Correction/devoir

Correction/devoir
Message de trucs16 posté le 22-04-2015 à 16:44:12 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous
je viens vers vous car j'ai vraiment besoin d'aide : j'ai rédigé ces réponses à un devoir que j'ai dû faire, mais j'ai l'impression d'avoir fait beaucoup de fautes au niveau de la grammaire (je ne suis vraiment pas douée à ce niveau-là...). Quelqu'un pourrait-il m'aider en me disant s'il voit des fautes ?

1)The problem was that, in this large national trucking company, there were packages loading errors in the wrong trucks. Two people worked each truck, one responsible for checking the packages, and the other for loading the packages.
To avoid errors, they would have had to check both the packages. However, the working conditions were not favorable, and employees refused to do this “double check”
The solution found was the motivator “Molson Beer” : If a team of two employee achieved no miss-sorts for an week, they were rewarded with a case of Molson’s. This is to show that the right creative incentives can have a positive effect.

2)This solution showed the author that the right creative incentives can have a positive effect, particularly on employee job performance. The creative incentive is a source of motivation for large numbers of individuals. Knowing this has allowed him to motivate its own employees, and to increase their productivity.

3)It’s important to motivate employees with something else besides money, because money is not enough. If working conditions don’t follow, the employee will get bored. It’s not motivating to work only for the money. The employee must to feel concerned to stay motivated, it should be rewarded with more responsibility, or social advantages for example.

4)Different perks :
- Bonus
- Insurance (health insurance, dental insurance, life insurance...)
- Pension plan
- Childcare services
- Reimbursement of tuition
- Reimbursement of transportation costs
- Reimbursement of sick leave
- Flexible working hours
- Restaurant tickets
- Sports hall in workplace
- Wage increase
- Housing assistance
- Time savings account
- Reduction of working time
- Preferential rates
- Assignment of a vehicle
- The provision of a telephone, or a laptop

Je vous remercie vraiment beaucoup si vous pouviez m'aider!

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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2015 18:44

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Réponse: Correction/devoir de gerondif, postée le 22-04-2015 à 17:23:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

1) The problem was that, in this large national trucking company, there were packages loading errors in the wrong trucks.

Bon, c'est une phrase un peu compactée car les erreurs ne vont pas dans les camions. De plus, dans un mot composé, le premier mot est souvent invariable donc, packages loading coince. Il faut développer la phrase; there were errors (mistakes) in the loading of packages in the wrong trucks. Et encore si on met errors, wrong est redondant. des erreurs de chargement de colis dans les mauvais camions ? non, soit des erreurs de chargements de colis dans les camions, soit des chargements de colis dans les mauvais camions)

Two people worked each truck, one responsible for checking the packages, and the other for loading the packages.
To avoid errors, they would have had to check both the packages.
both est mal placé, le mettre soit à la fin de la phrase, soit comme sujet, soit derrière had.

However, the working conditions were not favorable, and employees refused to do this “double check”
The solution found was the “Molson Beer” motivator : If a team of two employee(pluriel) achieved no miss-sorts for an week, they were rewarded with a case of Molson’s('s sort d'où ? c'est un pluriel (donc faux) ou le nom de la bière?). This is to show that the right creative incentives can have a positive effect.

2) This solution showed the author that the right creative incentives can have a positive effect, particularly on employee job performance. The creative incentive is a source of motivation for large numbers of individuals. Knowing this has allowed him to motivate its (the author est un être humain, donc mettre his ou her) own employees, and to increase their productivity.

3) It’s important to motivate employees with something else besides money, because money is not enough. If working conditions don’t follow, the employee will get bored. It’s not motivating to work only for (the) money. The employee must to(HORREUR!! pas de to derrière can, may must, will, shall, should....) feel concerned to stay motivated, it(pour vous, l'employé est un objet? Le patronat va vous adorer!! ) should be rewarded with more responsibility(au pluriel peut-être), or social advantages for example.

4) Different perks :
- Bonus
- Insurance (health insurance, dental insurance, life insurance...)
- Pension plan
- Childcare services
- Reimbursement of tuition
- Reimbursement of transportation costs
- Reimbursement of sick leave
- Flexible working hours
- Restaurant tickets
- Sports hall in workplace
- Wage increase
- Housing assistance
- Time savings account
- Reduction of working time
- Preferential rates
- Assignment of a vehicle
- The provision of a telephone, or a laptop

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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2015 18:26

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Réponse: Correction/devoir de trucs16, postée le 22-04-2015 à 17:34:05 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup à toi pour cette réponse complète et rapide.
Je vais pouvoir corriger tout ça !

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