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Conservation/correction
Message de lyly1962 posté le 15-01-2012 à 15:24:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je viens de faire une rédaction sur le thème "Conservation". Pouvez-vous me dire ce que vous en pensez s'il vous plait ?
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide. J'ai un test mardi et ça m'aiderait beaucoup si vous pouviez me donner votre avisavant lundi.
Très bon dimanche
Lilly
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I’m going to explain what I think about some ideas to conserve our planet. Some ideas have been realized and others not.
Firstly and for a few years now, I have started to sort out our household waste. Then, I take glass, paper and plastic in a containers park to make them recycling. I think that everybody should do the same thing.
Secondly, I replaced a few incandescent bulbs by energy-saving lamps. But I didn’t change the corridor lamps because this type of bulb takes a few minutes to heat and therefore, it is economical only if it is turned on for at least 5 minutes.
Another idea I have realized for next year, I turn my thermostat down three degrees in the winter and up three degrees in the summer because this practice can prevent the emission of carbon dioxide. I think these ideas are easy to realize; you should just dress a little warmer in winter.
A different idea is to wash and rinse your clothes with cold water. It would be a good idea but you must be careful and you cannot wash woollen clothes in cold water because they will shrink. Personally, I prefer washing my clothes at 30 degrees.
As regards consuming local produce and organic product, in my mind, it’s could be a good idea but they are often too expensive. So, it is not a good idea for your wallet! On the other hand, if government could reduce their taxes more people would buy them.
In conclusion, there are a lot of things to do to conserve our planet but we must be careful with the decisions we take. If each of us makes an effort the world will feel better.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2012 19:38
Message de lyly1962 posté le 15-01-2012 à 15:24:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je viens de faire une rédaction sur le thème "Conservation". Pouvez-vous me dire ce que vous en pensez s'il vous plait ?
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide. J'ai un test mardi et ça m'aiderait beaucoup si vous pouviez me donner votre avis
Très bon dimanche
Lilly
-------------------------------
I’m going to explain what I think about some ideas to conserve our planet. Some ideas have been realized and others not.
Firstly and for a few years now, I have started to sort out our household waste. Then, I take glass, paper and plastic in a containers park to make them recycling. I think that everybody should do the same thing.
Secondly, I replaced a few incandescent bulbs by energy-saving lamps. But I didn’t change the corridor lamps because this type of bulb takes a few minutes to heat and therefore, it is economical only if it is turned on for at least 5 minutes.
Another idea I have realized for next year, I turn my thermostat down three degrees in the winter and up three degrees in the summer because this practice can prevent the emission of carbon dioxide. I think these ideas are easy to realize; you should just dress a little warmer in winter.
A different idea is to wash and rinse your clothes with cold water. It would be a good idea but you must be careful and you cannot wash woollen clothes in cold water because they will shrink. Personally, I prefer washing my clothes at 30 degrees.
As regards consuming local produce and organic product, in my mind, it’s could be a good idea but they are often too expensive. So, it is not a good idea for your wallet! On the other hand, if government could reduce their taxes more people would buy them.
In conclusion, there are a lot of things to do to conserve our planet but we must be careful with the decisions we take. If each of us makes an effort the world will feel better.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2012 19:38
Réponse: Conservation/correction de dragonfly69, postée le 15-01-2012 à 17:23:54 (S | E)
Hi Lyly !!
Voici les petites corrections que j'apporterais à votre travail.
Vous utilisez à plusieurs reprises le verbe "realize" qui signifie "réaliser", "se rendre compte". Or, il me semble que vous souhaitez exprimer le fait que vos idées ont été mises en application, concrètement. J'utiliserais donc à la place de "realize" l'expression "put into practice" qui me paraît plus appropriée.
Dans le deuxième paragraphe, pour le segment de phrase "I take ... in a containers park", j'emploierais la préposition "to", et non "in". En effet, "to" semble plus approprié dans la mesure où vous exprimez une idée de mouvement.
Quant à l'expression "to make them recycling", je dirais plutôt "to have them recycled".
En ce qui concerne le troisième paragraphe, "heat" n'est pas le mot le plus approprié ; on peut dire à la place "warm up to full brightness" ou tout simplement "warm up".
Dans l'avant-dernier paragraphe, vous écrivez "it’s could be", ce qui est gramaticalement faux. Ecrivez "it could be".
Et on mettra "the" devant "governement".
Quant au dernier paragraphe, en anglais on dit "we make (decisions)" et non "take".
J'espère que ces éléments de correction vous aurons aidé.
N'hésitez pas à m'envoyer un message si vous avez des questions.
Cordialement,
dragonfly69
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2012 19:39
Merci pour votre participation mais il est préférable de signaler les fautes, et d'apporter son aide plutôt que de faire le travail qui n'aura plus qu'à être recopié.
Cordialement.
Réponse: Conservation/correction de lyly1962, postée le 15-01-2012 à 18:09:13 (S | E)
Bonjour,
je vous remercie pour vos corrections qui me seront très utiles. J'ai corrigé mon texte en fonction de vos observations qui sont toutes compréhensibles. xxx
Je vous souhaite un excellent dimanche.
Lilly
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2012 19:41
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