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My studies/correction
Message de tsape01 posté le 13-04-2012 à 02:06:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Voici un devoir que j'ai imaginé et que j'ai rédigé. J'aimerais, s'il vous plait, que vous me corrigiez.
NB: Je tiens à préciser que ceci n'est qu'un devoir produit et imaginé par moi. Ce n'est pas un courrier personnel.
Merci pour votre bonne compréhension.
I wrote this letter to my father’s friend who lives in the USA. Last year I spent over there the holidays with my father and now I have taken my exam and I want to continue my studies at the university. For this reason my father would like that I continue my studies in the USA precisely in an American university so I could have a good training and an international certificate. He asks me (my father) to write to him. His name is Simpson. As he lives over there he could help me for example to find a student room or he could also say I live at his home.
Dear Mr. Simpson, My name is Matheo Whatson. I’m the son of Mr. Whatson, your friend with whom you spent the last holiday. As you know I already took my exam and now I want to study Marketing at the university. I have already told it to my father and he said to me that if I want to have a good training it would be better that I do it in the USA because here in our country the students who choose to go to the university haven’t more opportunities to find a work because we make more theory than practical. For example you know how a computer functions because you have read it in some book or your professor has told you during the course but you have never see a machine, you have never touch a computer. Another example. My friend who make a bachelor’s degree told me that every day the professor speak about the fern but he told me he has never been seeing for two years that he does biology at the university. To be sure that you can easily find a work in our country it would be better to do a vocational training. But when you have a certificate of a vocational training and if you want to travel in another country for example Germany, that certificate won’t be recognised and will even be devalorized. My father told me that you can help me to find a room where I could live there and also a university where I could continued my studies.
With kindest regards,
Matheo whatson
Thank you very much for all your corrections.
tsape01
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-04-2012 06:11
Message de tsape01 posté le 13-04-2012 à 02:06:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Voici un devoir que j'ai imaginé et que j'ai rédigé. J'aimerais, s'il vous plait, que vous me corrigiez.
NB: Je tiens à préciser que ceci n'est qu'un devoir produit et imaginé par moi. Ce n'est pas un courrier personnel.
Merci pour votre bonne compréhension.
I wrote this letter to my father’s friend who lives in the USA. Last year I spent over there the holidays with my father and now I have taken my exam and I want to continue my studies at the university. For this reason my father would like that I continue my studies in the USA precisely in an American university so I could have a good training and an international certificate. He asks me (my father) to write to him. His name is Simpson. As he lives over there he could help me for example to find a student room or he could also say I live at his home.
Dear Mr. Simpson, My name is Matheo Whatson. I’m the son of Mr. Whatson, your friend with whom you spent the last holiday. As you know I already took my exam and now I want to study Marketing at the university. I have already told it to my father and he said to me that if I want to have a good training it would be better that I do it in the USA because here in our country the students who choose to go to the university haven’t more opportunities to find a work because we make more theory than practical. For example you know how a computer functions because you have read it in some book or your professor has told you during the course but you have never see a machine, you have never touch a computer. Another example. My friend who make a bachelor’s degree told me that every day the professor speak about the fern but he told me he has never been seeing for two years that he does biology at the university. To be sure that you can easily find a work in our country it would be better to do a vocational training. But when you have a certificate of a vocational training and if you want to travel in another country for example Germany, that certificate won’t be recognised and will even be devalorized. My father told me that you can help me to find a room where I could live there and also a university where I could continued my studies.
With kindest regards,
Matheo whatson
Thank you very much for all your corrections.
tsape01
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-04-2012 06:11
Réponse: My studies/correction de notrepere, postée le 13-04-2012 à 04:19:19 (S | E)
BonjourI wrote this letter to my father’s friend who lives in the USA. Last year I spent over there
(mal placé) the holidays with my father and now I have taken my exam and I want to continue my studies at the university. For this reason my father would like that I continue my studies in the USA precisely in (ou 'at') an American university so I could have a good training(pas les bons mots) and an international certificate. He asks(temps) me (my father) to write to him. His name is Simpson. As he lives over there, he could help me for example(mal placé) to find a student room(pas les bons mots ; student housing ou a dorm room, etc.) or he could also say I live at his home. Dear Mr. Simpson,
My name is Matheo Whatson. I’m the son of Mr. Whatson, your friend with whom you spent the last holiday. As you know, I already took
(temps; à cause du mot 'already' il faut le present perfect) my exam and now I want to study Marketing at the University (Une université particulière). I have already told it to my father and he said to me that if I want to have a good training it would be better that I do it in the USA because here in our country the students who choose to go to the university haven’t more opportunities to find a work because we make more theory than practical.(phrase maladroite; il faut refaire) For example you know how a computer functions because you have read it in some book or your professor has told you during the course but you have never see(temps) a machine, you have never touch(temps) a computer. Another example. My friend who make(verbe et temps) a bachelor’s degree told me that every day the professor speak(accorde) about the fern but he told me he has never been seeing(temps) for two years that he does biology at the university. To be sure that you can easily find a work in our country it would be better to do a vocational training. But when you have a certificate of a vocational training and if you want to travel to another country for example Germany, that certificate won’t be recognised and will even be devalorized. My father told me that you can help me to find a room where I could live there and also a university where I could continued(temps) my studies.Réponse: My studies/correction de tsape01, postée le 14-04-2012 à 18:05:01 (S | E)
Bonsoir.
Merci pour votre correction. Voici ce que j'ai pu en tirer.
I wrote this letter to my father’s friend who lives in the USA. Last year I spent the holidays over there with my father and now I have taken my exam and I want to continue my studies at the university. For this reason my father would like that I continue my studies in the USA precisely at an American university so I could have an excellent vocational training and an international certificate. He has asked ( temps: Cette fois j’utilise le present perfect car l’action continue dans le present.) me (my father) to write to him. His name is Simpson. As he lives over there, he could help me to find for example a dorm room or he could also say I live at his home.
Dear Mr. Simpson,
My name is Matheo Whatson. I’m the son of Mr. Whatson, your friend with whom you spent the last holiday. As you know, I have already taken my exam and now I want to study Marketing at the University (Une université particulière). I have already told it to my father and he said that if I wish to have an excellent vocational training it would be better to continue my studies in the USA because the students who choose to go to the university here in our country haven’t more opportunities to find a work because there is more theory than practice. ( La phrase: Est-elle juste) For example you know how a computer functions because you have read it in some book or your professor has told you during the course but you have never seen a machine, you have never touched a computer. Another example. My friend who did a bachelor’s degree told me that every day the professor speaks about the fern but he told me he had never been seeing ( temps: C’est juste?) for two years that he does biology at the university. To be sure that you can easily find work in our country it would be better to do a vocational training. But when you have a certificate of a vocational training and if you want to travel to another country for example Germany, that certificate won’t be recognised and will even be devalorized ( Je voudrais dire: dévaloriser. Car je sais que “devaluate” n’est pas approprié ici.). My father told me that you can help me find a room where I could live there and also a university where I could continue my studies.
With kindest regards,
Matheo whatson
Thank you very much for all your corrections.
tsape01
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-04-2012 21:01
Réponse: My studies/correction de notrepere, postée le 15-04-2012 à 00:53:08 (S | E)
BonjourVotre texte est beaucoup mieux.
Dear Mr. Simpson,
My name is Matheo Whatson. I’m the son of Mr. Whatson, your friend with whom you spent the last holiday. As you know, I have already taken my exam and now I want to study Marketing at the University (Une université particulière). I have already
(1) Il est préférable de dire pourquoi les universités américaines sont préférables au lieu de pourquoi les universités françaises ne sont pas préférables. I want to attend an American university because... instead of: French universities do this and this and this and I don't like that. Voyez-vous la différence entre les deux ?
Réponse: My studies/correction de tsape01, postée le 15-04-2012 à 19:29:48 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
je vois maintenant la différence. Grand merci à vous "notrepere" pour votre correction.
Respectueusement
tsape01
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