Correction /espaces et échanges

Correction /espaces et échanges
Message de etudiant59 posté le 08-10-2013 à 20:30:42 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'ai un devoir avec le sujet suivant : Un père et son fils ( Seymour ) arrivent à New York, le père envoie une lettre à sa femme pour lui donner des nouvelles; il parle du voyage, de l'arrivée à NY, des premières semaines et de ses peurs pour le futur.
Merci pour votre aide.

Mon texte :

My love,
Seymour and I have succeed in crossing the Atlantic Ocean, it’s was uncomfortable and crowded. We were one on top of the others as a result we had difficulty in sleeping and we were exhausted, but we have made it. We have landed on New York, in the USA.
Seymour had to stay some time on Ellis Island without me, he had a cold and the authorities wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t be a burden for me. He wasn’t allowed to leave Ellis Island until his cold went away. As far I am concerned, I was asked about my plans in America and I had to pass a physical examination and they let me leave.
New York is such a wonderful place, it’s very different from Poland. When I have seen the Statue of Liberty I have understand that we had made our dream come true. It was the first time, I had had trust in the future.
I have find a job some days after the arrival but we are a cheap labor force and I have difficulty in speaking to each other, dozens of languages are spoken here . I can’t pay for a rent, so we live with the Seymour‘uncle for the moment. Life is difficult, having a job didn’t prevent me from the insecurity. And if only I would have a good salary ! I’m afraid that America might not be The Promise Land. But it’s certainly better than in Europe where the situation is so difficult that we were less likely to succeed.
You will come when we has enough money to pay for the tickets, I think we wouldn’t afford to buy them until three months. I’m eager to see you and our children again. We shall soon be all together to celebrate our new life in the Unites States.
I love you !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-10-2013 00:12

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Réponse: Correction /espaces et échanges de lucile83, postée le 12-10-2013 à 23:41:27 (S | E)
up

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Réponse: Correction /espaces et échanges de notrepere, postée le 13-10-2013 à 00:11:52 (S | E)
Hello

My love,
Seymour and I have succeed(temps) in crossing the Atlantic Ocean, it’s was uncomfortable and crowded. We were one on top of the others. As a result we had difficulty in sleeping and we were exhausted, but we have made it. We have landed on(mauvaise préposition) New York, in the USA.
Seymour had to stay some time on Ellis Island without me. He had a cold and the authorities wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t be a burden for(idem) me. He wasn’t allowed to leave Ellis Island until his cold went away. As far I am concerned, I was asked about my plans in America and I had to pass a physical examination and they let me leave.
New York is such a wonderful place, it’s very different from Poland. When I have seen (temps) the Statue of Liberty I have understand(temps) that we had made our dream come true. It was the first time, I had had trust in the future.
I have find(temps) a job some days after the arrival but we are a cheap labor force and I have difficulty in speaking to each others, dozens of languages are spoken here . I can’t pay for a rent, so we live with the Seymour‘uncle for the moment. Life is difficult, having a job didn’t prevent me from the insecurity. And if only I would have(temps) a good salary ! I’m afraid that America might not be The Promised Land. But it’s certainly better than in Europe where the situation is so difficult that we were less likely to succeed.
You will come when we has(accorde) enough money to pay for the tickets, I think we wouldn’t don't think we will be able to afford to buy them for three months. I’m eager to see you and our children again. We shall soon be all together to celebrate our new life in the Unites States.
I love you !

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Réponse: Correction /espaces et échanges de etudiant59, postée le 13-10-2013 à 13:54:24 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ton aide ;)
Donc ça donnerait cela :

My love,
Seymour and I have succeeded in crossing the Atlantic Ocean, it was uncomfortable and crowded. We were one on top of the others. As a result we had difficulty in sleeping and we were exhausted, but we have made it. We have landed in New York, in the USA.
Seymour had to stay some time on Ellis Island without me. He had a cold and the authorities wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t be a burden to me. He wasn’t allowed to leave Ellis Island until his cold went away. As far I am concerned, I was asked about my plans in America and I had to pass a physical examination and they let me leave.
New York is such a wonderful place, it’s very different from Poland. When I have saw the Statue of Liberty I have understood that we had made our dream come true. It was the first time I had had trust in the future.
I have found a job some days after the arrival but we are a cheap labor force and I have difficulty in speaking others, dozens of languages are spoken here . I can’t pay for rent, so we live with Seymour‘uncle for the moment. Life is difficult, having a job didn’t prevent me from insecurity. And if only I had a good salary ! I’m afraid that America might not be The Promised Land. But it’s certainly better than in Europe where the situation is so difficult that we were less likely to succeed.
You will come when we have enough money to pay for the tickets, I don't think we will be able to afford to buy them for three months. I’m eager to see you and our children again. We shall soon be all together to celebrate our new life in the Unites States.
I love you !

Encore merci

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