Correction /résumés
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Message de spuch posté le 18-05-2013 à 15:11:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis actuellement étudiante en deuxième année de comptabilité xxx et pour mon examen oral j'ai dû résumer divers articles de presse, seulement, ma prof n'a pas le temps de les corriger d'un point de vue temps et syntaxe, j'aurais donc voulu savoir si certains d'entre vous pourraient prendre quelques minutes pour lire mes 2 résumés et pourquoi pas me dire où se trouvent mes erreurs éventuelles.
En effet, je vais devoir les étudier et les "réciter" devant ma prof le 17 juin et j'aimerais prendre le temps de les relire régulièrement afin de ne pas étudier tout d'un bloc.
Je remercie d'avance ceux qui prendront la peine de me lire et peut-être même de m'aider, voici les 2 résumés.
The obesity, the story so far
The text talks about the problems of the obesity.
Indeed, there are more and more obese people. Most of us didn’t see it but the 1960s was probably the turning point for the obesity
epidemic, maybe because people started using cars more and doing less physical jobs but also because the food chain had recovered after the decrease in food consumption because of shortages during and after the world wars. From that moment, obesity started rising and didn’t stop.
It was limited to the rich countries but now the low and middle-income countries are reaching. Why? Maybe because fast food is cheaper than another normal restaurant and it is really easier than cooking yourself.
The figures are shocking, about 500 million obese people in the world. One in four in the UK, a third of adults across the Atlantic, 7
in 10 women in Tonga and more and more cases are being registered in Japan and China, no country has escaped. Experts predict that obesity levels will probably double in the next 20 years.
But obesity isn’t only a weight problem; it is linked to diabetes, heart disease, cancer, it’s becoming worrying. The London government works with industry to encourage healthier lifestyles and a lot of firms have signed up to reduce the salt, sugar and fat content of food. But it isn’t enough, experts want tougher action, they say it is needed to tackle the issue. In some countries like Finland, Norway and Hungary there is a tax on unhealthy food and drinks and traffic light labeling on food but how many more will follow them?
States impose new limits on teenage drivers
Having a driver’s license at 16 is a rite of American teendom. A teenager with it pile a lot of friends (as many as will fit into the
car for a ride).
This article talks about the new limits on teenage drivers in USA. Indeed, States are passing laws that restrict when, how and with whom teenagers can get behind the wheel since the mid-1990s.
A majority of states prohibit teenagers to drive with another teenager or more than one. They can’t drive after 6 or 8 p.m. or much
worse, they can’t drive from sundown to sunup. There are also periods of supervision and probationary driving before they can get a full license! States ban cellphone use and extend the restrictions to 18.
In New Jersey, you must be 17 to have your driver license and must attach a red sticker to your plate. Because of that, it’s easier for the police to control the respect of the curfew, passenger restriction etc.
We can ask why these new limits? But it seems logic when you know that studies have shown that teenagers tend to underestimate risks, overestimate their skills on the road and often multitask (they talk with their friends, listen to music and sing, text…), but all these things increase teenage drivers’ risk of crash by 44% with one teenage passenger and quadruple with three or more. Two-thirds of teenage deaths in car crashes happen in car driven by another teenager. (They have a crash rate four times higher than older drivers).
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Modifié par spuch le 18-05-2013 15:20
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-05-2013 17:19
Mise en forme standard
Message de spuch posté le 18-05-2013 à 15:11:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis actuellement étudiante en deuxième année de comptabilité xxx et pour mon examen oral j'ai dû résumer divers articles de presse, seulement, ma prof n'a pas le temps de les corriger d'un point de vue temps et syntaxe, j'aurais donc voulu savoir si certains d'entre vous pourraient prendre quelques minutes pour lire mes 2 résumés et pourquoi pas me dire où se trouvent mes erreurs éventuelles.
En effet, je vais devoir les étudier et les "réciter" devant ma prof le 17 juin et j'aimerais prendre le temps de les relire régulièrement afin de ne pas étudier tout d'un bloc.
Je remercie d'avance ceux qui prendront la peine de me lire et peut-être même de m'aider, voici les 2 résumés.
The obesity, the story so far
The text talks about the problems of the obesity.
Indeed, there are more and more obese people. Most of us didn’t see it but the 1960s was probably the turning point for the obesity
epidemic, maybe because people started using cars more and doing less physical jobs but also because the food chain had recovered after the decrease in food consumption because of shortages during and after the world wars. From that moment, obesity started rising and didn’t stop.
It was limited to the rich countries but now the low and middle-income countries are reaching. Why? Maybe because fast food is cheaper than another normal restaurant and it is really easier than cooking yourself.
The figures are shocking, about 500 million obese people in the world. One in four in the UK, a third of adults across the Atlantic, 7
in 10 women in Tonga and more and more cases are being registered in Japan and China, no country has escaped. Experts predict that obesity levels will probably double in the next 20 years.
But obesity isn’t only a weight problem; it is linked to diabetes, heart disease, cancer, it’s becoming worrying. The London government works with industry to encourage healthier lifestyles and a lot of firms have signed up to reduce the salt, sugar and fat content of food. But it isn’t enough, experts want tougher action, they say it is needed to tackle the issue. In some countries like Finland, Norway and Hungary there is a tax on unhealthy food and drinks and traffic light labeling on food but how many more will follow them?
States impose new limits on teenage drivers
Having a driver’s license at 16 is a rite of American teendom. A teenager with it pile a lot of friends (as many as will fit into the
car for a ride).
This article talks about the new limits on teenage drivers in USA. Indeed, States are passing laws that restrict when, how and with whom teenagers can get behind the wheel since the mid-1990s.
A majority of states prohibit teenagers to drive with another teenager or more than one. They can’t drive after 6 or 8 p.m. or much
worse, they can’t drive from sundown to sunup. There are also periods of supervision and probationary driving before they can get a full license! States ban cellphone use and extend the restrictions to 18.
In New Jersey, you must be 17 to have your driver license and must attach a red sticker to your plate. Because of that, it’s easier for the police to control the respect of the curfew, passenger restriction etc.
We can ask why these new limits? But it seems logic when you know that studies have shown that teenagers tend to underestimate risks, overestimate their skills on the road and often multitask (they talk with their friends, listen to music and sing, text…), but all these things increase teenage drivers’ risk of crash by 44% with one teenage passenger and quadruple with three or more. Two-thirds of teenage deaths in car crashes happen in car driven by another teenager. (They have a crash rate four times higher than older drivers).
-------------------
Modifié par spuch le 18-05-2013 15:20
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-05-2013 17:19
Mise en forme standard
Réponse: Correction /résumés de hushpuppy, postée le 21-05-2013 à 12:47:22 (S | E)
Bonjour,
C'est très bien, les corrections sont bleus et les mots déjà corrigés sont verts
Obesity, the story so far
The text talks about the problems of the obesity.
Indeed, there are more and more obese people. Most of us didn’t see it but the 1960s was probably the turning point for the obesity
epidemic, maybe because people started using cars more and doing less physical jobs(plutôt: work ou labour) but also because the food chain had recovered after the decrease in food consumption because of shortages during and after the world wars. From that moment, obesity started rising and didn’t stop. It was limited to the rich countries but now the low and middle-income countries are reaching (pronom). Why? Maybe because fast food is cheaper than
But obesity isn’t only a weight problem; it is linked to diabetes, heart disease, (conjonction) cancer, it’s becoming worrisome. The London government works with industry(pluriel) to encourage healthier lifestyles and a lot of firms have signed up to reduce the salt, sugar and fat content of food. But it isn’t enough, experts want tougher action, they say it is needed to tackle the issue. In some countries like Finland, Norway and Hungary there is a tax on unhealthy food and drinks and traffic light labeling on food but how many more will follow them?
States impose new limits on teenage drivers
Having a driver’s license at 16 is a rite of American teendom. A teenager with it pile a lot of friends("will pile a lot of friends into their car) (as many as will fit into it for a ride). This article talks about the new limits on teenage drivers in (article) USA. Indeed, (article+adjectif propre)States are(passé composé à cause de "since") passing laws that restrict when, how and with whom teenagers can get behind the wheel since the mid-1990s. A majority of states prohibit teenagers to drive with another teenager or more than one. They can’t drive after 6 or 8 p.m. or much worse, they can’t drive from sundown to sunup. There are also periods of supervision and probationary driving before they can get a full license! Some states ban cellphone use and extend the restrictions to 18. In New Jersey, you must be 17 to have your driver(possessif) license and must attach a red sticker to your plate. Because of that, it’s easier for the police to control the respect of the curfew, passenger restriction etc. We might ask, why these new limits? But it seems logic(adjectif) when you know that studies have shown that teenagers tend to underestimate risks, overestimate their skills on the road and often multitask (they talk with their friends, listen to music and sing, text…), but all these things increase teenage drivers’ risk of crashing by 44% with one teenage passenger and quadruple with three or more. Two-thirds of teenage deaths in car crashes happen in (article) car driven by another teenager. (They have a crash rate four times higher than older(autre mot, "older" ne signifie pas quel qualité ?) drivers).
Réponse: Correction /résumés de spuch, postée le 21-05-2013 à 14:01:28 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci beaucoup pour ton aide, c'est vraiment sympa! Je vais corriger en fonction de tes commentaires, merci encore
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