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Message de berlyn posté le 09-05-2014 à 11:11:21 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
je passe bientôt mon oral d'anglais et j'aimerais bien qu'on me corrige les fautes et qu'on me donne un avis sur ce que j'ai fait s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
INTRO : I am going to talk about locations and forms of power. First of alll, I would like to give a definition of this word. Even if it has got several definitions, we are going to talk about it as a group having great control over others ans as the ability of State to exercise control. It refers to a group of persons who decide another to have to be banished from the society. I would like to talk about the death penalty in America. In a country where during several centuries the citizens fought to assert their rights and their freedom, can we criticize the existence of some rights?
1ERE PARTIE : Long used in the world, the death penalty had a lot of success has been very effective because it solved definitively the problem of big criminals and recidivists. Nowadays, after some reflection, almost all countries of the world have decided to abolish this practice because it brings more drawbacks than advantages. The USA is among the few countries that have retained it even if the reviews are mixed. Some Americains think that the death penalty is a right because it allows victims' families to be avenged in the case of serious crimes. A judge of Pennsylvania explained when questioned about the subject, but many problems come to be added because according to him innocents were often condemned to death before DNA. Other Americans think that it’s preferable and more human to kill somebody rather than to lock him up for life behind bars even if there are other means of punishment, because it makes room in prisons for other criminals. The most surprising are that despite the fact that we know that innocents are killed, the majority of the Americans are for the death penalty, and aspire what is more it is acceptable to lose some innocents if it can dissuade the other people to commit crimes.
"TRANSITION" : The number of people sentenced to death varies from a State to another one, but who can explain these differences?
2EME PARTIE : Texas, with its culture of the Wild West, has more people sentenced to death. The same culture which, paradoxically with the death penalty which aims at the crimes, gave the right to the Americans to carry weapons. A poster which I see in a book puts prominently the fact that the carrying of firearms is even authorized encouraged by the law, the USA is a nation of guns and this right deeply written in everyone’s mind. This right is almost acquired by all because we just need to be 18 haven’t committed felonies, in Colorado for example, to be able to carry a gun. Without a permit, an adult can possess all the firearms he wishes provided that they are visible on him. Studies showed that there are many more crimes by gunowners in the countries where the carrying of guns is used that in the countries where it’s forbidden. Dangers associated with this right are many because it’s sensible to allow to protect itself while it’is used most of the time to settle his account. A song that I studied to the middle school relates the story of a boy who commits a murder by firearm and reject his responsibilities saying that he is too young, the father denies in his turn the responsibility saying that he didn’t teach his son how to handle a gun. Media mans, producers of violent films etc. are accused one after the other, but finally the real guilty is the State itself which authorizes the carrying of guns and keeps it rooted in its culture?
CONCLUSION : In conclusion, it would seem that some rights have more drawbacks than advantages, and although they are deeply rooted in the culture of a country it would be necessary to think of modifying them or even to abolish them
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2014 12:21
Message de berlyn posté le 09-05-2014 à 11:11:21 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
je passe bientôt mon oral d'anglais et j'aimerais bien qu'on me corrige les fautes et qu'on me donne un avis sur ce que j'ai fait s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
INTRO : I am going to talk about locations and forms of power. First of alll, I would like to give a definition of this word. Even if it has got several definitions, we are going to talk about it as a group having great control over others ans as the ability of State to exercise control. It refers to a group of persons who decide another to have to be banished from the society. I would like to talk about the death penalty in America. In a country where during several centuries the citizens fought to assert their rights and their freedom, can we criticize the existence of some rights?
1ERE PARTIE : Long used in the world, the death penalty had a lot of success has been very effective because it solved definitively the problem of big criminals and recidivists. Nowadays, after some reflection, almost all countries of the world have decided to abolish this practice because it brings more drawbacks than advantages. The USA is among the few countries that have retained it even if the reviews are mixed. Some Americains think that the death penalty is a right because it allows victims' families to be avenged in the case of serious crimes. A judge of Pennsylvania explained when questioned about the subject, but many problems come to be added because according to him innocents were often condemned to death before DNA. Other Americans think that it’s preferable and more human to kill somebody rather than to lock him up for life behind bars even if there are other means of punishment, because it makes room in prisons for other criminals. The most surprising are that despite the fact that we know that innocents are killed, the majority of the Americans are for the death penalty, and aspire what is more it is acceptable to lose some innocents if it can dissuade the other people to commit crimes.
"TRANSITION" : The number of people sentenced to death varies from a State to another one, but who can explain these differences?
2EME PARTIE : Texas, with its culture of the Wild West, has more people sentenced to death. The same culture which, paradoxically with the death penalty which aims at the crimes, gave the right to the Americans to carry weapons. A poster which I see in a book puts prominently the fact that the carrying of firearms is even authorized encouraged by the law, the USA is a nation of guns and this right deeply written in everyone’s mind. This right is almost acquired by all because we just need to be 18 haven’t committed felonies, in Colorado for example, to be able to carry a gun. Without a permit, an adult can possess all the firearms he wishes provided that they are visible on him. Studies showed that there are many more crimes by gunowners in the countries where the carrying of guns is used that in the countries where it’s forbidden. Dangers associated with this right are many because it’s sensible to allow to protect itself while it’is used most of the time to settle his account. A song that I studied to the middle school relates the story of a boy who commits a murder by firearm and reject his responsibilities saying that he is too young, the father denies in his turn the responsibility saying that he didn’t teach his son how to handle a gun. Media mans, producers of violent films etc. are accused one after the other, but finally the real guilty is the State itself which authorizes the carrying of guns and keeps it rooted in its culture?
CONCLUSION : In conclusion, it would seem that some rights have more drawbacks than advantages, and although they are deeply rooted in the culture of a country it would be necessary to think of modifying them or even to abolish them
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-05-2014 12:21
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