Aide/Oral Bac

Aide/Oral Bac
Message de milasosa posté le 03-01-2015 à 09:57:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois préparer mon oral de bac en anglais sur la notion "idea of progress" et j'aimerais savoir s'il est possible de corriger mes fautes et pourquoi pas m'indiquer s'il y a des mauvaises formules SVP s'il vous plait.
Voici l'intro

I’m going to talk about « idea of progress ». Progress is the idea that the world and the society can envolve in therms of sciences, technology, modernization, living conditions. We worked in the sequence « Brave new world ». The subject of this nocion is the progress : new process which can change the world like a creation of clones or genetically engineering babies. This nocion present that’s the progress will bring to the world with these consequences in the human condition (clones) and the drive of the perfect world with a perfect people (genetic engineering) but I show the limits of this progress and this consequences through differents documents. We ask us how progress change the world positively or unfavorably ?

Merci beaucoup.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-01-2015 09:21

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de milasosa, postée le 04-01-2015 à 09:56:05 (S | E)
Quelqu'un pourrait m'aider ?
Merci

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de bluestar, postée le 04-01-2015 à 11:56:28 (S | E)
Bonjour..
Vous avez quelques fautes d'orthographe: envolve, therms, nocion
Differents: On ne ajoute pas un s au pluriel des adjectifs en anglais . Le pluriel est le même que le singulier.
Il y a d'autres erreurs que quelqu'un d'autre peut vous indiquer parce que je dois partir maintenant .

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de milasosa, postée le 04-01-2015 à 14:12:25 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup j'espère que des personnes m'aideront

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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-01-2015 16:54

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de bluestar, postée le 04-01-2015 à 14:34:36 (S | E)
Bonjour..

I’m going to talk about « the idea of progress ». Progress is the idea that the world and the society can envolve in therms of sciences, technology, modernization, living conditions. We worked in the sequence (quelle est la signification ?) « Brave new world ». The subject of this nocion is the progress : new process (il faut le pluriel) which can change the world like a the creation of clones or genetically engineeringed babies. This nocion present ('suggests' serait une meilleure verbe ici) that’s the progress will bring to the world with these consequences in the human condition (clones) and the drive of(une autre preposition ici) the a perfect world with a perfect people (genetic engineering) but I show the limits of this progress and this (pluriel ici) consequences through differents documents. We ask us (en anglais "we wonder") how progress change(vous devez accord du verbe avec le sujet ce qui est singulier) the world positively or unfavorably ?

En général l'article défini ne'est pas utilisé devant noms abstraits
(par exemple "progress" pas "the progress"). AF a des informations de ce sujet dans les fichiers. Entrer 'l'article indéfini' dans la case jaune en haut à droite de votre écran

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de milasosa, postée le 04-01-2015 à 17:02:43 (S | E)
Merci pour votre aide !
I’m going to talk about « the idea of progress ». Progress is the idea that the world and the society can evolve in terms of science, technology, modernization, living conditions. We worked the notion « Brave new world ». The subject is progress : new methods which can change the world like the creation of clones or genetically engineered babies. This notion suggest that is progress will bring to the world these consequences in the human condition (clones) and the drive to a perfect world with perfect people (genetic engineering) but I show the limits of progress and these consequences through different documents. We wonder how progress changes the world positively or unfavorably ?

c'est bon est-ce correct comme cela?

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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-01-2015 18:43

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de bluestar, postée le 04-01-2015 à 17:58:40 (S | E)
Bonjour..

I’m going to talk about « the idea of progress ». Progress is the idea that the world and the society can evolve in terms of science, technology, modernization, living conditions. We worked ('considered' est mieux) the notion « Brave new world ». The subject is progress : new methods which can change the world like the creation of clones or genetically-engineered babies. This notion suggest(acccorde du verbe) that is progress will bring to the world these consequences in the human condition: clones and the drive to a perfect world with perfect people (genetic engineering) but I show the limits of progress and these consequences through different documents. We wonder how progress changes the world positively or unfavorably ?

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de here4u, postée le 04-01-2015 à 18:00:30 (S | E)
hello !

A few more mistakes :
- This notion suggest
- Then, your sentence is so long and clumsy that you're losing your readers ...
"This notion suggest that is progress will bring to the world these consequences??? in the human condition (the word order is wrong ! Subject + verb+ complements in the right order ...)?///(clones) andIt is also believed that science can lead ... the drive to a perfect world with perfect people (genetic engineering).
This is much too quick and superficial ... A lot of work to be done ...

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de milasosa, postée le 05-01-2015 à 20:22:37 (S | E)
Thank you so much !!
I’m going to talk about « the idea of progress ». Progress is the idea that the world and society can evolve in terms of science, technology, modernization, living conditions. We considered the notion « Brave new world ». The subject is progress : new methods which can change the world like the creation of clones or genetically engineered babies. This notion suggests that progress will bring these consequences in the human condition : (clones).It is also belived that science can lead to a perfect world with perfect people (genetic engineering) but I show the limits of progress and these consequences through different documents. We wonder how progress changes the world positively or unfavorably ?

Voilà ma correction, j'espère que ce sera juste.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-01-2015 18:22
Nouveau texte/développement = nouveau topic.

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de bluestar, postée le 06-01-2015 à 16:39:01 (S | E)
Bonjour...

I’m going to talk about « the idea of progress ». Progress is the idea that the world and society can evolve in terms of science, technology, modernization, living conditions. We considered the notion « Brave new world ». In the novel of that name, set in the year 2540, the state has seized control of powerful new technologies, including reproductive technologies, but the citizens of this new World State are cruel and lack human feeling. The subject is progress : In our own time we are promised new methods which can change the world like the creation of clones or genetically engineered babies. This notion suggests that progress will bring these consequences in the human condition : (clones).It is also belived that science can lead to a perfect world with perfect people (genetic engineering) but I intend to show the limits of progress and these consequences through different documents. We wonder how if progress changes the world positively or negatively unfavorably. ?
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J'ai essayé de faire vos idées plus claires en changeant votre texte un peu. Suggestions sont en vert. Bonne chance!

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Réponse: Aide/Oral Bac de milasosa, postée le 07-01-2015 à 18:57:03 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup !!

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