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Correction/fish died

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Correction/fish died
Message from sergio0410 posted on 03-07-2013 at 08:08:51 (D | E | F)
Hello!
I was wondering if someone could help me correct my mistakes of a text that I translated from Spanish :D
Thank you for your answers.
Here it is:

At least 500 ton of fish died suffocated after the dam in which they habituated, at the west of Mexico, was polluted by waste from an illegal enterprise which produces cattle food, informed on Monday the local authority.

Last week, the enterprise, which did not have permission to operate, poured illegally hundreds of liters of molasses, a derivate from sugar cane which finished with the oxygen, in a channel that flows into the Hurtado Dam, in the municipality of Acatlán de Juárez, in the state of Jalisco, said to the AFP the local mayor, Emeterio Corona.

“Here’s the damage, the affectation to the environment and to the sustenance of everyone (the inhabitants of the town) What are they going to live from? It makes me angry. We are going to report it. It’s a tragedy”, said the mayor at the base of the dam where fishers kept taking out thousands of dead fish.

Carps and breams died because “the molasses finished with the oxygen of the water” and it ended with “at least 500 ton of dead fish”, commented Arturo Arceo, member of the fisher’s cooperative from the town of San Pedro Valenciana, where the dam is located, at 250 miles from Mexico’s capital city.

Around 180 families depend on fishing from the Hurtado dam. The mayor of Acatlán de Juárez has asked for help to the government for them.

On Monday morning the fishers kept taking out suffocated fish from the dam that has an extension of around 600 ha.

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Edited by lucile83 on 03-07-2013 08:59


Re: Correction/fish died from sherry48, posted on 04-07-2013 at 00:58:40 (D | E)
Hello. Here are a few things to begin with.

At least 500 ton_ of fish died of suffocat___after the dam in which they habituated (different word) in west__ Mexico, was polluted by waste from an illegal enterprise which produces cattle food, [informed on Monday the local authority]. Because of the length of the sentence, consider placing this at the beginning of the sentence, either just 'On Monday' or the entire phrase.

Last week, the enterprise, which did not have permission to operate, poured illegally hundreds of liters of molasses, **a derivat__e from sugar cane [which finished with the oxygen]**, in__ a channel that flows into the Hurtado Dam, in the municipality of Acatlán de Juárez, in the state of Jalisco, said to the AFP the local mayor, Emeterio Corona. Very long sentence! Consider removing the part inside the asterisks and making a second sentence.
“Here’s the damage, the affectation to the environment and to the sustenance of everyone (the inhabitants of the town) What are they going to live from? It makes me angry. We are going to report it. It’s a tragedy”, said the mayor at the base of the dam where fisher__kept taking out thousands of dead fish.

Carps and breams died because “the molasses finished with the oxygen of the water” and it ended with “at least 500 ton_ of dead fish”, commented Arturo Arceo, member of the fisher___’s cooperative from the town of San Pedro Valenciana, where the dam is located, at 250 miles from Mexico’s capital city.

Around 180 families depend on fishing from the Hurtado dam. The mayor of Acatlán de Juárez has asked for help to the government for them.

On Monday morning the fisher__ kept taking out suffocated fish from the dam that has an extension of around 600 ha.

Sherry




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