Correction/oral Bac
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Message de mdeneuvi posté le 01-05-2013 à 21:09:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je passe mon bac oral d'anglais dans une semaine, et je dois apprendre certains textes par cœur. Le problème, c'est que j'ai moi-même dû rédiger ces textes, et que je pense qu'ils contiennent plein de fautes.. Si vous pouviez m'aider ce serait super !
Voilà le texte :
I am going to talk about the notion of places and form of power.
First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion: ????
When we studied this period, we wondered: Why does the USA, a democratic country, have such a deeply rooted gun culture ?
To my mind the documents that best illustrate the notion are : an iconographic document precisely an ad for a weapon, and an audio document " Getting a Gun in Colorado " .
First of all, in the United states the weapon port represent a pillar of American culture. Since the years 1920, society is "militarized"; many advertising encourage the children to possess weapons .. For exemple,in 1960, the brand " Daisy" makes a publicity for real guns bound for the children. Their motto is "From age 7 to age 17, Daisy guns will make your Christmases unforgettable moments"
This shows that the gun culture is already present among American children.
The important gun culture in the united states results ( arises ) from the country's history.
Indeed, It is in 1791 that the second amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America guarantees to every American citizen the right to bear arms.
Indeed this law was put in place at the beginning to have a well regulated militia that can defend the country, but weapons were widely spread in the population during the Americain Revolution and, the wave of colonization from the west.
The conflict between cowboys and Indians in the 1840s , and the phenomenon of gold rush where the firearms were very important have given source at a great culture of cinematography western in the usa.
The myth of armed gangsters of Chicago in the 1920s century whose the symbol is undoubtedly Al Capone, have always fascinated united states and it also participated in the creation of this gun culture.
Nowadays, the weapons are no longer only to defending itself, they are part of the whole culture of the United states,"Gun Shows" ,"arms fairs" .. are organized in the United States, and they are very popular.
So the gun culture is deeply rooted in America also because , tthe weapons are very present, there is an impressive number of arms in circulation.
There are approximately 315 million of residents ... for 300 million firearms in circulation !
Buy a gun in this country has become commonplace ..
Indeed, in the audio document " Getting a Gun in Colorado ", a man explains that is easy to get a gun in america, and precisely in Colorado. If you are 18, and if you have not commited offenses, you can by a gun. A permit is no required.
In Colorado, students have the right to have a weapon on university campuses!
In a country where gun ownership is forbidden, a person does not feel in insecurity if she have not got a weapon. But in a country where everyone have a gun, it becomes almost dangerous not to have them (to have not them weapons )
It's a vicious circle.
To conclude, we can say that the gun culture is such deeply rooted in america because of the country's history, because of the second amendment which protect the right to bear a gun, and because the access to the weapons are easy.
Je sais que mon texte est long, donc si vous pouviez m'aider pour une petite partie, ce serait déjà super !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2013 21:26
Message de mdeneuvi posté le 01-05-2013 à 21:09:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je passe mon bac oral d'anglais dans une semaine, et je dois apprendre certains textes par cœur. Le problème, c'est que j'ai moi-même dû rédiger ces textes, et que je pense qu'ils contiennent plein de fautes.. Si vous pouviez m'aider ce serait super !
Voilà le texte :
I am going to talk about the notion of places and form of power.
First of all, I would like to give a definition of this notion: ????
When we studied this period, we wondered: Why does the USA, a democratic country, have such a deeply rooted gun culture ?
To my mind the documents that best illustrate the notion are : an iconographic document precisely an ad for a weapon, and an audio document " Getting a Gun in Colorado " .
First of all, in the United states the weapon port represent a pillar of American culture. Since the years 1920, society is "militarized"; many advertising encourage the children to possess weapons .. For exemple,in 1960, the brand " Daisy" makes a publicity for real guns bound for the children. Their motto is "From age 7 to age 17, Daisy guns will make your Christmases unforgettable moments"
This shows that the gun culture is already present among American children.
The important gun culture in the united states results ( arises ) from the country's history.
Indeed, It is in 1791 that the second amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America guarantees to every American citizen the right to bear arms.
Indeed this law was put in place at the beginning to have a well regulated militia that can defend the country, but weapons were widely spread in the population during the Americain Revolution and, the wave of colonization from the west.
The conflict between cowboys and Indians in the 1840s , and the phenomenon of gold rush where the firearms were very important have given source at a great culture of cinematography western in the usa.
The myth of armed gangsters of Chicago in the 1920s century whose the symbol is undoubtedly Al Capone, have always fascinated united states and it also participated in the creation of this gun culture.
Nowadays, the weapons are no longer only to defending itself, they are part of the whole culture of the United states,"Gun Shows" ,"arms fairs" .. are organized in the United States, and they are very popular.
So the gun culture is deeply rooted in America also because , tthe weapons are very present, there is an impressive number of arms in circulation.
There are approximately 315 million of residents ... for 300 million firearms in circulation !
Buy a gun in this country has become commonplace ..
Indeed, in the audio document " Getting a Gun in Colorado ", a man explains that is easy to get a gun in america, and precisely in Colorado. If you are 18, and if you have not commited offenses, you can by a gun. A permit is no required.
In Colorado, students have the right to have a weapon on university campuses!
In a country where gun ownership is forbidden, a person does not feel in insecurity if she have not got a weapon. But in a country where everyone have a gun, it becomes almost dangerous not to have them (to have not them weapons )
It's a vicious circle.
To conclude, we can say that the gun culture is such deeply rooted in america because of the country's history, because of the second amendment which protect the right to bear a gun, and because the access to the weapons are easy.
Je sais que mon texte est long, donc si vous pouviez m'aider pour une petite partie, ce serait déjà super !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2013 21:26
Réponse: Correction/oral Bac de hushpuppy, postée le 02-05-2013 à 00:09:36 (S | E)
Cela a besoin de citations des sources pour commencer le corriger, mais une pénsée immédiatement : comment définissez-vous "notion" ?
Réponse: Correction/oral Bac de mdeneuvi, postée le 02-05-2013 à 12:58:12 (S | E)
Le problème, c'est que je n'ai pas de sources internets. Le contenu de mon texte provient de ma rédaction et de données de mon cours.
Une définition de "notion", en français ?
Réponse: Correction/oral Bac de hushpuppy, postée le 02-05-2013 à 14:34:56 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Ce n'est pas un problème de ne pas être sur Internet, le(s) livre(s) est(sont) bien aussi. La raison est que vous avez cité beaucoup de dates et situations, donc vous devez les lister. Ce serait mieux pour moi aussi que je pourrais le lire être sûre que tout est traduit bien en contexte. Il y a aussi besoin à ne pas être si général, beaucoup d'états n'ont ni les règles si libres ni beaucoup de gens qui sont possesseurs.
Réponse: Correction/oral Bac de mdeneuvi, postée le 05-05-2013 à 10:57:43 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici la liste des données :
1791 = The second amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America.
1840 = Conflict between cowboys and Indians.
1920 = myth of armed gangsters of Chicago.
315 million of residents, for 300 million firearms in circulation .
In COLORADO:
If you are 18, and if you have not commited offenses, you can by a gun.
Students have the right to have a weapon on university campuses.
J’espère que c'est ce que vous attendiez !
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