Oral/ myths and heroes
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Message de romain774 posté le 01-11-2014 à 13:05:34 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je voulais savoir juste s'il y avait des erreurs;je suis nul en anglais je vous préviens je suis peut-être complètement hors sujet; merci de m'aider !
Introduction :
We studied the theme of “Myths and Heroes”. First of all I would like to give a definition of heroes and myths. A hero is someone who helps people in need and he make sacrificies for the sake of others. A myth refers to a story of wonderful events whose protagonists are supernatural character. We analysed the trailer of movie “Saving Private Ryan” by Steven Spielberg wich tells story of four brothers during World War II in Normandy and the trailer of movie “First blood” is an american action film realized by Ted Kotcheff wich is set during the Vietnam War. Moreover we read an autobiography of Tim O'brien is an american writer, he tells his experience during the Vietnam War.
The documents that we studied in class show us that heroes are real or imaginary. We asked ourselves if we need heroes in the life.
In a first part, I will talk about need imaginary heroes .Then in second a part, I will present the need real heroes in the world .
First of all, a movie by Ted Kotcheff with the character Rambo during Vietnam War is presented as a “machine”. He is more a war animal than a human being but it is only an imaginary character who make us dream because he supernatural . Furthermore the movie is not realistic because he is alone against all but it allows us to dream and to reassure the population thanks to superheroes, we feel protecting.
Finally, an autobiography “The thing they carried” by Tim O'brien. The scene takes place in the United States in the 1960 and Tim works in a meat-making factory. He tells his experience of the Vietnam War and the impact of this war on the American soldiers . Moreover the trailer “Saving Private Ryan”
Conclusion :
In conclusion, we can say that the fictitious heroes allow us to dream and to amuse for example Rambo the movie character that all the world would like to be while the real heroes we need it every day for instance we need soldiers during the wars and fire brigades when we need help, they are our heroes.
We can wonder if everyone can become a hero.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-11-2014 12:26
Message de romain774 posté le 01-11-2014 à 13:05:34 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je voulais savoir juste s'il y avait des erreurs;
Introduction :
We studied the theme of “Myths and Heroes”. First of all I would like to give a definition of heroes and myths. A hero is someone who helps people in need and he make sacrificies for the sake of others. A myth refers to a story of wonderful events whose protagonists are supernatural character. We analysed the trailer of movie “Saving Private Ryan” by Steven Spielberg wich tells story of four brothers during World War II in Normandy and the trailer of movie “First blood” is an american action film realized by Ted Kotcheff wich is set during the Vietnam War. Moreover we read an autobiography of Tim O'brien is an american writer, he tells his experience during the Vietnam War.
The documents that we studied in class show us that heroes are real or imaginary. We asked ourselves if we need heroes in the life.
In a first part, I will talk about need imaginary heroes .Then in second a part, I will present the need real heroes in the world .
First of all, a movie by Ted Kotcheff with the character Rambo during Vietnam War is presented as a “machine”. He is more a war animal than a human being but it is only an imaginary character who make us dream because he supernatural . Furthermore the movie is not realistic because he is alone against all but it allows us to dream and to reassure the population thanks to superheroes, we feel protecting.
Finally, an autobiography “The thing they carried” by Tim O'brien. The scene takes place in the United States in the 1960 and Tim works in a meat-making factory. He tells his experience of the Vietnam War and the impact of this war on the American soldiers . Moreover the trailer “Saving Private Ryan”
Conclusion :
In conclusion, we can say that the fictitious heroes allow us to dream and to amuse for example Rambo the movie character that all the world would like to be while the real heroes we need it every day for instance we need soldiers during the wars and fire brigades when we need help, they are our heroes.
We can wonder if everyone can become a hero.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-11-2014 12:26
Réponse: Oral/ myths and heroes de tdu6300, postée le 02-11-2014 à 10:53:03 (S | E)
Bonjour Romain774
Bleu = Erreurs ou à revoir
Vert = Mes propositions
X ou XXX = Ponctuation manquante ou mot(s) manquant(s)
(Numéro) = envoi en bas de page
Introduction :
We studied the theme of “Myths and Heroes”. First of all I would like to give a definition of heroes and myths. A hero is someone who helps people in need and he(1) make(2) sacrificies(3) for the sake of others. A myth refers to a story of wonderful events whose protagonists are supernatural character. We analysed(3) the trailer of movie “Saving Private Ryan” by Steven Spielberg wich(3) tells story of four brothers during World War II in Normandy and the trailer of movie “First blood” XXX is an american(4) action film realized by Ted Kotcheff wich(3) is set during the Vietnam War. Moreover(5) we read an autobiography of Tim O'brien XXX is an american(4) writer, he tells his experience during the Vietnam War.
The documents that(6) we studied in class show us that heroes are real or imaginary. We asked ourselves if we need heroes in the(7) life.
In a first part, I will talk about XXX need XXX imaginary heroes .Then in XXX second a(8) part, I will present the need XXX real heroes in the world .
First of all, a(9) movie by Ted KotcheffX with(10) the character RamboX during Vietnam WarX is presented as a “machine”. He is more a war animal than a human being but it is only an imaginary character who make(2) us dream because he XXX supernatural . Furthermore the movie is not realistic because he is alone against all(11) but it allows us to dream and to reassure the populationX thanks to superheroes, we feel protecting.
Finally, an autobiography “The thing they carried” by Tim O'brien. The scene takes place in the United States in the 1960 and Tim works in a meat-making(12) factory. He tells his experience of the Vietnam War and the impact of this war on the American soldiers .(13) Moreover the trailer “Saving Private Ryan” (14)
Conclusion :
In conclusion, we can say that the fictitious heroes allow us to dream and to amuse(15) for example Rambo the movie character that all the world would like to be while the real heroes we need it(16) every dayX for instance we need soldiers during the wars and fire brigades when we need help, they are our heroes.
We can wonder if everyone can become a hero.
(1) Il n’est pas nécessaire de repeater le sujet ici. Le sujet de verbe « to make » est le même que celui du verbe « to help ».
(2) 3ème personne du singulier du present simple
(3) Orthographe
(4) Orthographe relative aux pays et nationalités: Lien internet
(5) Moreover me semble un peu fort ici. Reformulez votre phrase avec un autre mot. J’en vois un de 4 lettres qui commence par « a » et que vous devrez plcer ailleurs dans la phrase.
(6) Il n’est pas nécessaire de placer ce mot ici. En anglais, il peut être sous-entendu. Il alourdit la phrase.
(7) Lien internet
(8) Remplacez les XXX qui se trouve au début de la phrase par ce mot et le début de votre phrase sera correct.
(9) Maintenant vous parlez d’un film précis, donc il faut un article « défini »
(10) Relisez votre phrase. Si vous laissez « with » ici, vous devez reconstruire votre phrase. Si vous l’enlevez et que vous travaillez sur la ponctuation (les X) alors elle deviendra correcte.
(11) Remplacez « all » par un autre mot ou un groupe de mot. Bref, revoyez la fin de votre phrase.
(12) « making » ne me semble pas nécessaire. Que voulez-vous dire ? S’agit-il d’un abattoir, d’une usine de transformation de viande, en saucisses ou en « corned-beef » par exemple ?
(13) Pas d’espace entre la fin du mot et le point final.
(14) Il manque un bout de votre texte ici.
(15) Revoyez ce passage. Peut-ête qu’il ne manque qu’un tout petit mot de deux lettres ou qu’il faut le modifier plus profondément.
(16) Construction. L’ordre des mots n’est pas bon.
Il reste pas mal de travail. J'ai essayé de vous orienter au mieux sans vous donner les réponses.
A vous de jouer pour une deuxième version améliorée.
Vous avez cherché à vous exprimer. C'est bien.
A bientôt.
Réponse: Oral/ myths and heroes de romain774, postée le 02-11-2014 à 20:37:40 (S | E)
Merci de votre aide ;je ne vois vraiment pas ce qu'il faut mettre après "First Blood" les XXX.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-11-2014 21:38
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