Présentation/The return
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Message de matthieu15 posté le 07-04-2014 à 21:00:26 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,
je dois présenter une nouvelle jeudi en anglais, en présentant les personnages, l'intrigue et l'histoire. pourriez-vous s'il vous plait m'aider à corriger mes erreurs en anglais?
En vous remerciant par avance de votre précieuse aide,
Matthieu
Voici ma présentation :
The story I have chosen to present you is « The return » by Fernando Sorrentino, an Argentine writter born in Buenos Aires in 1942. The story takes place in the 60’s. It began in 1965. At that time the narrator (who’s a homodiegetic narrator) was 23 years old. He was studying to become a high school language and literature teacher. And one day, he saw from the window of his apartment a beggar, who was trying to say something to a neighbour, Mr Don Cesareo. Mr Don Cesareo said him to didn’t bother him. But the beggar climb the wall of the old man. Mr Don Cesareo shoved him and killed him accidently. He came back home as if nothing had happened and the police didn’t find the killer. The narrator said nothing because it hadn't been Don Cesareo’s intention to kill the panhandler. Then, 4 years after, when the narrator had his degree in the teaching of the Spanish language and literature, something bizarre happened. He saw the panhandler entering in the house of Adriana, his ex girlfriend. At that time she was married and she gave birth to a boy on that day. But when the narrator came in Andriana’s house, he disappeared. He thought that he returned to be reincarnated in Adriana's child, Gustavo. Later, in 1979, the narrator saw a last weird thing. Gustavo was playing with stones on a terrace next to don cesareo’s garden and some stones fell in the garden of the old man. When he heard this, he tried to descend some steps in his garden but slip and shattered his skull on the first step. After that, the narrator saw the panhandler leave Adriana’s house and he disappeared. And from that day forward, Gustavo went missing. Finally, The narrator never had the heart to tell them to give it up.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-04-2014 21:29
Message de matthieu15 posté le 07-04-2014 à 21:00:26 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,
je dois présenter une nouvelle jeudi en anglais, en présentant les personnages, l'intrigue et l'histoire. pourriez-vous s'il vous plait m'aider à corriger mes erreurs en anglais?
En vous remerciant par avance de votre précieuse aide,
Matthieu
Voici ma présentation :
The story I have chosen to present you is « The return » by Fernando Sorrentino, an Argentine writter born in Buenos Aires in 1942. The story takes place in the 60’s. It began in 1965. At that time the narrator (who’s a homodiegetic narrator) was 23 years old. He was studying to become a high school language and literature teacher. And one day, he saw from the window of his apartment a beggar, who was trying to say something to a neighbour, Mr Don Cesareo. Mr Don Cesareo said him to didn’t bother him. But the beggar climb the wall of the old man. Mr Don Cesareo shoved him and killed him accidently. He came back home as if nothing had happened and the police didn’t find the killer. The narrator said nothing because it hadn't been Don Cesareo’s intention to kill the panhandler. Then, 4 years after, when the narrator had his degree in the teaching of the Spanish language and literature, something bizarre happened. He saw the panhandler entering in the house of Adriana, his ex girlfriend. At that time she was married and she gave birth to a boy on that day. But when the narrator came in Andriana’s house, he disappeared. He thought that he returned to be reincarnated in Adriana's child, Gustavo. Later, in 1979, the narrator saw a last weird thing. Gustavo was playing with stones on a terrace next to don cesareo’s garden and some stones fell in the garden of the old man. When he heard this, he tried to descend some steps in his garden but slip and shattered his skull on the first step. After that, the narrator saw the panhandler leave Adriana’s house and he disappeared. And from that day forward, Gustavo went missing. Finally, The narrator never had the heart to tell them to give it up.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-04-2014 21:29
Réponse: Présentation/The return de bluduck2, postée le 08-04-2014 à 18:45:13 (S | E)
Hello matthieu 15!
Quelques remarques
ligne 1 (orth )to write , a writer
ligne 3 Retenez :to tell s;o; sthg /to say sthg to s.o.
construction de "ne pas" ne pas séparer "to" et le verbe
ligne 4 to climb: simple past et ligne 10 :to slip:simple past
ligne 5 Préferez "later" à "after"
ligne 7 Revoyez le temps de "to return"
ligne 7 Précisez qui est " he" (the beggar)
ligne8 Je suggère le cas possessif pour "le jardin du vieil homme"
ligne 9 voc: cherchez le verbe "descendre" dans le dictionnaire
ligne 10 :From that day ON
ligne 10 :précisez ce à quoi les parents devaient renoncer(par exemple :looking for the child" / "searching" )
I hope this helps !!Bluduck2
Réponse: Présentation/The return de matthieu15, postée le 08-04-2014 à 21:50:22 (S | E)
Tout d'abord, merci beaucoup de votre aide attentive bluduck2
Voici mon texte corrigé :
Pensez vous que cela est assez complet pour la présentation d'une nouvelle ?
The story I have chosen to present you is « The return » by Fernando Sorrentino, an Argentine writer born in Buenos Aires in 1942. The story takes place in the 60’s. It began in 1965. At that time the narrator (who’s a homodiegetic narrator) was 23 years old. He was studying to become a high school language and literature teacher. And one day, he saw from the window of his apartment a beggar, who was trying to say something to a neighbour, Mr Don Cesareo. Mr Don Cesareo said him to didn’t bother him. But the beggar climbed the wall of the old man. Mr Don Cesareo shoved him and killed him accidently. He came back home as if nothing had happened and the police didn’t find the killer. The narrator told nothing because it hadn't been Don Cesareo’s intention to kill the panhandler. Then, 4 years later, when the narrator had his degree in the teaching of the Spanish language and literature, something bizarre happened. He saw the panhandler entering in the house of Adriana, his ex girlfriend. At that time she was married and she gave birth to a boy on that day. But when the narrator came in Andriana’s house, the bagger had disappeared. He thought that he had returned to be reincarnated in Adriana's child, Gustavo. Later, in 1979, the narrator saw a last weird thing. Gustavo was playing with stones on a terrace next to the garden of Don Cesareo and some stones fell in the garden of the old man. When he heard this, he tried to go downstairs some steps in his garden but slipped and shattered his skull on the first step. After that, the narrator saw the panhandler leave Adriana’s house and he disappeared. And from that day on, Gustavo went missing. Finally, The narrator never had the heart to tell them to give up searching their child Gustavo.
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