Oral Bac/Notion de Progrès
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Message de po posté le 30-12-2014 à 16:40:55 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai mon oral blanc d'anglais dans 2 semaines et je viens de taper ma présentation. J'aimerais donc, si possible, des avis et d'éventuelles corrections afin d'améliorer au mieux mon petit texte
Merci d'avance! (Pour rappel, l'exposé dure 5 minutes et je suis dans les temps, à ce niveau ça va!)
I'm going to talk about the notion of progress.
We can be ask: What are the different forms of progress and how do they express themselves in everyday life?
First of all, I would like to give a definition of progress. In the second time, I will present 3 examples of application in daily life.
I/
First, I define the notion of idea of progress.
The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. A technical, scientific and social advance contributes to making the world a better place.
It's the idea that the world can become increasingly better in terms of science, technology, modernization, liberty, democracy and quality of life.
The are several forms of progress :
- the social progress which is equivalent to the impact of advances on the society. For example quality of life, right of people, freedom, democracy...
- the scientific and technological progress : it's the idea that the sciences and new technologies enable to resolve some problems. The scientific progress relate more to medicine and biology whereas the technological progress is new technologies to slow down climate change, to advances in communication and automated production.
In order to illustrate this notion, I have chosen three documents that we studied in class.
II/
A (Social progress)
• The first document I have chosen is an audio-recorded extract from an interview with someone of Greenpeace. He speaks about the growing awareness of both consumers and corporations in terms of taking care of the environment. The journalist alludes to product purchase by young as jeans, junk food, cosmetics.
The speaker confirm that meat is one of the most important contributors to climate change in our diet. If one were to reduce meat consumption that would generally lower the carbon footprint.
This document invite us to think about the notion of sustainable development. At the moment, this notion is at the heart of the current.
On the one hand, we can say that it relate to the social progress because we have to reduce our carbon footprint. Therefore, we must think about an alternative of this problem and this have an impact on the society and change their quality of life.
B (Technological progress)
• The second document is a video extract from net news. It talk about Google Drones. Indeed, Google is developing drones to deliver packages. It testing drones in Australia to deliver anything from dog food to medicine. A drone looks like an airplane; so it's new technologies inspired by other technologies.
But, drones have to face challenges, such as teaching the drones to navigate around each other, ensuring safety, cutting noise. Another sky-high challenge: convincing regulators which severely limit commercial operations of drones.
Drones is a perfect example of new technologies which contributes to making the world better.
C (Scientific progress)
• The last example we will address is House, a series that we approached in class. It shows us the medical and scientific progress. For exemple, now, we can makes organ transplant and cure more disease through the research.
In conclusion, in the 21st century, the progress is at the center of the life. We can see some applications of the progress in daily life; as the sustainable development for the social progress, the drones for the technological progress and the organ transplant for the scientific progress.
Merci pour vos remarques
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2014 16:41
Message de po posté le 30-12-2014 à 16:40:55 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai mon oral blanc d'anglais dans 2 semaines et je viens de taper ma présentation. J'aimerais donc, si possible, des avis et d'éventuelles corrections afin d'améliorer au mieux mon petit texte
Merci d'avance! (Pour rappel, l'exposé dure 5 minutes et je suis dans les temps, à ce niveau ça va!)I'm going to talk about the notion of progress.
We can be ask: What are the different forms of progress and how do they express themselves in everyday life?
First of all, I would like to give a definition of progress. In the second time, I will present 3 examples of application in daily life.
I/
First, I define the notion of idea of progress.
The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. A technical, scientific and social advance contributes to making the world a better place.
It's the idea that the world can become increasingly better in terms of science, technology, modernization, liberty, democracy and quality of life.
The are several forms of progress :
- the social progress which is equivalent to the impact of advances on the society. For example quality of life, right of people, freedom, democracy...
- the scientific and technological progress : it's the idea that the sciences and new technologies enable to resolve some problems. The scientific progress relate more to medicine and biology whereas the technological progress is new technologies to slow down climate change, to advances in communication and automated production.
In order to illustrate this notion, I have chosen three documents that we studied in class.
II/
A (Social progress)
• The first document I have chosen is an audio-recorded extract from an interview with someone of Greenpeace. He speaks about the growing awareness of both consumers and corporations in terms of taking care of the environment. The journalist alludes to product purchase by young as jeans, junk food, cosmetics.
The speaker confirm that meat is one of the most important contributors to climate change in our diet. If one were to reduce meat consumption that would generally lower the carbon footprint.
This document invite us to think about the notion of sustainable development. At the moment, this notion is at the heart of the current.
On the one hand, we can say that it relate to the social progress because we have to reduce our carbon footprint. Therefore, we must think about an alternative of this problem and this have an impact on the society and change their quality of life.
B (Technological progress)
• The second document is a video extract from net news. It talk about Google Drones. Indeed, Google is developing drones to deliver packages. It testing drones in Australia to deliver anything from dog food to medicine. A drone looks like an airplane; so it's new technologies inspired by other technologies.
But, drones have to face challenges, such as teaching the drones to navigate around each other, ensuring safety, cutting noise. Another sky-high challenge: convincing regulators which severely limit commercial operations of drones.
Drones is a perfect example of new technologies which contributes to making the world better.
C (Scientific progress)
• The last example we will address is House, a series that we approached in class. It shows us the medical and scientific progress. For exemple, now, we can makes organ transplant and cure more disease through the research.
In conclusion, in the 21st century, the progress is at the center of the life. We can see some applications of the progress in daily life; as the sustainable development for the social progress, the drones for the technological progress and the organ transplant for the scientific progress.
Merci pour vos remarques
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2014 16:41
Réponse: Oral Bac/Notion de Progrès de po, postée le 01-01-2015 à 15:55:32 (S | E)
Someone..? Ça m'aiderait vraiment d'avoir des avis/corrections...
Réponse: Oral Bac/Notion de Progrès de gerondif, postée le 01-01-2015 à 16:31:17 (S | E)
Bonjour,
les deux erreurs les plus voyantes: l'abus de "the" devant une idée générale et les s du présent simple troisième personne.
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
I'm going to talk about the notion of progress.
We can be ask: What are the different forms of progress and how do they express themselves in everyday life?
First of all, I would like to give a definition of progress. In the second time(maladroit), I will present 3 examples of application in daily life.
I/
First, I define the notion of idea of progress.
The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. A technical, scientific and social advance contributes to making the world a better place.
It's the idea that the world can become increasingly better in terms of science, technology, modernization, liberty, democracy and quality of life.
The are several forms of progress :
- the social progress which is equivalent to the impact of advances on the society. For example quality of life, right of people, freedom, democracy...
- the scientific and technological progress : it's the idea that the sciences and new technologies enable people to resolve some problems. The scientific progress relate(s) more to medicine and biology whereas the technological progress is new technologies to slow down climate change, to advances(infinitf? alors pas de s; nom commun pluriel ? alors manque un verbe) in communication and automated production.
In order to illustrate this notion, I have chosen three documents that we studied in class.
II/
A (Social progress)
• The first document I have chosen is an audio-recorded extract from an interview with someone of(plutôt from) Greenpeace. He speaks about the growing awareness of both consumers and corporations in terms of taking care of the environment. The journalist alludes to product purchase by young people such as jeans, junk food, cosmetics.
The speaker confirm that meat is one of the most important contributors to climate change in our diet. If one were to reduce meat consumption that would generally lower the carbon footprint.
This document invite us to think about the notion of sustainable development. At the moment, this notion is at the heart of the current.(je ne connais pas l'expression mais si elle vient de votre cous, alors c'est bon)
On the one hand, we can say that it relate to the social progress because we have to reduce our carbon footprint. Therefore, we must think about an alternative of(to) this problem and this have an impact on the society and change their(à qui ? qui sont ces propriétaires au pluriel) quality of life.
B (Technological progress)
• The second document is a video extract from net news. It talk(le verbe être irait mieux, un document ne cause pas d'habitude) about Google Drones. Indeed, Google is developing drones to deliver packages. It testing(soit présent simple, soit is devant un ing!) drones in Australia to deliver anything from dog food to medicine. A drone looks like an airplane; so it's new technologies inspired by other technologies.
But, drones have to face challenges, (la construction ne va pas , ce ne sont pas les drônes qui ont à faire face à des problème comme enseigner aux drônes à voler.... les drônes ne vontpas se transformer en profs) such as teaching the drones to navigate around each other, ensuring safety, cutting noise. Another sky-high challenge: convincing regulators which(regulators, êtres humains, ou regulations, lois, donc objets ? c'est pour le choix du relatif) severely limit commercial operations of drones.
Drones is (sujet pluriel, verbe singulier...) a perfect example of new technologies which contributes(pluriel) to making the world better.
C (Scientific progress)
• The last example we will address(choix du verbe?) is House, a series that we approached in class. It shows us the medical and scientific progress. For exemple, now, we can makes(infinitif) organ transplant and cure more disease(pluriel derrière more) through the research.
In conclusion, in the 21st century, the progress is at the center of the life. We can see some applications of the progress in daily life; as (as tout seul paraît bizarre)the sustainable development for the social progress, the drones for the technological progress and the organ transplant for the scientific progress.(ce paragraphe fait répétition plus que conclusion )
Réponse: Oral Bac/Notion de Progrès de po, postée le 01-01-2015 à 17:46:57 (S | E)
Merci à toi pour toutes ces corrections. J'ai essayé de faire au mieux pour enlever quelques "the". En revanche, pour la conclusion, je crois qu'il faut justement redire en 2/3 mots ce que l'on a montré dans notre exposé en répondant à la problématique...
J'espère que c'est ce qui est attendu lors de l'oral.
Merci encore
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-01-2015 22:21
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