Correction/ Progrès
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Message de digorie posté le 22-10-2015 à 20:50:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je réalise actuellement ma fiche sur la Notion de Progrès pour le Bac. Auriez-vous la grande gentillesse de me faire part des éventuelles fautes que vous voyez ?
Merci beaucoup d'avance de consacrer un peu de temps à m'aider
Good morning. Today, I am going talk about the idea of progress. First of all, this notion can be defined as an improvement or a development in activities such as technology, sciences or social advance which contribute to making the world a better place. This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of progress. That’s way, we can wonder if the US should improve their level of education? In order, to answer this question and illustrate the notion, we will focus on the image of American students and why opposed to the others in the world, then we will analyse the education system in the US before finally focusing on the place of new technologies at school. To illustrate this theme, we will work on three documents.
The first document I have chosen is a cartoon drawn by Dave Granlund. It deals with study habits in the world. In this cartoon we can see three students. One from China, one from India and another one from America. The Asian teenagers look really serious, both are wearing glasses. But the American student looks lazy, cool, relaxed and easy-going. He’s ready to go on holydays. He which certainly isn’t the right attitude to have. He doesn’t care about school. The cartoonist makes us react of western students who waste their time at school. He exposes the education system of the US because he thinks that American students are too smug. Indeed, many people agree that the US needs to revaluate the level of skills and knowledge of students.
Secondly, the next document I have chosen is the Obama’s speech which took place at Wakefield High School in Virginia. In this speech, President Obama raises the subject of education. First he exposed teenagers who miss classes and denounced kids who talk back to teachers. He told pupils that their country’s future depend on their success. He captivated the attention of the audience with a punchy speech. Obama wanted to make us aware of the importance of education. To my mind, a more personalized learning could be great to improve the education system. We could also reduce class’ size to make it easier for teachers.
Finally, we can raise the following question: how the US could improve the level of education? The last document to answer this question is a summary of a New York Times article which deals with the use of technology in education. The article reveals that some parents send their kids to Waldorf schools, even if they work in technology firms like Google, which is paradoxical, because there is no technology in these schools. The philosophy of these schools is to teach the students how to concentrate just with master human interaction, critical thinking, and creativity. And of course, their goal is to make the kids love learning literature, math, science and arts. In our society, we’re constantly encouraged to live with the latest technological devices. To improve the US level of education, the mentalities are divided: with or without technologies. In my opinion, we should use technology from schools because it can be a great tool, full of interesting information. If we use it correctly, it may save some precious time.
In conclusion, I think we are all agree the US need to improve their level of Education. Nelson Mandela said “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”. And I really share his opinion. If we referring back to the definition of progress, we know that it’s contribute to make the world a better place. Anyway, the US need a better education level, to to continue to change the world in a positive way. And I believe that whether with technology or without, students can succeed if they work hard in any of both educational systems.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-10-2015 21:28
Message de digorie posté le 22-10-2015 à 20:50:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je réalise actuellement ma fiche sur la Notion de Progrès pour le Bac. Auriez-vous la grande gentillesse de me faire part des éventuelles fautes que vous voyez ?
Merci beaucoup d'avance de consacrer un peu de temps à m'aider
Good morning. Today, I am going talk about the idea of progress. First of all, this notion can be defined as an improvement or a development in activities such as technology, sciences or social advance which contribute to making the world a better place. This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of progress. That’s way, we can wonder if the US should improve their level of education? In order, to answer this question and illustrate the notion, we will focus on the image of American students and why opposed to the others in the world, then we will analyse the education system in the US before finally focusing on the place of new technologies at school. To illustrate this theme, we will work on three documents.
The first document I have chosen is a cartoon drawn by Dave Granlund. It deals with study habits in the world. In this cartoon we can see three students. One from China, one from India and another one from America. The Asian teenagers look really serious, both are wearing glasses. But the American student looks lazy, cool, relaxed and easy-going. He’s ready to go on holydays. He which certainly isn’t the right attitude to have. He doesn’t care about school. The cartoonist makes us react of western students who waste their time at school. He exposes the education system of the US because he thinks that American students are too smug. Indeed, many people agree that the US needs to revaluate the level of skills and knowledge of students.
Secondly, the next document I have chosen is the Obama’s speech which took place at Wakefield High School in Virginia. In this speech, President Obama raises the subject of education. First he exposed teenagers who miss classes and denounced kids who talk back to teachers. He told pupils that their country’s future depend on their success. He captivated the attention of the audience with a punchy speech. Obama wanted to make us aware of the importance of education. To my mind, a more personalized learning could be great to improve the education system. We could also reduce class’ size to make it easier for teachers.
Finally, we can raise the following question: how the US could improve the level of education? The last document to answer this question is a summary of a New York Times article which deals with the use of technology in education. The article reveals that some parents send their kids to Waldorf schools, even if they work in technology firms like Google, which is paradoxical, because there is no technology in these schools. The philosophy of these schools is to teach the students how to concentrate just with master human interaction, critical thinking, and creativity. And of course, their goal is to make the kids love learning literature, math, science and arts. In our society, we’re constantly encouraged to live with the latest technological devices. To improve the US level of education, the mentalities are divided: with or without technologies. In my opinion, we should use technology from schools because it can be a great tool, full of interesting information. If we use it correctly, it may save some precious time.
In conclusion, I think we are all agree the US need to improve their level of Education. Nelson Mandela said “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”. And I really share his opinion. If we referring back to the definition of progress, we know that it’s contribute to make the world a better place. Anyway, the US need a better education level, to to continue to change the world in a positive way. And I believe that whether with technology or without, students can succeed if they work hard in any of both educational systems.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-10-2015 21:28
Réponse: Correction/ Progrès de laure95, postée le 23-10-2015 à 19:05:45 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- contribute to making: TO + INFINITIF.
-study habits: ?,
- In this cartoon: pas la bonne préposition.
-holydays: orthographe.
- He which certainly isn’t the right attitude: mal dit.
- react of: pas la bonne préposition.
- the US needs: mettre au pluriel.
- the Obama’s speech: pas d'article devant le nom d'une personne.
- First he exposed: garder le même temps que le verbe précédent.
- and denounced:
- He told
- their country’s future depend: conjugaison.
- He captivated
- critical thinking: mal dit.
- math: mettre au pluriel.
- from schools: pas la bonne préposition.
- In conclusion: to conclude.
- we are all agree: être d'accord: TO AGREE.
- If we referring: ce n'est pas un temps.
- it’s contribute: conjugaison
Réponse: Correction/ Progrès de here4u, postée le 23-10-2015 à 22:06:49 (S | E)
Hello !
Attention :
- contribute to + ing et the US + singulier sont bons.
souligné = maladroit...
Good morning. Today, I am going talk about(Pfff...) the idea of progress. First of all, this notion can be defined as an improvement or a development in activities such as technology, sciences or social advance which contribute to making TB the world a better place. This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of progress. That’s way,(why?) we can wonder if the US should improve their level of education? In order, to answer this question and illustrate the notion, we will focus on the image of American students and why
opposed to the others in the world,(not clear at all) then we will analyse the education system in the US before finally focusing on the place of new technologies at school. To illustrate this theme, we will work on three documents.The first document I have chosen is a cartoon drawn by Dave Granlund. It deals with study habits in the world. In this cartoon we can see three students. One from China, one from India and another one from America. The Asian teenagers look really serious, both are wearing glasses.
But the American student looks lazy, cool, relaxed and easy-going. He’s ready to go on holydays. He which certainly isn’t the right attitude to have. He doesn’t care about school. The cartoonist makes us react of western students who waste their time at school. He exposes the education system of the US because he thinks that American students are too smug. Indeed, many people agree that the US needs to revaluate the level of skills and knowledge of the students.Secondly, the next following document I have chosen is the Obama’s speech which took place at Wakefield High School in Virginia. In this speech, President Obama raises the subject of education. First he exposed teenagers who miss skip classes and denounced kids who talk answer back to teachers. He told pupils that their country’s future depend (genitive and tense)on their success. He captivated the attention of the audience with a punchy speech. Obama wanted to make us
aware of the importance of education. To my mind, a more personalized learning could be great to improve the education system. We could also reduce class’ size to make it easier for teachers.Finally, we can raise the following question: how the US could improve the level of education? The last document to answer this question is a summary of a New York Times article which deals with the use of technology in education. The article reveals that some parents send their kids to Waldorf schools, even if they work in technology firms like Google, which is paradoxical, because there is no technology (taught?)in these schools. The philosophy of these schools is to teach the students how to concentrate just with(by?)
mastering human interaction,X critical thinking, and creativity. And of course, their goal is to make the kids love learning literature, mathS, scienceS and arts. In our society, we’re constantly encouraged to live with the latest technological devices. To improve the US level of education, the mentalities are divided: with or without technologies.(very clumsy) In my opinion, we should use technology from schools because it can be a great tool, full of interesting information. If we use it correctly, it may save some precious time.In conclusion, I think we are all agree the US need
to improve their level of Education. Nelson Mandela said “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”( and a former slave, Frederick Douglas said'it's the pathway to Freedom!'). 
(attention au mélange des temps...Réponse: Correction/ Progrès de digorie, postée le 24-10-2015 à 11:39:54 (S | E)
Bonjour.
D'abord merci beaucoup à vous deux. Vos réponses m'ont été très utiles et me permettent d'apprendre de nouvelles règles en anglais.
J'ai essayé de tenir compte au maximum de vos corrections.
Cependant, certaines tournures ou formules que vous avez mis en évidence sont "conseillée" et donnée par ma Professeur comme "I'm going to talk about", ou encore "who talk back to teachers". Elles nous donne des polys sur lesquels il y a des phrases types. Je n'ai donc pas changé ces phrases, j'espère que vous comprendrez ;)
Je n'ai aussi pas compris par quoi et comment je dois remplacer le pronom "their" ? C'est bien le possessif ? Il faut plutôt utiliser "them" ? Merci !
Good morning. Today, I am going talk about the idea of progress. First of all, this notion can be defined as an improvement or a development in activities such as technology, sciences or social advance which contribute to make the world a better place. This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of progress. That’s why we can wonder if the US should improve their level of education? In order, to answer this question and illustrate the notion, we will focus on the image of American students and why opposed to the others in the world, then we will analyse the education’s system in the US before finally focusing on the place of new technologies at school. To illustrate this theme, we will work on three documents.
The first document I have chosen is a cartoon drawn by Dave Granlund. It deals with study habits in the world. On this cartoon we can see three students. One from China, one from India and another one from America. The Asian teenagers look really serious, both are wearing glasses. But the American student looks lazy, cool, relaxed and easy-going. He’s ready to go on holidays. He which certainly isn’t the right attitude to have. He doesn’t care about school. The cartoonist makes us react of western students who waste their time at school. He exposes the education’s system of the US because he thinks that American students are too smug. Indeed, many people agree that the US needs to revaluate the level of skills and knowledge of students.
Secondly, the next following document I have chosen is Obama’s speech which took place at Wakefield High School in Virginia. In this speech, President Obama raised the subject of education. First he exposed teenagers who miss classes and denounced kids who talk back to teachers. He told pupils that their country’s future depends on their success. He captivated the attention of the audience with a punchy speech. Obama wanted to make us aware of the importance of education. To my mind, a more personalized learning could be great to improve the education’s system. We could also reduce class size to make it easier for teachers.
Finally, we can raise the following question: how the US can improve the level of education? The last document to answer this question is a summary of a New York Times article which deals with the use of technology in education. The article reveals that some parents send their kids to Waldorf schools, even if they work in technological firms like Google, which is paradoxical, because there is no technology in these schools. The philosophy of these schools is to teach the students how to concentrate just by human interaction, critical thinking, and creativity. And of course, their goal is to make the kids love learning literature, maths, science and arts. In our society, we’re constantly encouraged to live with the latest technological devices. To improve the US level of education, the mentalities are divided: should we use the technology at school? In my opinion, we should use technology at schools because it can be a great tool, full of interesting information. If we use it correctly, it may save some precious time.
To conclude, I think we all agree the US need to improve their level of Education. Nelson Mandela said “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”. I really share his opinion. If we go back to the definition of progress, we know that it’s contributes to make the world a better place. Anyway, the US needs a better education level, to continue to change the world in a positive way. I believe that with or without, students can succeed if they work hard in any of both educational systems.
Encore merci pour l'attention que vous portez à mon texte.
Réponse: Correction/ Progrès de laure95, postée le 24-10-2015 à 18:21:16 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Je n'ai aussi pas compris par quoi et comment je dois remplacer le pronom "their" ? C'est bien le possessif ? Il faut plutôt utiliser "them" ?: tu dois bien utiliser un possessif mais ce n'est pas le bon (c'est par rapport au pays donc utilise un possessif au singulier)
- Today, I am going talk about: il manque TO entre GOING et TALK.
- contribute to make
- their level of education?
- why opposed to the others: ?
- to go on holidays: pas au pluriel.
- He which certainly: ?
- The cartoonist makes us react: SUJET + WANT + US + VERBE
- who miss classes: problème de temps.
-who talk back to teachers.
- dépends: temps.
-the US need: conjugaison.
-their level
- it’s contributes: tu mets 2 verbes: BE et CONTRIBUTE
- with or without: où est passé le mot TECHNOLOGY?
Réponse: Correction/ Progrès de digorie, postée le 25-10-2015 à 15:31:41 (S | E)
Merci infiniment de votre aide. ;)
J'ai procédé à quelques modifications. Y a t-il encore des fautes selon vous ?
Good morning. Today, I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, this notion can be defined as an improvement or a development in activities such as technology, sciences or social advance which contributes to make the world a better place. This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of progress. That’s why we can wonder if the US should improve his level of education? In order, to answer this question and illustrate the notion, we will focus on the image of American students in the world, then we will analyse the education’s system in the US before finally focusing on the place of new technologies at school. To illustrate this theme, we will work on three documents.
The first document I have chosen is a cartoon drawn by Dave Granlund. It deals with study habits in the world. On this cartoon we can see three students. One from China, one from India and another one from America. The Asian teenagers look really serious, both are wearing glasses. But the American student looks lazy, cool, relaxed and easy-going. He’s ready to go on holiday. It isn’t the right attitude to have. He doesn’t care about school. The cartoonist wants us react of western students who waste their time at school. He exposes the education’s system of the US because he thinks that American students are too smug. Indeed, many people agree that the US needs to revaluate the level of skills and knowledge of students.
Secondly, the next following document I have chosen is Obama’s speech which took place at Wakefield High School in Virginia. In this speech, President Obama raised the subject of education. First he exposed teenagers who miss classes and denounced kids who talked back to teachers. He told pupils that their country’s future depends on their success. He captivated the attention of the audience with a punchy speech. Obama wanted to make us aware of the importance of education. To my mind, a more personalized learning could be great to improve the education’s system. We could also reduce class size to make it easier for teachers.
Finally, we can raise the following question: how the US can improve the level of education? The last document to answer this question is a summary of a New York Times article which deals with the use of technology in education. The article reveals that some parents send their kids to Waldorf schools, even if they work in technological firms like Google, which is paradoxical, because there is no technology in these schools. The philosophy of these schools is to teach the students how to concentrate just by human interaction, critical thinking, and creativity. And of course, their goal is to make the kids love learning literature, maths, science and arts. In our society, we’re constantly encouraged to live with the latest technological devices. To improve the US level of education, the mentalities are divided: should we use the technology at school? In my opinion, we should use technology at schools because it can be a great tool, full of interesting information. If we use it correctly, it may save some precious time.
To conclude, I think we all agree the US need to improve his level of Education. Nelson Mandela said “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”. I really share his opinion. If we go back to the definition of progress, we know that it’s contributes to make the world a better place. Anyway, the US needs a better education level, to continue to change the world in a positive way. I believe that with or without technology, students can succeed if they work hard in any of both educational systems.
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