Résultat/ lettre motivation
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Message de rayane99 posté le 15-10-2015 à 22:10:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai fini la correction de ma lettre de motivation grâce a des membres de ce site, je pense qu'il n'y a plus de fautes mais dites le moi sil vous plait s'il y en a
;je vous laissent laisse lire
From: xxx in France
To: University of London
Date: thursday, september 24th
Object: My flatsharing
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing in response to your flatsharing annoucement for a several month in London. My name is xxx, I am a boy and I have 19 years old, I finished school last year and I began my studies this year in criminology. I am very cool, very nice with people. I'm not someone demanding, I'm just a simple man, open minded, organized, honnest, responsable and reliable. I have a lot of qualities despite the fact that I have also defects.
I want to share this apartment because I have not the means to pay the rent alone without financial support. Moreover, I must pay my studies I don't have the choice. I prefer to share an apartment rather than become homeless. So, that's why I want a roommate during my studies.
I like nice people who are involved in daily tasks. Then, I like to have confidence in people in order to could leave your wallet. I like the nice people with whom I can have fun all the time in parties with alcohol or cool drinks and it's important fridge full of food or biere. Nevertheless, I don't like people who smoke in our apartment or who don't pay the rent because I would not be always available, it's very important.
It's necessary that the apartment should be always clean and tidy. And, I know we must to be organized for live together. I am ready to share this apartment, having a roommate would be an enriching experience for me.
Thank you for your time and attention,
Yours faithfully,
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-10-2015 22:56
Il fallait continuer sur le topic commencé ici:
Lien internet
Message de rayane99 posté le 15-10-2015 à 22:10:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai fini la correction de ma lettre de motivation grâce a des membres de ce site, je pense qu'il n'y a plus de fautes mais dites le moi sil vous plait s'il y en a
;je vous From: xxx in France
To: University of London
Date: thursday, september 24th
Object: My flatsharing
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing in response to your flatsharing annoucement for a several month in London. My name is xxx, I am a boy and I have 19 years old, I finished school last year and I began my studies this year in criminology. I am very cool, very nice with people. I'm not someone demanding, I'm just a simple man, open minded, organized, honnest, responsable and reliable. I have a lot of qualities despite the fact that I have also defects.
I want to share this apartment because I have not the means to pay the rent alone without financial support. Moreover, I must pay my studies I don't have the choice. I prefer to share an apartment rather than become homeless. So, that's why I want a roommate during my studies.
I like nice people who are involved in daily tasks. Then, I like to have confidence in people in order to could leave your wallet. I like the nice people with whom I can have fun all the time in parties with alcohol or cool drinks and it's important fridge full of food or biere. Nevertheless, I don't like people who smoke in our apartment or who don't pay the rent because I would not be always available, it's very important.
It's necessary that the apartment should be always clean and tidy. And, I know we must to be organized for live together. I am ready to share this apartment, having a roommate would be an enriching experience for me.
Thank you for your time and attention,
Yours faithfully,
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-10-2015 22:56
Il fallait continuer sur le topic commencé ici:
Lien internet
Réponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de gerondif, postée le 15-10-2015 à 22:54:22 (S | E)
Hello,
comment faites-vous pour conjuguer un verbe avec un sujet je en .....ent ?
je vous "laissent" lire: Vous diriez , Je mangent ?
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
From: Arles in France
To: University of London
Date: thursday, september 24th
Object: My flatsharing
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing in response to your flatsharing annoucement for a several month in London. My name is Rayane Bouwdene, I am a boy and I have 19 years old, I finished school last year and I began my studies this year in criminology. I am very cool, very nice with people. I'm not someone demanding, I'm just a simple man, open minded, organized, honnest, responsable and reliable. I have a lot of qualities despite the fact that I also have defects.
I want to share this apartment because I have not the means to pay the rent alone without financial support. Moreover, I must pay for my studies I don't have the choice. I prefer to share an apartment rather than become homeless. So, that's why I want a roommate during my studies.
I like nice people who are involved in daily tasks. Then, I like to have confidence in people in order to could leave your wallet.(l'idée de "on peut laisser son portefeuille sans se le faire piquer " ne passe pas) I like the nice people with whom I can have fun all the time in parties with alcohol or cool drinks and it's important the fridge (verbe?) full of food or biere. Nevertheless, I don't like people who smoke in our apartment or who don't pay the rent because I would not be always available(vous devez traduire vos erreurs de français parce que la phrase signifie: je ne serAIS (conditionnel) pas toujours disponible. Je pense que vous vouliez parler au futur, vous confondez le son é de je ne serai et le son ê de je ne serais pas disponible. De plus , ça veut dire quoi, être disponible par rapport au tabac ou au loyer ???), it's very important.
It's necessary that the apartment should be always clean and tidy. And, I know we must to be organized for live together. I am ready to share this apartment, having a roommate would be an enriching experience for me.
Thank you for your time and attention,
Yours faithfully,
Réponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de rayane99, postée le 15-10-2015 à 23:00:39 (S | E)
en bleu c'est les fautesRéponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de rayane99, postée le 15-10-2015 à 23:16:28 (S | E)
gerondif en bleu c'est les fautes?
Réponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de rayane99, postée le 15-10-2015 à 23:21:48 (S | E)
non gerondif je ne fais pas vraiment attention à l'orthographe car je suis fatigué et il est tard mais je connais ma conjugaison:
je laisse
tu laisses
il laisse
nous laissons
vous laissez
il laissent
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-10-2015 23:36
Réponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de gerondif, postée le 15-10-2015 à 23:23:14 (S | E)
oui, c'est marqué en ligne 4 de mon message précedent.
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Réponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de rayane99, postée le 15-10-2015 à 23:32:51 (S | E)
oups désolé, merci beaucoup pour l'aide, je peux te mettre une bonne appréciation ou te rendre un service pour quelque chose
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-10-2015 23:38
trop mignon!Réponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de gerondif, postée le 15-10-2015 à 23:49:06 (S | E)
Ah oui, un bon bulletin, pour changer....
Sinon, j'aurais bien besoin d'une épaule, de quelques genoux en meilleure forme mais on ne va pas te désosser tout de suite!
Réponse: Résultat/ lettre motivation de rayane99, postée le 16-10-2015 à 00:41:14 (S | E)
Mdr
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