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Exposé/lancer une entreprise
Message de ladyia60 posté le 20-10-2011 à 17:18:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un exposé à faire pour demain ou en groupe, nous devons présenter une entreprise que nous lançons.
Je me charge donc de la partie financière, et n'ayant pas un très bon niveau en anglais, je souhaiterais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait corriger mes fautes s'il y en a.
Le texte est le suivant :
So that this project comes true, we needed fund, exactly 50 000€.
Every partner put as personal bottom 7000€.
We thus have to borrow 29 000€ to a bank, HSBC, who supported us in this project of company.
These funds were intended for some domain of the company:
The rent of the premises, the computer hardware, the engineers for the conception of the site as well as the administrative personnel. But you should not forget the part of the budget for copyright, without which our company could not exist.
The concept of the site is to be paid according to the visits. That is that the more the number of subscribers increases, the more profits are big. It is thus necessary to return the attractive site so that that this incites quite typical of nobody to read. The registration(inscription) is free to allow everybody an access to the culture.
En vous remerciant d'avance,
Marie
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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-10-2011 17:48
Message de ladyia60 posté le 20-10-2011 à 17:18:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un exposé à faire pour demain ou en groupe, nous devons présenter une entreprise que nous lançons.
Je me charge donc de la partie financière, et n'ayant pas un très bon niveau en anglais, je souhaiterais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait corriger mes fautes s'il y en a.
Le texte est le suivant :
So that this project comes true, we needed fund, exactly 50 000€.
Every partner put as personal bottom 7000€.
We thus have to borrow 29 000€ to a bank, HSBC, who supported us in this project of company.
These funds were intended for some domain of the company:
The rent of the premises, the computer hardware, the engineers for the conception of the site as well as the administrative personnel. But you should not forget the part of the budget for copyright, without which our company could not exist.
The concept of the site is to be paid according to the visits. That is that the more the number of subscribers increases, the more profits are big. It is thus necessary to return the attractive site so that that this incites quite typical of nobody to read. The registration(inscription) is free to allow everybody an access to the culture.
En vous remerciant d'avance,
Marie
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-10-2011 17:48
Réponse: Exposé/lancer une entreprise de gerondif, postée le 20-10-2011 à 18:02:34 (S | E)
Bonjour,
travaillez un peu votre texte, le traducteur fait des farces, comme par exemple:
des fonds personnels: as personal bottom 7000€.
rendre le site attirant:to return the attractive site
So that this project comes true(mauvais temps, mauvaise structure), we needed fund, exactly 50 000€.
Every partner put as personal bottom 7000€.
We thus have to borrow 29 000€ to a bank, HSBC, who supported us in this project of company.
These funds were intended for some domain (sens? pluriel?)of the company:
The rent of the premises, the computer hardware, the engineers for the conception of the site as well as the administrative personnel. But you should not forget the part of the budget for copyright, without which our company could not exist.
The concept of the site is to be paid (mauvaise construction)according to the visits. That is that (sens? c'est à dire que ?)the more the number of subscribers increases, the more (big donne bigger)profits are big. It is thus necessary to return the attractive site so that that this incites quite typical of nobody to read.(n'a pas de sens) The registration(inscription) is free to allow everybody an access to the culture.
Réponse: Exposé/lancer une entreprise de ladyia60, postée le 20-10-2011 à 19:23:52 (S | E)
So that this project comes true(Je ne sais pas comment faire pour que le temps soit juste), we needed fund, exactly 50 000€.
Every partner put as
We also have to borrow 29 000€ to a bank, HSBC, who supported us in this project of company.
These funds were intended for some domain (sens? pluriel?)of the company:
The rent of the premises, the computer hardware, the engineers for the conception of the site as well as the administrative personnel. But you should not forget the part of the budget for copyright, without which our company could not exist.
The concept of the site is to be paid (mauvaise construction)according to the visits. That is that (Oui je voulais dire "c'est à dire que " )the more the number of subscribers increases, the)profits are bigger. It is necessary so that the website is attractive that is why the free registration. The registration allows an access culture to everybody.
J'ai essayé de modifier ce qui était en rouge mais je n'ai pas réussi à modifier tout ce que vous aviez surligné en rouge.
Pouvons-nous continuer à corriger ensemble s'il vous plait ?
Merci pour les indications que vous m'avez déjà donnés.
Réponse: Exposé/lancer une entreprise de ladyia60, postée le 20-10-2011 à 19:27:19 (S | E)
That is to say est plus approprié peut être que " that is that " ?
Réponse: Exposé/lancer une entreprise de gerondif, postée le 20-10-2011 à 22:23:13 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
In order to make this project come true, we needed funds, exactly 50 000€.
Every partner put as equity 7000€.
We also have(prétérit) to borrow 29 000€ to(en provenance de) a bank, HSBC, who(une banque n'est pas un humain, donc which) supported us in this project of company(faites plutôt un nom composé).
These funds were intended for some domain** (pluriel?)of the company:
The rent of the premises, the computer hardware, the engineers for the conception of the site as well as the administrative personnel. But you should not forget the part of the budget for copyright, without which our company could not exist.
The concept of the site is that people pay according to the visits. That is to say the more the number of subscribers increases, the bigger the profits are . We keep the registration free so that the website stays attractive . The registration allows an access to culture to everybody.
Réponse: Exposé/lancer une entreprise de ladyia60, postée le 27-10-2011 à 18:56:16 (S | E)
Je vous remercie beaucoup pour votre aide
Bonne soirée à vous
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