Entretien motivation/aide
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Message de misterland posté le 10-03-2014 à 11:27:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
je suis en 000 et je me prépare à des épreuves de 00000 Pour cela, j'ai fourni un gros effort de rédaction pour me donner plus de chances. Je reviens de loin en anglais... mais j'ai encore beaucoup à apprendre. Je souhaiterais s'il vous plaît que vous lisiez ma production pour m'indiquer mes fautes éventuelles.
Merci pour votre aide !
Hello Sir, Hello Madam,
Please, let me to introduce myself and my motivation to integrate your business school. My name is 0000. I’m 00 years old and I’m from 000.
I got a scientific french A-level with honours in 000. I was curious to discover how works the management in companies, I decided to follow professional studies in business administration and management in a polytechnic in 000. After these two academic years and my diploma got, I took awareness about the difficulties to arrive in the current very competitive job market and economy’s globalisation. So, I decided to forward economics to Bordeaux university and more precisely to carry on at the same time a year program to prepare for the entrance exams to business schools including in my undergraduate academic program. This third academic degree was able to me to improve my english skills, my general and economics knowledge. Indeed, my aim is to integrate a Master of business administration in a business school to improve my management skills and go to do studies in english-speaking country to learn about idioms and culture.
During my first two academic year in that polytechnic in 000, I spent serveral months in companies to learn the corporate world and apply tools which I learnt before in management and accountancy. My first intership took place in a accountancy department of a middle company in the sector of air-conditionning. My main task was to carry out the differents stapes in the construction of the competitors’ benefit with their fiscal declarations. The aim was to discover the competitors’ advantages. This internship of two months allowed to me to discover work in open space and relations with collegues in a department of a middle company. My second internship took place in a commercial service a bank for private customers. My main task was to elaborate a plan to reinforce savings from current clients by commercial speeches in a phone. The aim was to reinforce the fidelity of the clients. Indeed, if their savings is in our bank it’s more difficult to go to the competitors.
Moreover, I have already some experience as a crew member of a celebrate american resaturant and a huge supermarket where I worked in both as a sales assistant during my summer holidays.
As I said before, I want to integrate a business school. Because I want to be actor of my studies and personalize my path exactely with my professional project. Then, almost course is in english and the possibilty to do a gap year in english university or in companies is a big advantage for the job market. The way of teaching by studing management and business administration with true companies is a very good things which I aready knew when I was in my polytechnic in 000. Finaly, the network of allumni is the best way to manage to get a job in interesting companies when I want to work in few year.
So, my personnal project is firtly to optimise the management and the strategy of companies and societies which is in other words to be an consultant in corporate management. I want read balance sheets of companies and find what is possible to do to optimise the rentability and also if it’s profitable to purchase a company in a polity of turnover developing for a competitors. Secondly, I would like to run my own company in digital sector and apply my experience in it.
To conclude, in my extracurricular activies, I have run regularly since serveral years. Actually, I’m specialized in the 10km race and I managed to get a quite good record reccently: 38minutes. Moreover, I’m a member of a young people club called Rotaract Toulouse which elaborate actions and events in the city. Rotaract Toulouse is an association of students who want to share with anybody and participate to solidarity actions in local environnement. This last activity learn to me to be more organised and improve my communication skill with differents people to whom I was speaking.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-03-2014 12:35
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Modifié par misterland le 11-03-2014 08:38
Message de misterland posté le 10-03-2014 à 11:27:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
je suis en 000 et je me prépare à des épreuves de 00000 Pour cela, j'ai fourni un gros effort de rédaction pour me donner plus de chances. Je reviens de loin en anglais... mais j'ai encore beaucoup à apprendre. Je souhaiterais s'il vous plaît que vous lisiez ma production pour m'indiquer mes fautes éventuelles.
Merci pour votre aide !
Hello Sir, Hello Madam,
Please, let me to introduce myself and my motivation to integrate your business school. My name is 0000. I’m 00 years old and I’m from 000.
I got a scientific french A-level with honours in 000. I was curious to discover how works the management in companies, I decided to follow professional studies in business administration and management in a polytechnic in 000. After these two academic years and my diploma got, I took awareness about the difficulties to arrive in the current very competitive job market and economy’s globalisation. So, I decided to forward economics to Bordeaux university and more precisely to carry on at the same time a year program to prepare for the entrance exams to business schools including in my undergraduate academic program. This third academic degree was able to me to improve my english skills, my general and economics knowledge. Indeed, my aim is to integrate a Master of business administration in a business school to improve my management skills and go to do studies in english-speaking country to learn about idioms and culture.
During my first two academic year in that polytechnic in 000, I spent serveral months in companies to learn the corporate world and apply tools which I learnt before in management and accountancy. My first intership took place in a accountancy department of a middle company in the sector of air-conditionning. My main task was to carry out the differents stapes in the construction of the competitors’ benefit with their fiscal declarations. The aim was to discover the competitors’ advantages. This internship of two months allowed to me to discover work in open space and relations with collegues in a department of a middle company. My second internship took place in a commercial service a bank for private customers. My main task was to elaborate a plan to reinforce savings from current clients by commercial speeches in a phone. The aim was to reinforce the fidelity of the clients. Indeed, if their savings is in our bank it’s more difficult to go to the competitors.
Moreover, I have already some experience as a crew member of a celebrate american resaturant and a huge supermarket where I worked in both as a sales assistant during my summer holidays.
As I said before, I want to integrate a business school. Because I want to be actor of my studies and personalize my path exactely with my professional project. Then, almost course is in english and the possibilty to do a gap year in english university or in companies is a big advantage for the job market. The way of teaching by studing management and business administration with true companies is a very good things which I aready knew when I was in my polytechnic in 000. Finaly, the network of allumni is the best way to manage to get a job in interesting companies when I want to work in few year.
So, my personnal project is firtly to optimise the management and the strategy of companies and societies which is in other words to be an consultant in corporate management. I want read balance sheets of companies and find what is possible to do to optimise the rentability and also if it’s profitable to purchase a company in a polity of turnover developing for a competitors. Secondly, I would like to run my own company in digital sector and apply my experience in it.
To conclude, in my extracurricular activies, I have run regularly since serveral years. Actually, I’m specialized in the 10km race and I managed to get a quite good record reccently: 38minutes. Moreover, I’m a member of a young people club called Rotaract Toulouse which elaborate actions and events in the city. Rotaract Toulouse is an association of students who want to share with anybody and participate to solidarity actions in local environnement. This last activity learn to me to be more organised and improve my communication skill with differents people to whom I was speaking.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 10-03-2014 12:35
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Modifié par misterland le 11-03-2014 08:38
Réponse: Entretien motivation/aide de misterland, postée le 10-03-2014 à 13:00:01 (S | E)
Personne ne peut donc me relire ?
Réponse: Entretien motivation/aide de bluestar, postée le 10-03-2014 à 16:33:08 (S | E)
Bonjour..
Je suis sûr que je n'ai pas pris toutes les erreurs. Je suis désolé de dire que la lettre est très longue et verbeuse. Je pense que vous devriez réorganiser le matériel, éliminer les répétitions et essayer de trouver des moyens plus simples pour transmettre ce que vous voulez dire. Bonne chance!
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Please, let me
I got a scientific Ffrench A-level with honours in 2011. I was curious to discover how works the management in companies (ordre des mots), I decided to follow professional studies in business administration and management in a polytechnic in Toulouse. After these two academic years and my diploma got, I took awareness
about the difficulties to arrive in the current very competitive job market and economy’s globalisation.(qu'est que vous voulez dire?) So, I decided to forward economics to Bordeaux university and more precisely to carry on at the same time a year program to prepare for the entrance exams to business schools including During my first two academic year(pluriel) in that polytechnic in Toulouse, I spent serveral months in companies to learn the corporate world and apply tools which I learnt before in management and accountancy. My first internship took place in a accountancy department of a middle company in the sector of air-conditionning. My main task was to carry out the differents(pas de pluriel pour les adjectifs) stapes
in the construction of the competitors’ benefit with their fiscal declarations. The aim was to discover the competitors’ advantages. This internship of two months allowed to me to discover work in open space and relations with collegues in a department of a middle company. My second internship took place in a commercial service a bank for private customers. My main task was to elaborate a plan to reinforce savings from current clients by commercial speeches in a phone. The aim was to reinforce the fidelity of the clients. Indeed, if their savings is(pluriel) in our bank it’s more difficult to go to the competitors.Moreover, I have already some experience as a crew member of a celebrated Aamerican resaturant(orth.) and a huge supermarket where I worked in both as a sales assistant during my summer holidays.
As I said before, I want to
So, my personnal project is firstly to optimise the management and the strategy of companies and societies which is in other words to be an consultant in corporate management. I want read balance sheets of companies and find what is possible to do to optimise the rentability and also if it’s profitable to purchase a company in a polity of turnover developing for a competitors. Secondly, I would like to run my own company in digital sector and apply my experience in it.
To conclude, in my extracurricular activies, I have run regularly since serveral years. Actually, I’m specialized in the 10km race and I managed to get a quite good
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Modifié par bluestar le 10-03-2014 16:33
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Modifié par webmaster le 12-03-2014 16:57
Réponse: Entretien motivation/aide de misterland, postée le 10-03-2014 à 18:47:58 (S | E)
Merci blue star !!
"I'm forwarding management " n'existe donc pas ? Faudrait-il plutôt dire "I'm forwarding my studies in management." ?
Réponse: Entretien motivation/aide de bluestar, postée le 10-03-2014 à 19:07:14 (S | E)
Bonjour..
Je préfère: "My management studies are progressing" ou "I am making progress in my management studies"
Réponse: Entretien motivation/aide de misterland, postée le 17-03-2014 à 14:25:11 (S | E)
thank you =)!
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