Correction/discours
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Message de sacha374 posté le 22-10-2015 à 18:01:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pour les vacances nous devons écrire un discours en anglais sur le thème de notre choix. J'ai donc choisi le thème de l'environnement.
J'aimerais une correction car il doit y avoir beaucoup de fautes... (Certaines tournures de phrases ne sont pas correctes.)
Voici mon texte :
My dear friends, my name is Abby Wilson and I’m here today to talk about environmental and ecological disaster. We’re in situation where we’re only ones who can change these disasters.
Before, when I was young, we spoke very few ecological problems. But by growing up, many problems were discovered.
So I’d like to start by speaking problems. Today, our earth degrades. Why? We don’t respect her. She has to face the global warming, the deforestation, the exhaust gas, the nuclear waste and others. What are the consequences? Global warming alters weather patterns. And on the other hand chemicals are responsible for the hole in the ozone layer. What’s more, we can also speak animals. They are in danger too. Some species may will become extinct by the end of the century. But together we can change that. Earth is our home and we’ve got to treat it right. We have the chance to keep that from happening. One of the mains solutions would be either to develop alternative energy sources or to ban traffic altogether. Obviously it’s still difficult for us to make it. So firstly every people can make a small gesture. Like for example to participate in an association, to recycle our waste or to buy solar panels. Don’t you think that together we can make the situation evolve?
So I hope this speech is going to make you reflect. That you are going to change the habits. Open your eyes and don’t fold your arms! Together, we can change the world!
Merci d'avance aux personnes qui prendront de leur temps pour m'aider
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-10-2015 18:31
Message de sacha374 posté le 22-10-2015 à 18:01:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pour les vacances nous devons écrire un discours en anglais sur le thème de notre choix. J'ai donc choisi le thème de l'environnement.
J'aimerais une correction car il doit y avoir beaucoup de fautes... (Certaines tournures de phrases ne sont pas correctes.)
Voici mon texte :
My dear friends, my name is Abby Wilson and I’m here today to talk about environmental and ecological disaster. We’re in situation where we’re only ones who can change these disasters.
Before, when I was young, we spoke very few ecological problems. But by growing up, many problems were discovered.
So I’d like to start by speaking problems. Today, our earth degrades. Why? We don’t respect her. She has to face the global warming, the deforestation, the exhaust gas, the nuclear waste and others. What are the consequences? Global warming alters weather patterns. And on the other hand chemicals are responsible for the hole in the ozone layer. What’s more, we can also speak animals. They are in danger too. Some species may will become extinct by the end of the century. But together we can change that. Earth is our home and we’ve got to treat it right. We have the chance to keep that from happening. One of the mains solutions would be either to develop alternative energy sources or to ban traffic altogether. Obviously it’s still difficult for us to make it. So firstly every people can make a small gesture. Like for example to participate in an association, to recycle our waste or to buy solar panels. Don’t you think that together we can make the situation evolve?
So I hope this speech is going to make you reflect. That you are going to change the habits. Open your eyes and don’t fold your arms! Together, we can change the world!
Merci d'avance aux personnes qui prendront de leur temps pour m'aider
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-10-2015 18:31
Réponse: Correction/discours de gerondif, postée le 22-10-2015 à 18:20:29 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
My dear friends, my name is Abby Wilson and I’m here today to talk about environmental and ecological disaster(pluriel). We’re in a situation where we’re the only ones who can change these disasters.
Before, when I was young, we spoke very few(il faut dire peu, pas quelques)(manque au sujet de) ecological problems. But by(complément de moyen incorrect) growing up, many problems were discovered.
So I’d like to start by speaking (au sujet de) problems. Today, our earth degrades(ce verbe n'est pas pronominal). Why? We don’t respect her. She(sauf si vous personnifiez la terre come être féminin) has to face
So I hope this speech is going to make you reflect(signifie réfléchir pour un miroir!), and that you are going to change the(mettez un adj possessif) habits. Open your eyes and don’t fold your arms(je crois qu'on dirait don't stay with your arms folded et encore ce n'est pas sûr: en tapant l'expression "rester les bras croisés" sous linguee, je trouve beaucoup d'expressions comme:
"Pourquoi devrions-nous rester les bras croisés et regarder nos voisins du Sud contester les décisions qui ne leur sont pas
Why would we stand by and watch our neighbours to the south appeal the decisions that did not go their way while we simply
[...])! )Allez voir !
Together, we can change the world!
Réponse: Correction/discours de gerondif, postée le 23-10-2015 à 00:00:27 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
My dear friends, my name is Abby Wilson and I’m here today to talk about environmental and ecological disasters. We’re in a situation where we’re the only ones who can change these disasters.
Before, when I was young, we spoke very not manyabout ecological problems. But growing up (maintenant que je suis adulte irait mieux), many problems were(un present perfect irait mieux) discovered.
So I’d like to start by speaking about problems. Today, our earth degrades(ce verbe n'est pas pronominal:écrire devient de plus en plus dégrade) Why? We don’t respect it. She has to face global warming, deforestation, exhaust gas(pluriel: les noms terminés par s,sh,ch,x,z, et o font un pluriel en es), nuclear waste and others. What are the consequences? Global warming alters weather patterns. And on the other hand chemicals are responsible for the hole in the ozone layer. What’s more, we can also speak about animals. They are in danger too. Some species may become extinct by the end of the century. But together we can change that. Earth is our home and we’ve got to treat it right. We have the chance(au sens de opportunity je pense, parce que si c'était le mot français chance, ça n'irait pas) to keep that from happening. One of the mains solutions would be either to develop alternative energy sources or to ban traffic altogether. Obviously it’s still difficult for us to make it. So firstly everybody can make a small gesture, such as (convient maintenant avec un gérondif) for example participating in an association, recycling our waste or buying solar panels. Don’t you think that together we can make the situation evolve?
So I hope this speech is going to make you think, and that you are going to change your habits. Open your eyes and don’t fold your arms. J’ai pu trouver “to lounge around” c’est la réponse qui me semble la plus juste. Mais comment l’utiliser : à l'impératif négatif!
Together, we can change the world!
Réponse: Correction/discours de lucile83, postée le 23-10-2015 à 09:33:16 (S | E)
Hello,
we spoke not very
à repenser !Je n'ai pas lu plus loin.
Réponse: Correction/discours de gerondif, postée le 23-10-2015 à 10:37:46 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Utilisez l'aide qu'on vous donne!
exemple: je fume très peu: I smoke very little.
Je fume très peu de tabac: I smoke very little tobacco.
Je fume très peu de cigarettes: I smoke very few cigarettes.
My dear friends, my name is Abby Wilson and I’m here today to talk about environmental and ecological disasters. We’re in a situation where we’re the only ones who can change these disasters.
Before, when I was young, we spoke not very about ecological problems. But growing up (dites, depuis que j'ai grandi au prétérit), many problems have been discovering
So I’d like to start by speaking about problems. Today, our earth degrades more and more(ce verbe n'est pas pronominal:écrire devient de plus en plus dégradé) Why? We don’t respect it. She has to face global warming, deforestation, exhaust gases, nuclear waste and others. What are the consequences? Global warming alters weather patterns. And on the other hand chemicals are responsible for the hole in the ozone layer. What’s more, we can also speak about animals. They are in danger too. Some species may become extinct by the end of the century. But together we can change that. Earth is our home and we’ve got to treat it right. We have the opportunity to keep that from happening. One of the mains solutions would be either to develop alternative energy sources or to ban traffic altogether. Obviously it’s still difficult for us to make it. So firstly everybody can make a small gesture, such as for example participating in an association, recycling our waste or buying solar panels. Don’t you think that together we can make the situation evolve?
So I hope this speech is going to make you think, and that you are going to change your habits. Open your eyes and don’t fold your arms. (ne se dit pas. Celà correspond ici à l'ordre d'un kiné interdisant à un patient de se croiser les bras)
Together, we can change the world!
Réponse: Correction/discours de gerondif, postée le 23-10-2015 à 11:50:01 (S | E)
Bonjour,
My dear friends, my name is Abby Wilson and I’m here today to talk about environmental and ecological disasters. We’re in a situation where we’re the only ones who can change these disasters.
Before, when I was young, we spoke very little about ecological problems. But since I grew up, many problems have discovered(voix passive)
So I’d like to start by speaking about problems. Today, our earth becomes more and more degraded Why? Because we don’t respect it. She has to face global warming, deforestation, exhaust gases, nuclear waste and others. What are the consequences? Global warming alters weather patterns. And on the other hand chemicals are responsible for the hole in the ozone layer. What’s more, we can also speak about animals. They are in danger too. Some species may become extinct by the end of the century. But together we can change that. Earth is our home and we’ve got to treat it right. We have the opportunity to keep that from happening. One of the mains solutions would be either to develop alternative energy sources or to ban traffic altogether. Obviously it’s still difficult for us to make it. So firstly everybody can make a small gesture, such as for example participating in an association, recycling our waste or buying solar panels. Don’t you think that together we can make the situation evolve?
So I hope this speech is going to make you think, and that you are going to change your habits. Open your eyes and don’t lounge around. Together, we can change the world!
Réponse: Correction/discours de gerondif, postée le 23-10-2015 à 14:32:31 (S | E)
Bonjour,
My dear friends, my name is Abby Wilson and I’m here today to talk about environmental and ecological disasters. We’re in a situation where we’re the only ones who can change these disasters.
Before, when I was young, we spoke very little about ecological problems. But since I grew up, many problems have been discovered.
So I’d like to start by speaking about problems. Today, our earth becomes more and more degraded. Why? Because we don’t respect it. She(me gène un peu. Mettez quelque chose comme "Our planet") has to face global warming, deforestation, exhaust gases, nuclear waste and others. What are the consequences? Global warming alters weather patterns. And on the other hand chemicals are responsible for the hole in the ozone layer. What’s more, we can also speak about animals. They are in danger too. Some species may become extinct by the end of the century. But together we can change that. Earth is our home and we’ve got to treat it right. We have the opportunity to keep that from happening. One of the mains solutions would be to develop alternative energy sources or to ban traffic altogether. Obviously it’s still difficult for us to make(ah, une erreur oubliée, do, c'est faire, make, c'est fabriquer) it. So first(ly) everybody can (on pourrait mettre un conditionnel, could, à valeur de suggestion polie) make a small gesture, (such as on pourrait l'enlever en fait) for example participating in an association, recycling our waste or buying solar panels. Don’t you think that together we can make the situation evolve?
So I hope this speech is going to make you think, and that you are going to change your habits. Open your eyes and don’t lounge around. Together, we can change the world!
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