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Correction/créer pub

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/créer pub
Message de donz posté le 07-05-2012 à 16:21:38 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

J'aimerais savoir s'il vous plaît si je n'ai pas fait trop de fautes sur mon sujet. Une création de publicité + descriptif.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

Introduction

We will present you “Revolution”, an excellent coverage of L’OREAL make up. The slogan is “Revolution changes you in a snap... ”

Why a man?
Because make up for men has increase number of made for men products like these to put their best face. But, most of mens are afraid to be unmasked , that’s why some brands want to innovate in discreet make up for men. This advertising is intending to men who want to look polished but NOT PRETTY.

Why this slogan?

The slogan shows that nowadays, Cosmetics section are more and more dedicated to men. Many men secretly wear it every day. And with this slogan, we want to show how natural is to make up. If you see this man on the street, can you guess this man is tattooed like a corpse across the majority of his body? No.

Why this image?
This image makes the comparison between a tatooed man between a ordinary man. But the originality is that is the same man but with make up. This photo must shocking people as the man look very scary with his tatoos and secondly, when he is wearing make up, he looks like a ordinary looking man. We have chosen this photo to underline the comparison between to differents mans. The colors correspond to a contrast with black & white colors. One a one hand, we see the man with tatoos on a white background and on the other hand, an ordinary man on a black background. We wanted to make a modest advert showing an intense and flashy contrast to cause a reaction of the consumers.

What is the message?
By this photo, the message is revealed. The excellent and natural coverage of “REVOLUTION” makeup disguises uber-tattooed Rick Genest, as a relatively ordinary looking guy! This man demonstrates just how good corrective coverage can be.

This photo has 2 differents targets:

First of all, this advertising is intending for man who don’t assume the fact to wear make up and who desire to take the first step to look pollished . And to persuade people that masking the signs of age or imperfections does not make man any less of a guy.

Secondly, it represents a little part of people but it began a real problem. This product is not intented to provide total coverage of skin imperfections such as irregular skin tone,redness, acne scars and hyperpigmentation.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-05-2012 19:54


Réponse: Correction/créer pub de sherry48, postée le 09-05-2012 à 15:59:08 (S | E)
Hello.
We will present _ you “Revolution”, an excellent coverage (is this the right word?) of L’OREAL make up. The slogan is “Revolution changes you in a snap... ”

Why a man?
Because make up for men has increase_ number of made for men products (start with the noun)like these to put _ their best face. But, most of mens are afraid to be unmasked, that’s why some brands want to innovate in discreet make up for men. This advertising is intending to men who want to look polished but NOT PRETTY.

Why this slogan?

The slogan shows that nowadays, Cosmetics section are more and more dedicated to men. Many men secretly wear it every day. And with this slogan, we want to show how natural is to make up. If you see this man on the street, can you guess this man is tattooed like a corpse across the majority of his body? No, _ _.

Why this image?
This image makes the comparison between a tatooed man between a ordinary man. But the originality is that _ is the same man but with make up. This photo must shocking people as the man look very scary with his tatoos and secondly, when he is wearing make up, he looks like a ordinary looking man. (Two separate sentences might be better.)We have chosen this photo to underline the comparison between to differents mans. The colors correspond to a contrast with black & white colors. One a one hand, we see the man with tatoos on a white background and on the other hand, an ordinary man on a black background. We wanted to make a modest advert showing an intense and flashy contrast to cause a reaction of the consumers.

What is the message?
By this photo, the message is revealed. The excellent and natural coverage of “REVOLUTION” makeup disguises uber-tattooed Rick Genest, as a relatively ordinary looking guy! This man demonstrates just how good corrective coverage can be.

This photo has 2 differents targets:

First of all, this advertising is intending for _ man who don’t assume the fact to wear make up and who desire to take the first step to look pollished . And (It's best not to start a sentence with and.) to persuade people that masking the signs of age or imperfections does not make _ man any less of a guy.

Secondly, it represents a little part of people but it began a real problem. This product is not intented to provide total coverage of skin imperfections such as irregular skin tone,redness, acne scars and hyperpigmentation.
I'm sure you will be able to make a lot of improvements in your text. Sherry




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