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Message de floflo27 posté le 16-08-2012 à 21:17:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un travail de vacances en anglais, dont une partie est d'écrire un petit texte sur les summer camps.
Pourriez-vous le corriger s'il vous plaît?
When it's holiday and than the parents working, the children get bored. So they go in the summer camp. It's a tradition in the US. Children sleeping in the tents or in wooden cabine. The day, there are small groups of campers who do a lots of activities like sport of art.
The British government would like that summer camps becomes a tradition in the UK. But a lots of parent can't afford a camps for their children so many teenagers being bored in the holiday.
So the British government created a new summer camp of one week who cost not expensive. The children make new friend and discouvring new activities.
Il y a sûrement beaucoup de fautes...
Un grand merci!
Flo
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-08-2012 21:26
Message de floflo27 posté le 16-08-2012 à 21:17:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un travail de vacances en anglais, dont une partie est d'écrire un petit texte sur les summer camps.
Pourriez-vous le corriger s'il vous plaît?
When it's holiday and than the parents working, the children get bored. So they go in the summer camp. It's a tradition in the US. Children sleeping in the tents or in wooden cabine. The day, there are small groups of campers who do a lots of activities like sport of art.
The British government would like that summer camps becomes a tradition in the UK. But a lots of parent can't afford a camps for their children so many teenagers being bored in the holiday.
So the British government created a new summer camp of one week who cost not expensive. The children make new friend and discouvring new activities.
Il y a sûrement beaucoup de fautes...
Un grand merci!
Flo
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-08-2012 21:26
Réponse: Devoir vacances/aide de nveras, postée le 17-08-2012 à 00:17:32 (S | E)
Hello. I do not want to change a lot your job, then, I'm going to show you only the grammar and spelling mistakes.
When it's holiday and (than) (take it out- it is normally used in comparatives, more than, less than) the parents (working) (are working or have to work), the children get bored. So they go (in) (to) the (a- indefined) summer camp. It's a tradition in the US. Children sleeping in (the) (take it out) tents or in (wooden cabine) (log cabins). The (During the) day, there are small groups of campers who do a lot(s) of activities like (sport of art)(sports or arts).
The British government would like that summer camps becomes a tradition in the UK(.)(comma) But (a lots of parent) (a lot of-or-lots of) can't afford a camp(s) for their children so many teenagers (being)(get) bored in (the)(their) holiday.
So (That's why- For this reason- To solve this problem)the British government created a new summer camp of (only) one week (who cost not expensive)(that is not too expensive- that is cheaper than the others). The children make new friend and discouvring (discovering) ( but you can find a better word)new activities.
The last phrase needs to have a connection with the text, like "Now", "Therefore" "avoiding children".
I hope I could help you. Bye
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Modifié par nveras le 17-08-2012 00:18
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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-08-2012 08:09
Please don't correct the mistakes but just point them out.
Réponse: Devoir vacances/aide de floflo27, postée le 17-08-2012 à 16:40:45 (S | E)
thank you very much!
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