Correction/ Corée du Sud
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Message de jeremy1511 posté le 09-03-2015 à 19:24:39 (S | E | F)
Salut Bonjour à tous !! 
Je prépare un dossier pour partir en échange en Corée du Sud dans le cadre de mon Master 1.
J'ai besoin d'aide pour corriger les fautes de ma lettre de motivation s'il vous plait !
Merci pour vos réponses.
Dear Sir,
I am a management student in final year of undergraduate studies at the University of xxx Business School. I am applying to leave in exchange in Korea to do my Master 1 Management des Hommes et des Organisations. I am interested in going to Korea University to study in the corporate management department.
I have chosen to study in Korea because the country has seduced me by its economy, culture, and geographical position. In fact, it is the thirteenth global power and the fifth Asian powerhouse. Indeed Korea is the worldwide leader in technologies, three examples: Samsung, LG, and Hyundai. By studying abroad I hope find a different culture compared to the one available in occidental area, and there I think find a different way of thinking, artistic culture, a different lifestyle. To my mind, this contrast between European and Asian culture is very rewarding. In addition, due to its geographic position between China and Japan, the country is at the heart of the Asian influence. The fact that the cost of living in Korea is not expensive, even in Seoul, has been decisive in my choice.
I want to leave for Korea University, because many classes are open on globalization and international business, like international business strategy, or else international marketing courses. Moreover, the university is the second-best University of the country, and the department of corporate management is recognized by companies for its excellent education.
In addition to propose courses in relation with my master with the largest offer, they are taught in English. I am aware that to integrate the labor market it is very important to distance yourself from other candidates if you want improve your chances to obtain the position. In my opinion, obtaining a fluent English as learning Korean is a real strategy to favor my professional insertion in a global company. Besides, I have started to take Korean courses with a Korean teacher to be ahead of myself if I realize my plans.
I will soon do an internship of 4 months at xxx, as marketing assistant from the direction to work on the new pricing strategy. During my interview for the position the recruiter was very interested by my project in Korea. In fact, the firm has many market shares in Asia, and Korea is a large potential market.
I am the mentor of a Korean Student from Korea University, she could given me some advice and information about her University. For example, she told me that the system of education is not the same than in France, there is less courses than in our country, but the work at home is more important, and teamwork is preferred. We have also spoken about the mentoring system, and about many different topics, like the accommodation on the campus.
I realize that if I go in Korea not everything will be easy, for example, sometimes we think we have a satisfactory English level to manage to be understood by local people, but with our accent it is not always easy. Moreover, when we have a project to leave abroad we tend to idealize our scheme. However, I take classes which assist students who have a project in other country and that help me in my approach, especially by mentioning cultural shock. I know a French student who left a few weeks ago to Yonsei University. Before, she has participated in a summer school in Seoul, and she told me about important differences between France and Korea. She gave me some advice like avoid to rub shoulders with French student to considerably improve my English and Korean understanding.
After my Master 1 Management des Hommes et des Organisations I want to continue my studies in Master 2 Marketing des services with a work-study contract. To at the end, become in charge of marketing studies for an international company, then, move to a position of products manager. I think studying abroad during one year in Korea is a significant experience particularly by additionating one year by alternating periods with school and company, to obtain a fascinating job.
In my opinion, living and studying in a foreign country, enable us to open our mind, cultivate our critical spirit on the world, that help us to grow up.
I hope I have convinced you about my important motivation and that my project has been prepared with great care.
Best regards,
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-03-2015 19:38
Message de jeremy1511 posté le 09-03-2015 à 19:24:39 (S | E | F)
Je prépare un dossier pour partir en échange en Corée du Sud dans le cadre de mon Master 1.
J'ai besoin d'aide pour corriger les fautes de ma lettre de motivation s'il vous plait !
Merci pour vos réponses.
Dear Sir,
I am a management student in final year of undergraduate studies at the University of xxx Business School. I am applying to leave in exchange in Korea to do my Master 1 Management des Hommes et des Organisations. I am interested in going to Korea University to study in the corporate management department.
I have chosen to study in Korea because the country has seduced me by its economy, culture, and geographical position. In fact, it is the thirteenth global power and the fifth Asian powerhouse. Indeed Korea is the worldwide leader in technologies, three examples: Samsung, LG, and Hyundai. By studying abroad I hope find a different culture compared to the one available in occidental area, and there I think find a different way of thinking, artistic culture, a different lifestyle. To my mind, this contrast between European and Asian culture is very rewarding. In addition, due to its geographic position between China and Japan, the country is at the heart of the Asian influence. The fact that the cost of living in Korea is not expensive, even in Seoul, has been decisive in my choice.
I want to leave for Korea University, because many classes are open on globalization and international business, like international business strategy, or else international marketing courses. Moreover, the university is the second-best University of the country, and the department of corporate management is recognized by companies for its excellent education.
In addition to propose courses in relation with my master with the largest offer, they are taught in English. I am aware that to integrate the labor market it is very important to distance yourself from other candidates if you want improve your chances to obtain the position. In my opinion, obtaining a fluent English as learning Korean is a real strategy to favor my professional insertion in a global company. Besides, I have started to take Korean courses with a Korean teacher to be ahead of myself if I realize my plans.
I will soon do an internship of 4 months at xxx, as marketing assistant from the direction to work on the new pricing strategy. During my interview for the position the recruiter was very interested by my project in Korea. In fact, the firm has many market shares in Asia, and Korea is a large potential market.
I am the mentor of a Korean Student from Korea University, she could given me some advice and information about her University. For example, she told me that the system of education is not the same than in France, there is less courses than in our country, but the work at home is more important, and teamwork is preferred. We have also spoken about the mentoring system, and about many different topics, like the accommodation on the campus.
I realize that if I go in Korea not everything will be easy, for example, sometimes we think we have a satisfactory English level to manage to be understood by local people, but with our accent it is not always easy. Moreover, when we have a project to leave abroad we tend to idealize our scheme. However, I take classes which assist students who have a project in other country and that help me in my approach, especially by mentioning cultural shock. I know a French student who left a few weeks ago to Yonsei University. Before, she has participated in a summer school in Seoul, and she told me about important differences between France and Korea. She gave me some advice like avoid to rub shoulders with French student to considerably improve my English and Korean understanding.
After my Master 1 Management des Hommes et des Organisations I want to continue my studies in Master 2 Marketing des services with a work-study contract. To at the end, become in charge of marketing studies for an international company, then, move to a position of products manager. I think studying abroad during one year in Korea is a significant experience particularly by additionating one year by alternating periods with school and company, to obtain a fascinating job.
In my opinion, living and studying in a foreign country, enable us to open our mind, cultivate our critical spirit on the world, that help us to grow up.
I hope I have convinced you about my important motivation and that my project has been prepared with great care.
Best regards,
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-03-2015 19:38
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