Correction lettre/aide
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Message de melmon posté le 02-10-2013 à 19:30:03 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
après le CV, la lettre ^^
Merci beaucoup à celui ou celle qui pourra me donner un coup de main !
Dear Madam, Dear Sir,
I am presently a student in Marine Biology Sciences at European Institute of Marine Studies in Brest (Brittany). For my first year of master’s degree, a work experience of 2 months (starting from 6 of January to 28 of February) is required. I am addressing you this letter because I would like to have the opportunity to do some training in your organisation.
In fact, your organisation, based on discovery and preservation of marine life, concerns fields I have always been interested in. Working in your ocearium would be a great experience for me, by giving me the opportunity to work in a field I like. Plus, I intend to live and work in a foreign country later, and a training period in England would not only enable me to improve my English, but also bring me an international experience by giving me the opportunity to gain a better knowledge of the English Culture.
I was two years ago volunteer for France Turbot, an aquaculture firm and enjoy the variety of tasks this involves particularly as take care of fishes since their birth.
I have chosen marine biology as my career and finished my Bachelor in Biology in France last June, after spent a year in Canada studying at the University of Quebec at Rimouski. My particular area of interest is sharks and turtles. I would love to have the opportunity to learn more about your organisation and share my enthusiasm with others.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. Should you require further information do not hesitate to e-mail me.
Faithfully
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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-10-2013 22:18
Message de melmon posté le 02-10-2013 à 19:30:03 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
après le CV, la lettre ^^
Merci beaucoup à celui ou celle qui pourra me donner un coup de main !
Dear Madam, Dear Sir,
I am presently a student in Marine Biology Sciences at European Institute of Marine Studies in Brest (Brittany). For my first year of master’s degree, a work experience of 2 months (starting from 6 of January to 28 of February) is required. I am addressing you this letter because I would like to have the opportunity to do some training in your organisation.
In fact, your organisation, based on discovery and preservation of marine life, concerns fields I have always been interested in. Working in your ocearium would be a great experience for me, by giving me the opportunity to work in a field I like. Plus, I intend to live and work in a foreign country later, and a training period in England would not only enable me to improve my English, but also bring me an international experience by giving me the opportunity to gain a better knowledge of the English Culture.
I was two years ago volunteer for France Turbot, an aquaculture firm and enjoy the variety of tasks this involves particularly as take care of fishes since their birth.
I have chosen marine biology as my career and finished my Bachelor in Biology in France last June, after spent a year in Canada studying at the University of Quebec at Rimouski. My particular area of interest is sharks and turtles. I would love to have the opportunity to learn more about your organisation and share my enthusiasm with others.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. Should you require further information do not hesitate to e-mail me.
Faithfully
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-10-2013 22:18
Réponse: Correction lettre/aide de gerondif, postée le 02-10-2013 à 20:01:36 (S | E)
Hello,
Dear Madam, Dear Sir,
erreurs en bleu, corrections offertes en vert
I am presently a student in Marine Biology Sciences(en anglais, science est souvent au singulier) at the European Institute of Marine Studies in Brest (Brittany). For my first year of master’s degree, a work experience of 2 months (starting from the 6th of January to the 28th of February // ou alors from January 6th to February 28th)) is required. I am addressing you this letter because I would like to have the opportunity to do some training in your organisation.
In fact, your organisation, based on the discovery and the preservation of marine life, concerns fields I have always been interested in. Working in your ocearium would be a great experience for me, by giving me the opportunity to work in a field I like. Plus(moreover me semble plus politiquement correct), I intend to live and work in a foreign country later, and a training period in England would not only enable me to improve my English, but also bring me an international experience by giving me the opportunity to gain a better knowledge of the English Culture.
I was a volunteer (on met a devant les noms de métier)for France Turbot two years ago , an aquaculture firm and I enjoy (mettez le au prétérit en ed) the variety of tasks this involves(prétérit en ed) particularly especially
I have chosen marine biology as my career and finished my Bachelor in Biology in France last June, after spent(mettez spend en ing) a year in Canada studying at the University of Quebec at Rimouski. My particular area of interest is sharks and turtles. I would love to have the opportunity to learn more about your organisation and share my enthusiasm with others.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. Should you require further information do not hesitate to e-mail me.
Yours Faithfully
Réponse: Correction lettre/aide de melmon, postée le 02-10-2013 à 20:41:01 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide ! Correction effectuée !
Dear Madam, Dear Sir,
I am presently a student in Marine Biology Sciences at the European Institute of Marine Studies in Brest (Brittany). For my first year of master’s degree, a work experience of two months (starting from January 6th to February 28th) is required. I am addressing you this letter because I would like to have the opportunity to do some training in your organisation.
In fact, your organisation, based on the discovery and the preservation of marine life, concerns fields I have always been interested in. Working in your ocearium would be a great experience for me, by giving me the opportunity to work in a field I like. Moreover, I intend to live and work in a foreign country later, and a training period in England would not only enable me to improve my English, but also bring me an international experience by giving me the opportunity to gain a better knowledge of the English Culture.
I was a volunteer for France Turbot two years ago, an aquaculture firm and enjoy the variety of tasks this involves particularly as taking care of fish since their birth.
I have chosen marine biology as my career and finished my Bachelor in Biology in France last June, after spending a year in Canada studying at the University of Quebec at Rimouski. My particular area of interest is sharks and turtles. I would love to have the opportunity to learn more about your organisation and share my enthusiasm with others.
I look forward to hearing from you soon. Should you require further information do not hesitate to e-mail me.
Yours Faithfully
Réponse: Correction lettre/aide de gerondif, postée le 02-10-2013 à 20:46:39 (S | E)
Hello,
I was a volunteer (worker) for France Turbot two years ago, an aquaculture firm and I enjoyed the variety of tasks this involved , especially
Réponse: Correction lettre/aide de simplicius, postée le 02-10-2013 à 23:42:46 (S | E)
Hello,
Plutôt que "based on the discovery and preservation..." je suggère "dedicated to the discovery and preservation..."
Bonsoir !
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