Oral/ Superhéro
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Message de redwane0307 posté le 21-09-2014 à 15:35:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe à l'oral prochainement et je voudrais savoir si mon texte est correct.
Merci pour votre aide.
"The superheroes are extraordinary people who are always there to save the world. Mostly, they have extraordinary powers to fight against the bad guys such as superhuman strength and the ability to fly, to throw fire, water of superman, multiply or to take a different form such as Hulk when he's angry. Some fictional characters can move very quickly such as Flash an American superhero comic.
Most of the time superheroes have a dual identity, that of a normal person and that of superhero; that is secret allowing the superhero protect his family and friends. The superheroes must maintain his secret identity with often wear a mask. The super hero often has a colorful costume, very striking and an emblem usually on the chest to be able to easily recognize.
The superhero is kind and very often must save the world and facing a rival who is wicked. Superheroes are popular because people recognize themselves in them. We are dealing with a trivial and insignificant to be in real life which becomes beautiful and becomes the defender against evil and staying in the shade with his double identity."
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-09-2014 17:45
Message de redwane0307 posté le 21-09-2014 à 15:35:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe à l'oral prochainement et je voudrais savoir si mon texte est correct.
Merci pour votre aide.
"The superheroes are extraordinary people who are always there to save the world. Mostly, they have extraordinary powers to fight against the bad guys such as superhuman strength and the ability to fly, to throw fire, water of superman, multiply or to take a different form such as Hulk when he's angry. Some fictional characters can move very quickly such as Flash an American superhero comic.
Most of the time superheroes have a dual identity, that of a normal person and that of superhero; that is secret allowing the superhero protect his family and friends. The superheroes must maintain his secret identity with often wear a mask. The super hero often has a colorful costume, very striking and an emblem usually on the chest to be able to easily recognize.
The superhero is kind and very often must save the world and facing a rival who is wicked. Superheroes are popular because people recognize themselves in them. We are dealing with a trivial and insignificant to be in real life which becomes beautiful and becomes the defender against evil and staying in the shade with his double identity."
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-09-2014 17:45
Réponse: Oral/ Superhéro de tdu6300, postée le 22-09-2014 à 12:52:31 (S | E)
Hello,
bleu = incorrect; vert = suggestion; XXX = mot(s) manquant(s)
"The (Voir les cours sur les articles indéfinis) superheroes are extraordinary people who are always there to save the world. Mostly, (Le mot est soit mal placé, soit inutile) they have extraordinary powers to fight against the bad guys such as superhuman strength and (“and” suggère que les pouvoirs s’additionnent. “or” véhicule l’idée que les pouvoirs peuvet être séparés ou ensemble) the ability to fly, to throw fire, water of superman, (What do you mean?) multiply or to take a different form such as Hulk when he's angry. Some fictional characters can move very quickly (On peut aussi employer un autre mot de 4 lettres commençant par f) such as Flash an American superhero comic. (comic signifie qu'il est drole. Il manque une lettre pour exprimer votre idée correctement. De plus, son placement dans la phrase est incorrect.)
Most of the time superheroes have a dual identity, that of a normal person and that of (XXX) superhero; that is secret allowing the superhero (XXX) protect his family and friends (Compréhensible mais incorrect ou maladroit. Soit vous enlevez le point virgule, vous remplacez that par un autre pronom relatif, puis vous modifiez les temps (allowing et protect) Soit "secret" est un nom, auquel cas il lui manque un article défini; "allowing" peut alors garder sa forme. En revanche, dans tous les cas il manque un mot devant "protect"). The superheroes must maintain (Vocabulaire : un autre verbe commençant par k) his (il y a plusieurs superheros n’est-ce pas ?) secret identity (Corriger la place des mots) with (with ???) often wear a mask. The super hero often has a colorful costume, very striking (Placement des mots) and an emblem usually on the chest to be able to easily recognize (Revoir la construction : qui doit reconnaître? Qui doit être reconnu?).
The superhero is kind and very often must save the world and facing (temps) a rival who is wicked (Utiliser simplement l’adjectif en respectant son placement serait plus adroit) . Superheroes are popular because people recognize themselves in them (Vocabulaire; Utiliser un autre verbe commençant par "i" serait plus adapté). We are dealing with a trivial and insignificant to be in real life which becomes beautiful and becomes the defender against evil and staying in the shade with his double identity. (Pas clair)"
Il reste du travail, mais dans l’ensemble, on comprend ce que vous cherchez à exprimer. Il y a deux erreurs de base qui reviennent ; les articles indéfinis ou pluriels, et le placement des adjectifs/mots.
Essayez de faire des phrases courtes. Elles sont plus faciles à construire. Plus les phrases sont longues et plus elles sont susceptibles de contenir des erreurs, donc être maladroites voire difficiles à comprendre.
Bel effort d’expression malgré tout. Continuez.
En espérant vous être utile.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-09-2014 14:46
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