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Production écrite/correction
Message de chax posté le 05-02-2012 à 16:53:47
Bonjour, (ou bonsoir selon l'heure :p ),
J'aurais aimer que l'on me corrige ma production écrite svp... Là voici :
Dear Sarah,
I am student on a campus today where rumours roam for several days on a mysterious urban legend. I thus write you to tell you this story and to ask for your opinion. I recently heard about the story of a girl who would have been found dead on my campus, ten years ago. By wanting to lead my investigation, I discovered that she would have been found dead in two chambers of mine. Continued by another student named John of another nearby campus, she would have been violated by the student then stabbed by the friend of this one. Apparently, this student never was to find for lack of investigation criminal but he would have killed her because her girlfriend who to find too beautiful Alice did not love her and was afraid that this one of seizes of her friend who get closer to her little by little. Both students saw each other apparently except the campus to make photos, what does not have more to the friend of the student. She thus decided to kill her thanks to a Machiavellian plan where her boyfriend had a big role. So, he had to try to pick up her so that she invites him he and her friend to make some photos in her university chamber. Now, him violated her because he wished it too much since their meeting. But Jessica, the girlfriend of John did not appreciate it and killed Alice without any concern. She would so have been found dead to violate and half naked in her own bed, but this story was never verified …
I find this rather dreadful story even if I have difficulty in believing in it. For me, this story is only an urban legend but it countered all the same terrible. You imagine if it would really arrive there? I think that it is inspired all the same by a true story which would have been diverted by numerous persons. This legend is only the fruit of a too overflowing imagination. This invention turns all the same out to be a very good scenario, we could almost play this legend in movie … Of what do you think of it?
Do you also know urban legends on your campus? Otherwise, how you do go since our last meeting? Where do you cross spend your studies? Do they go well? Did you make of new knowledge? Tell me everything of your new life! From my part, I go leaves you because I have some more of work in front of me. I am a little overloaded with the work at the university because of the examinations which approach. Kisses and in very soon.
Merci d'avance aux gens qui auront le courage de me corriger (et de si possible m'expliquer pourquoi c'est faux). Bonne journée (ou bonne soirée) à tous. Kiss.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 05-02-2012 18:44
Message de chax posté le 05-02-2012 à 16:53:47
Bonjour, (ou bonsoir selon l'heure :p ),
J'aurais aimer que l'on me corrige ma production écrite svp... Là voici :
Dear Sarah,
I am student on a campus today where rumours roam for several days on a mysterious urban legend. I thus write you to tell you this story and to ask for your opinion. I recently heard about the story of a girl who would have been found dead on my campus, ten years ago. By wanting to lead my investigation, I discovered that she would have been found dead in two chambers of mine. Continued by another student named John of another nearby campus, she would have been violated by the student then stabbed by the friend of this one. Apparently, this student never was to find for lack of investigation criminal but he would have killed her because her girlfriend who to find too beautiful Alice did not love her and was afraid that this one of seizes of her friend who get closer to her little by little. Both students saw each other apparently except the campus to make photos, what does not have more to the friend of the student. She thus decided to kill her thanks to a Machiavellian plan where her boyfriend had a big role. So, he had to try to pick up her so that she invites him he and her friend to make some photos in her university chamber. Now, him violated her because he wished it too much since their meeting. But Jessica, the girlfriend of John did not appreciate it and killed Alice without any concern. She would so have been found dead to violate and half naked in her own bed, but this story was never verified …
I find this rather dreadful story even if I have difficulty in believing in it. For me, this story is only an urban legend but it countered all the same terrible. You imagine if it would really arrive there? I think that it is inspired all the same by a true story which would have been diverted by numerous persons. This legend is only the fruit of a too overflowing imagination. This invention turns all the same out to be a very good scenario, we could almost play this legend in movie … Of what do you think of it?
Do you also know urban legends on your campus? Otherwise, how you do go since our last meeting? Where do you cross spend your studies? Do they go well? Did you make of new knowledge? Tell me everything of your new life! From my part, I go leaves you because I have some more of work in front of me. I am a little overloaded with the work at the university because of the examinations which approach. Kisses and in very soon.
Merci d'avance aux gens qui auront le courage de me corriger (et de si possible m'expliquer pourquoi c'est faux). Bonne journée (ou bonne soirée) à tous. Kiss.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 05-02-2012 18:44
Réponse: Production écrite/correction de gerondif, postée le 05-02-2012 à 17:14:00
Bonjour,
quand je vois que .......
"poursuivie par un autre étudiant " est traduit par: "Continued by another student ",
en voulant continuer: "by wanting...."
trouvée morte à deux chambres de la mienne: "in two chambers of mine"
en dehors du campus: except the campus
ce qui n'a pas plu (du verbe plaire):what does not have more
lui la viola: him violated her
elle paraît horrible( du verbe paraître, pas du verbe parer un coup (to counter):it countered all the same terrible.
une histoire vraie détournée par des gens: true story which would have been diverted by numerous persons.(mais là, on est sur la route!!)
Comment tu vas depuis notre dernière rencontre ? how you do go since our last meeting?
Où tu crois passer tes études ? (du verbe croire, pas la croix )Where do you cross spend your studies?
As-tu fait de nouvelles connaissances? Did you make of new knowledge?
Une dernière friandise: à très bientôt !! in very soon.
....j'ai des doutes sur votre façon de traduire.
J'ai pris beaucoup de plaisir à décortiquer les mécanismes du traducteur automatique,c'est un peu comme une enquête linguistique ou un gag mais honnêtement, vous vous moquez du monde ! Au fait, c'était quel traducteur?
Un anglophone ne comprendrait pas la moitié du texte, il faut lire le français en transparence pour le comprendre.
Merci pour le "kiss" quand même ! Je préférerais que vous soyez moins affectueuse et un peu plus professionnelle dans votre traduction.
Réponse: Production écrite/correction de chax, postée le 05-02-2012 à 17:19:52
C'est le traducteur d'une fille qui est tellement nul en anglais qu'elle traduit du mot à mot ... ca vous vas comme reponse ? Je suis désolée d'être aussi nulle mais j'aimerais vraiment beaucoup beaucoup beaucoup m'améliorer...
Réponse: Production écrite/correction de gerondif, postée le 05-02-2012 à 17:25:46
Hello,
oui, mais le site ne corrige pas les productions d'un traducteur automatique, alors que vos propres erreurs personnelles l'auraient été.
Je suis sûr que vous connaissez "How are you ?" et "see you soon" par exemple.
Réponse: Production écrite/correction de chax, postée le 05-02-2012 à 17:28:40
Maintenant que vous le dite... how are you c'est bien comment ca va ? Et see you soon : la traduction d'à bientôt ?
Réponse: Production écrite/correction de gerondif, postée le 05-02-2012 à 17:39:37
Eh oui !
autre cours de base:
je suis prof: 3 mots.
I am a teacher: 4 mots. Pourquoi ?
Parce que on met un article indéfini devant les noms de métiers:
je suis étudiante: I am a student.
Il est electricien: He is an electrician.
Réponse: Production écrite/correction de lucile83, postée le 05-02-2012 à 18:43:53
Hello chax,
Non seulement vous utilisez un traducteur mais vous faites preuve d'une légère insolence envers un membre, professeur, qui tente de vous remettre dans le droit chemin.
Si vous voulez que votre texte soit corrigé, refaites une traduction personnelle et repostez.
En attendant votre topic est fermé.
Regards.
