Jane Eyre /Correction
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Message de happyboy3311 posté le 02-02-2014 à 21:40:41 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,
En anglais, nous devons écrire un passage du livre "Jane Eyre" en changeant de point de vue de personnage. J'ai choisi la tante de la jeune fille mais malheureusement, je ne parviens pas à bien visualiser mes erreurs présentes, pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plait ?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses
The meeting began. I looked at Jane, how cheeky! She was standing and proud in front of this dear Mr. Brocklehurst. I was looking forward to seeing this little pest to go to Lowood School. I was smiling when Mr. Brocklehurst asked his first question:
“Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?”
Of course not, she isn’t. However she stayed silently.
“Sir, she is the worth child that I know! She is violent, truculent and uncontrollable! Yesterday, she has hit John again!” said I and I shook of the head. I sighed and I added: “Perhaps the less said on that subject the better, Mr. Brocklehurst.”
I saw that he was shocked. Poor man he had met lot of this bad children but Jane was deeply the worth of them. He set down and asked to her “Where a naughty child wicked go after death?” and other questions like “What must you do to avoid it?”
I was disgraceful of her stupidity when she said:
”I must keep in good health and not die.” What a shame! I didn’t dare to intervene but she should be highly chastised. If I had known I would have say to Jane to be quiet to avoid living this circumstance.
Fortunately, Mr. Brocklehurst was clever and answered quickly:
“How can you keep in good health? Children younger than you die daily. I buried a little child of five years old only a day or two since, a good child, whose soul is now in heaven. It is to be feared the same could not be said of you, were you to be called hence”.
What a man! Jane sighed. She was repentant, it’s sure!
Then, Mr.Brocklehurst spoke about Bible. Everything was good until that the little pest answered that she didn’t like the Psalms. She was doing everything to upset me! Mr. Brockelhurst was chocked too:
“No? Oh, shocking! I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six Psalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a gingerbread-nut to eat, or a verse of a Psalm to learn he says: “Oh! The verse of a Psalm! Angels sing Psalms,” says he; “I wish to be a little angel here below;” he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant piety.”
Really? What luck! I hope to meet a child like this a day! I’m deeply unfortunately with Jane.
“Psalms are not interesting” answered her.
I wished silently Jane became mute forever. After the answer of Mr. Brocklehurst, I decided to stop the meeting:
“Jane, sit down! Forgive her; she doesn’t know what she says. I have sworn to my husband before his death to look after Jane like my own children however, she is wild and liar and she doesn’t want to understand all the sacrifices that I make for her… I think that she will better in Lowood and I will be relieved of my promess.”
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-02-2014 23:16
Message de happyboy3311 posté le 02-02-2014 à 21:40:41 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,
En anglais, nous devons écrire un passage du livre "Jane Eyre" en changeant de point de vue de personnage. J'ai choisi la tante de la jeune fille mais malheureusement, je ne parviens pas à bien visualiser mes erreurs présentes, pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plait ?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses
The meeting began. I looked at Jane, how cheeky! She was standing and proud in front of this dear Mr. Brocklehurst. I was looking forward to seeing this little pest to go to Lowood School. I was smiling when Mr. Brocklehurst asked his first question:
“Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?”
Of course not, she isn’t. However she stayed silently.
“Sir, she is the worth child that I know! She is violent, truculent and uncontrollable! Yesterday, she has hit John again!” said I and I shook of the head. I sighed and I added: “Perhaps the less said on that subject the better, Mr. Brocklehurst.”
I saw that he was shocked. Poor man he had met lot of this bad children but Jane was deeply the worth of them. He set down and asked to her “Where a naughty child wicked go after death?” and other questions like “What must you do to avoid it?”
I was disgraceful of her stupidity when she said:
”I must keep in good health and not die.” What a shame! I didn’t dare to intervene but she should be highly chastised. If I had known I would have say to Jane to be quiet to avoid living this circumstance.
Fortunately, Mr. Brocklehurst was clever and answered quickly:
“How can you keep in good health? Children younger than you die daily. I buried a little child of five years old only a day or two since, a good child, whose soul is now in heaven. It is to be feared the same could not be said of you, were you to be called hence”.
What a man! Jane sighed. She was repentant, it’s sure!
Then, Mr.Brocklehurst spoke about Bible. Everything was good until that the little pest answered that she didn’t like the Psalms. She was doing everything to upset me! Mr. Brockelhurst was chocked too:
“No? Oh, shocking! I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six Psalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a gingerbread-nut to eat, or a verse of a Psalm to learn he says: “Oh! The verse of a Psalm! Angels sing Psalms,” says he; “I wish to be a little angel here below;” he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant piety.”
Really? What luck! I hope to meet a child like this a day! I’m deeply unfortunately with Jane.
“Psalms are not interesting” answered her.
I wished silently Jane became mute forever. After the answer of Mr. Brocklehurst, I decided to stop the meeting:
“Jane, sit down! Forgive her; she doesn’t know what she says. I have sworn to my husband before his death to look after Jane like my own children however, she is wild and liar and she doesn’t want to understand all the sacrifices that I make for her… I think that she will better in Lowood and I will be relieved of my promess.”
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-02-2014 23:16
Réponse: Jane Eyre /Correction de here4u, postée le 03-02-2014 à 13:35:03 (S | E)
Hi happy boy !
Do you really believe we are going to do your homework for you ? That would be easy, wouldn't it ?
Yet, I will help, indicating the biggest mistakes and their nature, and you'll have to correct them by yourself, revising lessons and trying to think a little !
- worth : revoir la distinction entre worth et worse et l'usage des comparatifs/superlatifs.(worth 2 fois employé dans le texte)
-'I shook of the head' = construction fautive.
-Yesterday, she has hit => tps
-this bad children
Shame on you ! -he set down and asked to her = GRRRRRRR + construction
-naughty ..... ordre des mots
- I was disgraceful ..... à revoir (doesn't make sense!)
- must keep =(voc )
- If I had known ...... If clause fautive
- Bible = Gr
- until that the = construction
- chocked = voc
- recompense = voc
a child like this a day
- deeply unfortunately = constr.
-I wished = constr.
-she is wild and liar = constr.
- she will better in L = constr
Hope this will help you ! and the result will be YOUR work ... not mine !
May the force be with you!
Réponse: Jane Eyre /Correction de happyboy3311, postée le 04-02-2014 à 15:29:02 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre réponse
Je ne pensais absolument pas une seconde vous faire faire ma rédaction à ma place, cela n'aurait aucun intérêt pour moi et ne m'aiderait pas à apprendre. Je voulais seulement savoir où se trouvaient mes erreurs pour avoir l'occasion de les corriger et de les comprendre pour ne plus les refaire et ainsi progresser ;)
Réponse: Jane Eyre /Correction de here4u, postée le 04-02-2014 à 21:38:43 (S | E)
Very good reaction Happy Boy !
but you also have to learn what British humour is ! 
Don't hesitate to ask if something still seems to be out of your reach. It shouldn't ! Here on this site you really have all the necessary ressources to help if necessary and apart from a few mistakes, your essay was quite good !
Go for it !
here4u
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