Aide /question économique

Aide /question économique
Message de etudiante posté le 18-10-2014 à 12:00:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
j'ai rédigé une réponse à la question suivante : "les effets de la crise de 2008 sur le commerce international"
je voulais avoir votre aide concernant les fautes que j'ai pu commettre dans la réponse à cette question.
Je vous remercie de votre aide

first of all due to global financial crisis, companies have had a fall of demand because consumer are in debt and they can not consume products.
consequently international trade has dropped.
In addition international trade meet some problems because with international concurrency, the local producer is competed with
the low cost foreign producer.
Therefore for local producer in order to survive will demand to apply protectionism for ensure him market share.
For conclude the global financial crisis has a negative issue upon international trade.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-10-2014 16:44
Bleu enlevé.

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Réponse: Aide /question économique de here4u, postée le 18-10-2014 à 12:22:52 (S | E)
Hello !

I've changed the colour of your text (as blue is for : wrong ! ) I hope not everything is !
blue = wrong
XXX = missing elements
YYY = maladroit (à reprendre)

first of all due to XXX global financial crisis, companies have had a fall of demand because consumer are in debt and they can not consume products.
consequently, international trade has dropped.

In addition international trade meet some problems because with international concurrency, the local producer is competed withnot clear at all ...)
the low cost foreign producer. ???? doesn't make sense ...
Therefore for local producer in order to survive will demand to apply protectionism for ensure him market share.(phrase à revoir totalement)
For conclude the global financial crisis has a negative issue upon XXX international trade.
Bon courage !

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Réponse: Aide /question économique de etudiante, postée le 19-10-2014 à 15:00:04 (S | E)
Thanks for your help!!

I tried to correct.
Is it clear? Are there still mistakes?

First of all due to the global financial crisis, companies have had a falling demand because consumers are in debt and they can not consume products.
Consequently, international trade has dropped.

In addition international trade is confronted some problems because with international trade competition, local producers in each country can be found in competition with foreign producers than are more attractive in terms price.

Therefore in order to survive, producers will request the application of protectionism so as to ensure their market share.
As we can see with the example of CAP ( common policy agricultural) which distorts market rules.
Indeed The CAP is forms of indirect protectionism.

For conclude the global financial crisis has a negative issue upon the international trade.

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Réponse: Aide /question économique de tdu6300, postée le 20-10-2014 à 04:54:21 (S | E)
Hello
I think that unfortunately, you did not understand here4u's remarks properly. So I'll try to be clearer, which will not be easy.
Blue = Error or verification needed
Green = My propositions
X or XXX = Missing word (One or more), space or punctuation
(Digit) = Footnote

First of all due to the global financial crisis, companies have had XXX a falling demand (1) because consumers are in debt and they can not (2) consume (3) products.
Consequently, international trade has dropped.

In additionX (Punctuation) international trade is confronted XXX some problems because with international trade competition, local producers in each country can be found in competition with foreign producers than are more attractive in terms XXX price.(4)

Therefore in order to survive, producers will request the application of protectionism so as to ensure their market share.
As we can see with the example of CAP ( common policy agricultural)(Comme le tiercé, dans le désordre ça rapporte moins.) which distorts market rules.
Indeed The CAP is XXX forms of indirect protectionism.

For (5) concludeX (Punctuation) the global financial crisis has a negative issue(This word is not the correct one in this context) upon the international trade.

(1) Je ne suis pas sûr,xxxxxxxxxxxxx

(2) Lien internet


(3) Pour éviter la répétition « consumers » puis « consume » vous pouvez choisir un autre verbe.
(4) Reprenons votre phrase :
In additionX (Punctuation) international trade is confronted XXX some problems because with international trade competition, local producers in each country can be found in competition with foreign producers than are more attractive in terms XXX price. Dans cette phrase, est-il besoin d’utiliser deux fois International trade? En supprimer un permet d’alléger la phrase, et d’introduire immédiatement les producteurs locaux. Essayez au maximum de simplifier vos phrases en général, et celle-ci en particulier. Prenez du recul et relisez-la. Vous devez pouvoir l’améliorer.
(5) For est incorrect. Il faut le remplacer par un autre mot.

Vous avez déjà corrigé quelques erreurs. Continuez et ne vous découragez pas, car même si les erreurs vous semblent nombreuses, vous êtes sur la bonne voie.
En espérant vous aider.
Cordialement

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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-10-2014 08:11
Désolée mais votre correction 1) n'était pas fiable, je l'ai effacée. Message interne envoyé.

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Réponse: Aide /question économique de etudiante, postée le 24-10-2014 à 12:18:16 (S | E)
Bonjour

Pardon je n'avais pas compris.

Merci pour votre aide, ainsi Que pour la précision de votre correction.

Je vais de-nouveau retravailler cela, j'espère y arriver

Merci encore pour tous

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