked the history of the twentieth century by his genius who also inspired many people.
Given that his work was classified top secret, it’s no wonder no thanks were reserved for this man. He has been prosecuted and he was sentenced to 1 year of chemical castration.
Since the time, homosexuality has changed, it is now accepted in a lot of countries.
It's because of the judgment of humans that an awesome scientist died, someone who could help develop yet many things.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 04-01-2016 20:59
Réponse: Correction/Alan TURING de gerondif, postée le 04-01-2016 à 20:04:07 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Hi everyone! We’re going to introduce to you one of the greatest scientist(pluriel) of the XXth 20th century, Mister Turing, Alan TURING. We’re not going to give you a perfect biography, which would be boring, but we’ll try to explain to you how he scored (sens??) the modern science of his genius.
[NEXT SLIDE]
Turing was born in 1912 (nineteen twelve), next to London, and he died by suicide in 1954 (nineteen fifty-four).
[NEXT SLIDE]
He was a very brilliant pupil at school. He was a few years younger than the others in school. People say that he learnt to read in less than 3 weeks.
One day, in 1926 (nineteen twenty-six) he had to go to school but there was a General Strike so he couldn’t go to school in bus so, he took his bicycle and he travelled more than 60 miles (97 (ninety-seven) kilometers) – but he took a hotel for the night – to go to school.
When he was 16 years old, he began to take an interest
He went in 1931 (à mettre en premier) (nineteen thirty-one) to
He finally obtained his Ph. D in 1938 (nineteen thirty-eight) for his work on ordinal logic and the notion of relative computing at Princeton (where Einstein used to work).
[NEXT SLIDE]
(ce paragraphe au présent grince un peu dans ce texte au passé)
In 1938, the British government understands that the German Empire is becoming dangerous. A new school is created, the Government Code and Cypher School, to decode the Nazi’s codes and stop them. To communicate, the Nazis used a machine to encrypt messages their(à l'envers), Enigma. The main goal of the Government Code and Cypher School is to crack the Enigma machine.
The Enigma machine is an incredible demonstration of genius; it can encrypt messages really quickly. When you type a letter, the machine gives you another letter who’s (letter est un objet, who ne va pas)never the same.
[NEXT SLIDE]
[Explications]
[NEXT SLIDE]
The principle is based on the number of combinations the machine can do.
60*17 576* 26!/(6!*10!*2^10 ) = 158 962 555 217 826 360 000
So, Enigma can encode messages by … ways.
If we tested 1000 (one thousand) combinations per second, which is a lot, it would have taken 5 110 678 859 years.
So, Turing made a machine which was called “The bomb” to test all the combinations. By a very complicated mechanism, Turing managed to reduce this number and so, crack Enigma.
[NEXT SLIDE]
It has been estimated that this work shortened the war in Europe by as many as four years
[NEXT SLIDE]
Like(Ouah, c'est l'erreur qui tue !!) you know, Turing was gay.
Homosexual acts were criminal offences in the United Kingdom at that time so he was prosecuted for homosexual acts and he had to make a choice. He had the choice between going to jail for 2 years, or a treatment to castrate him. He preferred the treatment because he didn’t want to go to jail and stop working on his projects.
All what(utilisez un mot commençant par every) he did for the United Kingdom had to stay secret, so he couldn’t say anything about his contribution in to the war…
Turing was really affected by the treatment, and so, he committed a suicide by eating an apple with cyanide inside in 1954.
[NEXT SLIDE]
As we saw before, Turing committed a suicide by eating an apple with cyanide. Some think that this element is linked to the Apple logo. In his biography, Steve Jobs alluded to this element, without denying it. The logo of the famous Apple mark is a great tribute to Turing.
[NEXT SLIDE]
In 2012 (two thousand and twenty-two), one century after he was born, a scientist’s group( a group of scientists, composé de, pas appartenant à) with Stephen Hawking asked the government to cancel his condemnation. And they accepted.
[NEXT SLIDE]
Since 1966 (nineteen sixty-six), the Turing Award is(Boum! le piège! il y a un since, depuis, donc il faut un present perfect) a prize, which is given for a contribution in computer science. It’s like the Nobel Prize but in computer science. It’s a cup.
[NEXT SLIDE]
The Imitation Game is a movie that explains Turing’s life.
[NEXT SLIDE]
Turing has marked the history of the twentieth century by (plutôt with) his genius who(Boum! repiège! genius n'est pas un humain) also inspired many people.
Given that his work was classified top secret, it’s no wonder no thanks were reserved (maladroit) for this man. He has been (un prétérit passerait mieux car c'est implicitement daté) prosecuted and he was sentenced to 1 year of chemical castration.
Since the(à reculer dans le passé! alors, this ou that ??) time, homosexuality has changed,(ce n'est pas l'homosexualité qui a changé mais le regard du monde sur elle) it is now accepted in a lot of countries.
It's because of the judgment of humans that an awesome scientist died, someone who could have helped develop yet many things.
Réponse: Correction/Alan TURING de alanturing, postée le 04-01-2016 à 22:26:56 (S | E)
Rebonsoir !
Je te remercie énormémement pour cette grande aide, elle vient tout juste de sauver mon bulletin de notes (du moins je l'espère !).
Encore une fois, je te remercie.
Je te souhaite une bonne soirée et surtout une bonne nouvelle année. Que tes voeux se réalisent.
Bien cordialement.
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais