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Création publicité/correction
Message de tortank posté le 14-04-2012 à 22:47:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai un travail où je dois créer une publicité, donc j'ai choisi un casque. Voilà mon texte, vous en pensez quoi s'il vous plaît?, des nouvelles idées ?
Your old mp3 stops working or gets old? you want change? The headset Philips 'young generation' will revolutionize your life and the musical! A new generation of headphones just released: a 3 in 1 headset. First, impact-resistant, finished changing his headphones every month, the clumsy will love it! It offers better price / quality ratio. In addition, this helmet is completely waterproof, you can swim listening to your favorite music. Imagine yourself in your bathtub or Jacuzzi, you will not be afraid to get wet! Above all, this helmet is equipped with an integrated MP3, finished units and son lying around, you will be completely free. This helmet is available in various colors and for the price of 55 pounds in all supermarkets.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-04-2012 23:33
Message de tortank posté le 14-04-2012 à 22:47:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai un travail où je dois créer une publicité, donc j'ai choisi un casque. Voilà mon texte, vous en pensez quoi s'il vous plaît?, des nouvelles idées ?
Your old mp3 stops working or gets old? you want change? The headset Philips 'young generation' will revolutionize your life and the musical! A new generation of headphones just released: a 3 in 1 headset. First, impact-resistant, finished changing his headphones every month, the clumsy will love it! It offers better price / quality ratio. In addition, this helmet is completely waterproof, you can swim listening to your favorite music. Imagine yourself in your bathtub or Jacuzzi, you will not be afraid to get wet! Above all, this helmet is equipped with an integrated MP3, finished units and son lying around, you will be completely free. This helmet is available in various colors and for the price of 55 pounds in all supermarkets.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-04-2012 23:33
Réponse: Création publicité/correction de notrepere, postée le 15-04-2012 à 00:32:53 (S | E)
BonjourYour old mp3 stops working or gets old?(temps) you want change?(forme interrogative) The headset Philips 'young generation'(ordre des mots) will revolutionize your life and the musical(vocabulaire)! A new generation of headphones just released(temps): a 3 in 1 headset. First, impact-resistant, finished changing his headphones every month(à refaire car cet extrait n'a pas de sens), the clumsy will love it! It offers(pas le bon verbe) better price / quality ratio. In addition, this helmet is completely waterproof, you can swim while listening to your favourite
music. Imagine yourself in your bathtub or Jacuzzi, you will not be afraid to get wet! Above all, this helmet is equipped with an integrated MP3, finished units and son lying around
, you will be completely free. This helmet is available in various colours and for the price of 55 pounds in all supermarkets.Réponse: Création publicité/correction de tortank, postée le 15-04-2012 à 08:35:43 (S | E)
Your old mp3 stopped working or got old? do you want change? The new Philips headsphone : 'young generation' will revolutionize your life and the music ! A new generation of headphones have just been released: a 3 in 1 headsphone.
First, it's impact-resistant. Finish to change his headphones every month, the clumsy will love it! It offers better price/quality ratio. ( ce que j'ai voulu dire c'est, ce casque résiste aux chocs, fini de changer de casques chaque moi ! les maladroits vont l'adorer! il vous offre un meilleur rapport qualité:prix )
In addition, this headsphone is completely waterproof, you can swim while listening to your favorite music. Imagine yourself in your bathtub or Jacuzzi, you will not be afraid to get wet!
Above all, this headsphone is equipped with an MP3, finish knot and thread, you will be completely free.
This headsphone is available in various colors and for the price of 55 pounds in all supermarkets.
Merci beaucoup, mais je suis pas très bon pour choisir les temps, donc pourriez vous faire une petite vérification s'il vous plait. Et vous en pensez quoi au niveau de contenu ?
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-04-2012 08:39
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