Correction/ attaque
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Message de biscotte29 posté le 15-01-2014 à 13:19:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pouvez- vous me corriger mon paragraphe s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
Je dois écrire au passé la vision d'un spectateur d'un attentat .
The scene was held under mi eyes,it was very shocking. Everyone was happy when suddlenly there was a big detonation.
Many people were running in all direction. On the shock , I had not realized what had happened.
Some people were covered with blood. At that time, I started to cry.
Police cordoned off the perimeter and rescue workers quickly. They have come toward me and they have set me in a wheelchair. I was just a little shaken, I was not injured , I was very Lucky.
I heard people talking a terrorist attack. I do not knwo if this true but I hope that the police will catch the people who have caused this tragedy.
Now, I'm going to my family.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2014 14:19
Message de biscotte29 posté le 15-01-2014 à 13:19:58 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pouvez- vous me corriger mon paragraphe s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
Je dois écrire au passé la vision d'un spectateur d'un attentat .
The scene was held under mi eyes,it was very shocking. Everyone was happy when suddlenly there was a big detonation.
Many people were running in all direction. On the shock , I had not realized what had happened.
Some people were covered with blood. At that time, I started to cry.
Police cordoned off the perimeter and rescue workers quickly. They have come toward me and they have set me in a wheelchair. I was just a little shaken, I was not injured , I was very Lucky.
I heard people talking a terrorist attack. I do not knwo if this true but I hope that the police will catch the people who have caused this tragedy.
Now, I'm going to my family.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2014 14:19
Réponse: Correction/ attaque de violet91, postée le 15-01-2014 à 13:57:48 (S | E)
Hello,
The scene (was held ) -to take place -under (mi) grammaire - eyes, it was very shocking. Everyone was happy when (suddlenly)-orth- there was a big detonation.
Many people were running in all direction(plural). On the shock , I had not realized what (had happened).q -possible mais Be + bv-ING plus probable ou vous commencez par elle et terminez par un past perfect -
Some people were covered with( in , plutôt ) blood. At that time ( moment ) , I started to cry.( gérondif )
Police cordoned( maldt) off the -security perimeter and rescue workers quickly. They have come( simple past ) toward me and they ( have set) sat( asseoir ou installer ,) me down in a wheelchair. I was just (a little) (dreadfully ) petit - improbable : in a state of shock) shaken, I was not injured , I was very (L)ucky( orth) .( forme exclamative bienvenue : how ....-
I heard people talking ( préposition ) a terrorist attack. I do not knwo( erreur de frappe) if this ( verbe ) true but I hope that the police will catch the people who have caused( past tense ) this( autre démonstratif péjoratif et concluant ) tragedy.
Now, I'm going to my family. ( je rentre chez moi ? I 'm going home .l
Si l'interview a lieu quelques minutes après l'accident et que vous êtes sur place , vous pouvez utiliser le présent perfect , votre état commotionnel et les résultats autour de vous ( pas assez développés ) constatables. Où étiez-vous ? Mise en situation plutôt que d'entrer directement dans le drame .
Bon après-midi .
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