Correction /Expression écrite
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Message de faloux posté le 31-08-2013 à 15:51:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous.
je souhaiterais m'exercer en expression écrite, et en ce moment mon professeur d'anglais ( à l'école ) aime les expressions consacrées au passé, dans son cas les vacances précédentes.
Comme indiqué dans le titre, je souhaiterais que vous m'aidiez à corriger mon expression écrite, c' est un peu long ( +- 200 Mots) mais c'est le minimum pour mon professeur !
Merci d'avance pour le temps que vous m'accorderez !
My holidays !
Firt day, at exactly 6 o'clock i arrived to the airport in thailand (called the land of smiles) where a lot of member of my family were waiting for receive me at airport. they were very happy to see me because they didn't see me long time ago !
to celebrate, we went to a famous japanese restaurant, in center of bangkok.
the price is very high but the food was delicious and we had a good time.
the next day, my dad takes me to the biggest farm of crocodile in thailand, where there were a lot of crocodiles. in afternoon there was a show of crocodile, a thai very brave put his head in the crocodile's mouth !! and he is still alive! fortunately because we were very afraid for him !
the second day i visited the biggest bouddha temple, he is situated in ayothaya (ancient capital of thailand) there were a lot of old and young monks, all were very cheerful
for the last week, i visited 7 provinces of the south. (all near of the sea)
I slept everyday near of the sea, walked along the beach, and sometime there was some parties where i danced later the night!
the best place where i went is phuket ! (Very famous)
i slept at the "hadsai ressort", luxurious bedroom, swimming pool, restaurant,.. it was very nice !
the next day, i went to "james bond island" by a mini boat, there were a lot of tourist.. (Difficult for take photo)..
and finally, the seawater was very clear, the sun shone, all girls wore bikinis,..
A paradise on the earth.
En attendant votre réponse!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 31-08-2013 18:24
Message de faloux posté le 31-08-2013 à 15:51:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous.
je souhaiterais m'exercer en expression écrite, et en ce moment mon professeur d'anglais ( à l'école ) aime les expressions consacrées au passé, dans son cas les vacances précédentes.
Comme indiqué dans le titre, je souhaiterais que vous m'aidiez à corriger mon expression écrite, c' est un peu long ( +- 200 Mots) mais c'est le minimum pour mon professeur !
Merci d'avance pour le temps que vous m'accorderez !
My holidays !
Firt day, at exactly 6 o'clock i arrived to the airport in thailand (called the land of smiles) where a lot of member of my family were waiting for receive me at airport. they were very happy to see me because they didn't see me long time ago !
to celebrate, we went to a famous japanese restaurant, in center of bangkok.
the price is very high but the food was delicious and we had a good time.
the next day, my dad takes me to the biggest farm of crocodile in thailand, where there were a lot of crocodiles. in afternoon there was a show of crocodile, a thai very brave put his head in the crocodile's mouth !! and he is still alive! fortunately because we were very afraid for him !
the second day i visited the biggest bouddha temple, he is situated in ayothaya (ancient capital of thailand) there were a lot of old and young monks, all were very cheerful
for the last week, i visited 7 provinces of the south. (all near of the sea)
I slept everyday near of the sea, walked along the beach, and sometime there was some parties where i danced later the night!
the best place where i went is phuket ! (Very famous)
i slept at the "hadsai ressort", luxurious bedroom, swimming pool, restaurant,.. it was very nice !
the next day, i went to "james bond island" by a mini boat, there were a lot of tourist.. (Difficult for take photo)..
and finally, the seawater was very clear, the sun shone, all girls wore bikinis,..
A paradise on the earth.
En attendant votre réponse!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-08-2013 18:24
Réponse: Correction /Expression écrite de lucile83, postée le 01-09-2013 à 09:39:42 (S | E)
Hello,
Ce qui ne va pas est en bleu; quelqu'un prendra le relais j'espère.
My holidays !
Firt day, at exactly 6 o'clock i arrived to the airport in thailand (called the land of smiles) where a lot of member of my family were waiting for receive me at ... airport. they were very happy to see me because they didn't see me long time ago !
to celebrate, we went to a famous japanese restaurant, in ... center of bangkok.
the price is very high but the food was delicious and we had a good time.
les majuscules existent en anglais Réponse: Correction /Expression écrite de sbgs, postée le 01-09-2013 à 10:23:52 (S | E)
Hello, je vais essayer de reprendre là où Lucile s'est arrêtée, je ne vous promets rien
the next day, my dad takes me to the biggest farm of crocodile in thailand ( majuscule aux noms propres ), where there were a lot of crocodiles. in afternoon there was a show of crocodile, a thai very brave put his head in the crocodile's mouth !! and he is still alive! fortunately because we were very afraid for him !
the second day i visited the biggest bouddha temple, he is situated in ayothaya (ancient capital of thailand) there were a lot of old and young monks, all were very cheerful ( ponctuation )
for the last week, i visited 7 provinces of the south. (all near of ( je ne pense pas que le "of" soit nécessaire) the sea)
I slept everyday near of the sea, walked along the beach, and sometime there was some parties where i danced later the night!
the best place where i went is phuket ! (Very famous)
i slept at the "hadsai ressort", luxurious bedroom, swimming pool, restaurant,.. it was very nice !
the next day, i went to "james bond island" by a mini boat, there were a lot of tourist.. (Difficult for take photo)..
and finally, the seawater was very clear, the sun shone, all girls wore ( je ne suis pas sûr du temps ici ) bikinis,..
A paradise on the earth.
Bon, vu que je ne suis pas un parfait correcteur, j'ai dû laisser une ou deux fautes par-ci par-là. Mais je pense que le plus gros a été corrigé !
Attention aux majuscules aux noms propres, à la ponctuation ( elle est différente par rapport à la ponctuation française )
PS : Waouh, ça a dû être un sacré séjour !
Réponse: Correction /Expression écrite de faloux, postée le 01-09-2013 à 11:58:09 (S | E)
Bonjour lucile & sbgs, premièrement un grand merci pour le temps que vous m'avez accordé!
Ma correction:
My holidays !
First day, at exactly 6 o'clock I arrived at the airport in Thailand(called the land of smiles) where a lot of members of my family were waiting for receive (Quel mot dois-je utiliser?) me at the airport. They were very happy to see me because they didn't see me long time ago (Je ne sais pas quoi mettre d'autre, je dois changer de mot, d'endroit?)!
To celebrate, we went to a famous japanese restaurant, in the center of Bangkok.
The price was (pas sûr?) very high but the food was delicious and we had a good time.
