Correction/Espace et échanges

Correction/Espace et échanges
Message de etudiant59 posté le 27-11-2013 à 20:54:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un devoir avec le sujet suivant :
Le patron d'un garde frontière ( Talbot ) lui reproche de laisser Eloy ( un Mexicain ) traverser la frontière USA/Mexique comme il le souhaite car Talbot a été touché par l'histoire d'Eloy.
J'aimerais avoir des éléments de correction.
Merci

Mon texte : ( c'est le patron qui parle en premier )

-Talbot, what was you doing ? I have heard you talk with the Mexican, Eloy, you’re not rather authoritarian. He don’t have to cross the border as he likes.
- Yes, I agree, but this guy is different, he’s a good man, and he had to bring his children to Texas because of his wife’s death, he had no intention of leaving them alone in Mexico.
-I don’t care, the Chicanos stream across the border in uncounted numbers and then, they have all the more difficulty in adapting to the American society and consequently they become a burden for the society. They show no inclination toward becoming Americanized.
-But Eloy is different, he works in a factory for a long time and he had asked his boss if he could find his children works, and his boss could be relied on.
-Talbot ! You’re a border officer, you’re not a guardian angel, Eloy could find a job on a farm in Mexico.
-Working on a farm can’t enable him to earn a decent living, and making ends meet was all the more difficult as he had children to feed.
-Should he cross the border again, he would be arrested. And if you refuse to arrest him, I would do that !
-But you can’t arrest him, he has a job in Texas, he know that if he cross the border again, he would take the risk of being sent to jail. If he emigrated to Texas, it’s because he would be able to provide his family with money, which is impossible in Mexico. He’s needed.
-I’m your boss Talbot ! I do my job, and you’re not paid for letting the illegals immigrants cross the border as they like. I’m fed up with you ! You should be more serious.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-11-2013 21:57

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Réponse: Correction/Espace et échanges de sherry48, postée le 27-11-2013 à 22:45:25 (S | E)
Hello.
Let's begin with a few basics...

Talbot, what was you doing ? I have heard you talk with the Mexican, Eloy, you’re not rather authoritarian. He don’t have to cross the border as he likes.
- Yes, I agree, but this guy is different, he’s a good man, and he had to bring his children to Texas because of his wife’s death, he had no intention of leaving them alone in Mexico.
-I don’t care, the Chicanos stream across the border in uncounted numbers and then, they have all the more difficulty in adapting to the American society and consequently they become a burden for the society. They show no inclination toward becoming Americanized.
-But Eloy is different, he works in a factory for a long time and he had asked his boss if he could find his children works, and his boss could be relied on.
-Talbot ! You’re a border officer, you’re not a guardian angel, Eloy could find a job on a farm in Mexico.
-Working on a farm can’t enable him to earn a decent living, and making ends meet was all the more difficult as he had children to feed.
-Should he cross the border again, he would be arrested. And if you refuse to arrest him, I would do that !
-But you can’t arrest him, he has a job in Texas, he know that if he cross the border again, he would take the risk of being sent to jail. If he emigrated to Texas, it’s because he would be able to provide his family with money, which is impossible in Mexico. He’s needed.
-I’m your boss Talbot ! I do my job, and you’re not paid for letting the illegals immigrants cross the border as they like. I’m fed up with you ! You should be more serious.

Sherry

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Réponse: Correction/Espace et échanges de etudiant59, postée le 28-11-2013 à 18:13:10 (S | E)
Bonjour et merci pour ta réponse Cependant même en ayant cherché, il y a un endroit où je ne vois pas pourquoi j'ai faux (ligne 6).
Donc cela donnerait :

-Talbot, what were you doing ? I have heard you talk with the Mexican, Eloy, you’re not rather authoritarian. He doesn't have to cross the border as he likes.
- Yes, I agree, but this guy is different, he’s a good man, and he had to bring his children to Texas because of his wife’s death, he had no intention of leaving them alone in Mexico.
-I don’t care, the Chicanos stream across the border in uncounted numbers and then, they have all the more difficulty in adapting to American society and consequently they become a burden for society. They show no inclination toward becoming Americanized.
-But Eloy is different, he works ( je ne vois pas ce qui est faux ) in a factory for a long time and he had asked his boss if he could find his children work, and his boss could be relied on.
-Talbot ! You’re a border officer, you’re not a guardian angel, Eloy could find a job on a farm in Mexico.
-Working on a farm can’t enable him to earn a decent living, and making ends meet is all the more difficult as he has children to feed.
-Should he cross the border again, he would be arrested. And if you refuse to arrest him, I would do that !
-But you can’t arrest him, he has a job in Texas, he knows that if he crossed the border again, he would take the risk of being sent to jail. If he emigrate to Texas, it’s because he would be able to provide his family with money, which is impossible in Mexico. He’s needed.
-I’m your boss Talbot ! I do my job, and you’re not paid for letting the illegal immigrants cross the border as they like. I’m fed up with you ! You should be more serious.

Si tu pouvais me redonner quelques indices pour corriger les fautes restantes ce serait génial
Encore merci ;)

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Réponse: Correction/Espace et échanges de gerondif, postée le 28-11-2013 à 18:33:14 (S | E)
Hello,
he works ( je ne vois pas ce qui est faux ) in a factory
vous avez un "depuis" qui vous oblige à mettre un present perfect en ing.
I am writing to you: I have been writing this note for one minute, since 18:31


-Talbot, what were you doing ? I have heard you talk with the Mexican, Eloy, you’re not rather(au sens de pas assez ? alors, c'est faux) authoritarian. He doesn't have to( = il n'est pas obligé de, me semble faux) cross the border as he likes.
- Yes, I agree, but this guy is different, he’s a good man, and he had to bring his children to Texas because of his wife’s death, he had no intention of leaving them alone in Mexico.
-I don’t care, the Chicanos stream across the border in uncounted numbers and then, they have all the more difficulty(pluriel?) in adapting to American society and consequently they become a burden for society. They show no inclination toward becoming Americanized.
-But Eloy is different, he works ( je ne vois pas ce qui est faux ) in a factory for a long time and he had asked his boss if he could find his children work, (du travail? some work, ou des emplois? jobs?) and his boss could(pourquoi au passé?) be relied on.
-Talbot ! You’re a border officer, you’re not a guardian angel, Eloy could find a job on a farm in Mexico.
-Working on a farm can’t enable him to ( il vaudrait mieux un futur, ne lui permettra pas de) earn a decent living, and making ends meet is all the more difficult as he has children to feed.
-Should he cross the border again, he would (un futur paraît pus logique) be arrested. And if you refuse to arrest him, I would(un futue paraît plus loique) do that !
-But you can’t arrest him, he has a job in Texas, he knows that if he crossed the border again, he would take the risk of being sent to jail. If he emigrate(prétérit) to Texas, it’s because he would be able to provide his family with money, which is impossible in Mexico. He’s needed.
-I’m your boss Talbot ! I do my job, and you’re not paid for letting (mauvais choix de "pour" )the illegal immigrants cross the border as they like. I’m fed up with you ! You should be more serious.

les pour:

I am paid to help you, (but)
I come to work (but)
Thank you for helping me (cause)
He was arrested for speeding (cause)
This present is for my sister (attribution)

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Réponse: Correction/Espace et échanges de etudiant59, postée le 30-11-2013 à 19:00:38 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup
Donc ça donnerait cela après correction

-Talbot, what were you doing ? I have heard you talk with the Mexican, Eloy, you’re not enough authoritarian. He don't have to cross the border as he likes.
- Yes, I agree, but this guy is different, he’s a good man, and he had to bring his children to Texas because of his wife’s death, he had no intention of leaving them alone in Mexico.
-I don’t care, the Chicanos stream across the border in uncounted numbers and then, they have all the more difficulties in adapting to American society and consequently they become a burden for society. They show no inclination toward becoming Americanized.
-But Eloy is different, he had been working in a factory for a long time and he had asked his boss if he could find his children some work, and his boss can be relied on.
-Talbot ! You’re a border officer, you’re not a guardian angel, Eloy could find a job on a farm in Mexico.
-Working on a farm will not enable him to earn a decent living, and making ends meet is all the more difficult as he has children to feed.
-Should he cross the border again, he will be arrested. And if you refuse to arrest him, I will do that !
-But you can’t arrest him, he has a job in Texas, he knows that if he crossed the border again, he would take the risk of being sent to jail. If he emigrated to Texas, it’s because he would be able to provide his family with money, which is impossible in Mexico. He’s needed.
-I’m your boss Talbot ! I do my job, and you’re not paid to letting the illegal immigrants cross the border as they like. I’m fed up with you ! You should be more serious.

Encore merci

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