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Message de look-at-hell posté le 04-10-2011 à 18:15:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai une description d'image à faire, et j'aimerais que vous m'apportiez de l'aide s'il vous plaît.. :$ Car il me manque des mots de vocabulaire, et selon ma prof d'anglais, je fais énormément de fautes niveau syntaxe et orthographe..
Alors ma description est celle-ci:
This document is a black and white cartoon. She is to December 4th to December 10th (par) Mike Smith; Las Vegas Sun; King features Syndicate. It deals with the theme of the addiction of internet. At first, let's start with the description of the document to end with my own opinion about the Topic.
On the cartoon, on the left there is the parents on a sofa. The fater's boy listen a newspaper (demande à) his son : "Billy did you do your Homework ?" and the mother him speak she says : "Try texting him". On the right, there is a boy on a other sofa which is playing on the computer (soit) he plays on the video games.
Internet, computer or even video games eat the private life the young people. The communication between parents is the child is impossible. They haven't social relation with friends or their family. It's a bad addiction. She (empêcher) to live (correctement). He contain about hilselves (Il se renferme sur lui-même).
The aim on this picture is to shock to alert on the "danger" of childreen or even adults which play on the computer or video games. Addiction of technologie !
My personal opinion is that it's dangerous someone of addiction. Because, he isn't more the difference between the reality and the virtual life.
Je vous remercie d'avance pour votre aide.
Look-at-hell
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2011 18:41
Message de look-at-hell posté le 04-10-2011 à 18:15:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai une description d'image à faire, et j'aimerais que vous m'apportiez de l'aide s'il vous plaît.. :$ Car il me manque des mots de vocabulaire, et selon ma prof d'anglais, je fais énormément de fautes niveau syntaxe et orthographe..
Alors ma description est celle-ci:
This document is a black and white cartoon. She is to December 4th to December 10th (par) Mike Smith; Las Vegas Sun; King features Syndicate. It deals with the theme of the addiction of internet. At first, let's start with the description of the document to end with my own opinion about the Topic.
On the cartoon, on the left there is the parents on a sofa. The fater's boy listen a newspaper (demande à) his son : "Billy did you do your Homework ?" and the mother him speak she says : "Try texting him". On the right, there is a boy on a other sofa which is playing on the computer (soit) he plays on the video games.
Internet, computer or even video games eat the private life the young people. The communication between parents is the child is impossible. They haven't social relation with friends or their family. It's a bad addiction. She (empêcher) to live (correctement). He contain about hilselves (Il se renferme sur lui-même).
The aim on this picture is to shock to alert on the "danger" of childreen or even adults which play on the computer or video games. Addiction of technologie !
My personal opinion is that it's dangerous someone of addiction. Because, he isn't more the difference between the reality and the virtual life.
Je vous remercie d'avance pour votre aide.
Look-at-hell
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Modifié par lucile83 le 04-10-2011 18:41
Réponse: Description/ image de bulsara_berte, postée le 04-10-2011 à 18:28:54 (S | E)
bonjour,
voici quelques indications pour vous aider:
'This document is a black and white cartoon. She (Pronom sujet) is (il manque un verbe) to (erreur de préposition) December 4th to December 10th (par => dictionnaire en ligne en double-cliquant sur n'importe quel mot de la page) Mike Smith; Las Vegas Sun; King features Syndicate (sens?). It deals with the theme of the addiction of (erreur de préposition) internet. At first (préposition inutile), let's start with the description of the document to end with my own opinion about the Topic.
On the cartoon, on the left ( on peut simplifier, tournure chargée) there is ( déjà, le verbe doit être accordé avec le sujet auquel il réfère, de plus, ici, que font les parents? ils sont assis donc...étoffez un peu plutôt que 'there is') the parents on a sofa. The fater's boy
listen a newspaper ( il écoute un journal en papier? voc à chercher...) (demande à => dictionnaire) his son : "Billy did you do your Homework ?" and the mother him speak ( revoir la construction de ' to speak') she says : "Try texting him". On the right, there is a boy on a other sofa which ( erreur de relatif, ici c'est un humain) is playing on the computer (soit) he plays on the video games.Internet, computer or even video games eat ( un peu calqué sur le français) the private life (il manque une préposition)...the young people. The communication between parents is (? is? calque)the child is impossible. They haven't social relation with friends or their family. It's a bad addiction. She (empêcher=> dico) to live (correctement=> dico). He contain about hilselves (Il se renferme sur lui-même=> dico).
The aim on ( préposition) this picture is to shock to alert on the "danger" of childreen or even adults which (relatif= humain) play on the computer or video games. Addiction of technologie !
My personal opinion is that it's dangerous someone of addiction (mal dit). Because, he isn't (verbe à revoir) more the difference between the reality and the virtual life.
'
Pensez à utiliser le dictionnaire en ligne ( double clic) et réfléchissez à la fonction grammaticale du mot dont vous avez besoin...
Courage
Bulsara
Réponse: Description/ image de look-at-hell, postée le 04-10-2011 à 19:14:51 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, j'ai corrigé les fautes grâce à votre aide. Mais je ne sais pas si j'ai fais mieux ou pire encore.. Pourriez-vous me relire ?
This document is a black and white cartoon. It is between December 4th to December 10th by Mike Smith; in the Las Vegas Sun. It deals with the theme of the addiction about internet. Let's start with the description of the document to end with my own opinion about the Topic.
On the left there are the parents on a sofa. The father's boy read a newspaper his son : "Billy did you do your Homework ?" and the mother him speaking, she says : "Try texting him". On the right, there is a boy on a other sofa who is playing either the computer or he plays on the video games.
Internet, computer or even video games kill the private life at the young people. The communication between parents is childreen is impossible. They haven't social relation with friends or their family. It's a bad addiction. She prevent to lead one's own life. He to become withdrawn on hilselves
The aim of this cartoon is to shock to alert on the "danger" of childreen or even adults who play on the computer or video games. Addiction of technologie !
My personal opinion is that it's dangerous someone of addiction (mal dit). Because, he not see more the difference between the reality and the virtual life.
Merci beaucoup.
Réponse: Description/ image de notrepere, postée le 05-10-2011 à 04:27:20 (S | E)
HelloPour continuer les corrections de b_b. Il reste encore beaucoup de fautes.
This document is a black and white cartoon. It is (1) between December 4th to (1.1) December 10th by Mike Smith; in the Las Vegas Sun. It deals with the theme of the addiction about internet (2). Let's start with the description of the document to (3) end with my own opinion about the Topic.
(1) temps au passé et il manque encore un autre verbe: il a été écrit
(1.1) On dirait: between .... and .... OR from .... to ....
(2) on dirait: addiction to [something] [adaptez...]
(3) la conjonction 'et' vaut mieux
On the left there (4) are the parents (5) on a sofa. The father's boy (6) read (7) a newspaper (8) his son : "Billy did you do your Homework ?" and the mother him speaking, she says (9) : "Try texting him". On the right, there is a boy on a other sofa who is playing either (8) the computer or he plays on the (4) video games.
(4) superflu
(5) placez le sujet avant le verbe
(6) Voulez-vous dire "the boy's father"?
(7) il est en train de lire le journal, c'est à dire la forme continue en anglais
(8) préposition manquante
(9) Qu'est-ce que vous voulez dire?
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Modifié par notrepere le 05-10-2011 06:41
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