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Cover letter/correction
Message de jadep posté le 15-11-2011 à 22:08:49 (S | E | F)
Hello !
I am writing a cover letter in English but I am not a native, so I would like to knowif whether I made mistakes.
Dear Mr XX
As a second year student at the private faculty of social sciences of [my city], I am writing to enquire about the possibility of obtaining a work placement in your team. My programm foccuses on journalism and communications, and as radio courses particularly caught my attention, I am looking for a six-month internship in this domain, starting next June 2012.
Once my bachelor degree completed, I hope to enter a prestigious journalism master, such as the CELSA or the ESJ. All of those schools require being fluent in english, and I do believe that living six months in London would provide me with an excellent level.
I feel strongly about widening my experience at [the brand's name].
[...]
I am looking for an active role during this placement. Thanks to my activities at (the?) university, my work experiences and the internships I did, I have been able to acquire a wide range of skills in the radio field. Writing articles and press releases, creating radio commercials or using interview techniques are abilities I want to make available for you.
[...]
Please, please, tell me every single tiny mistake!
Thanks a lot
Jade
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Edited by lucile83 on 15-11-2011 23:07
forum
Message de jadep posté le 15-11-2011 à 22:08:49 (S | E | F)
Hello !
I am writing a cover letter in English but I am not a native, so I would like to know
Dear Mr XX
As a second year student at the private faculty of social sciences of [my city], I am writing to enquire about the possibility of obtaining a work placement in your team. My programm foccuses on journalism and communications, and as radio courses particularly caught my attention, I am looking for a six-month internship in this domain, starting next June 2012.
Once my bachelor degree completed, I hope to enter a prestigious journalism master, such as the CELSA or the ESJ. All of those schools require being fluent in english, and I do believe that living six months in London would provide me with an excellent level.
I feel strongly about widening my experience at [the brand's name].
[...]
I am looking for an active role during this placement. Thanks to my activities at (the?) university, my work experiences and the internships I did, I have been able to acquire a wide range of skills in the radio field. Writing articles and press releases, creating radio commercials or using interview techniques are abilities I want to make available for you.
[...]
Please, please, tell me every single tiny mistake!
Thanks a lot
Jade
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 15-11-2011 23:07
forum
Réponse: Cover letter/correction de tanguytao, postée le 24-11-2011 à 15:07:03 (S | E)
As a second year student at the Social Science private College of [my city], I am writing to enquire about the possibility of obtaining a work placement in your team. My programme(GB) program(US) focuses on journalism and communications, and provided radio courses particularly catch my attention, I am looking for a six-month internship in this domain, that would start on June 2012.
Once my bachelor degree is completed, I hope to undertake a prestigious journalism master, such as the CELSA or the ESJ. To enter these schools, I am required to be able to speak English fluently, and I do believe living six months in London would provide for me with an excellent level.
I yearn to widen my experience at [the brand's name].
[...]
I am looking for an active role during this placement. Thanks to my activities at university, my work experiences and to the internships I carried out, I have been able to acquire a wide range of skills concerning the radio field. Writing articles and press releases, creating radio commercials what do you mean ? or using interview techniques are abilities I want to make available for you.
Hi! I improved your letter, but as I'm not english, I can't make sure there aren't any grammar mistake. You'd better make correct your letter by someone else, though. Anyway, I hope I helped you a bit
Réponse: Cover letter/correction de sherry48, postée le 24-11-2011 à 16:50:23 (S | E)
Hello jadep.
Here are a few things to change.
...provided radio courses particularly catch (check to make sure it agrees with your subject) my attention, ...
Once my bachelor (possessive) degree is completed, ...I do believe (simple present tense?)living six months in London would provide for me with (these 2 don't work together) an excellent level.
Writing articles and press releases, creating radio commercials or(and) using interview techniques are abilities I want to make available for you. I think you could change this to indicate that these abilities are strong points that would be helpful to the organization). Sherry
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