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Correction/Music

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Correction/Music
Message from wangboniu posted on 09-05-2011 at 15:27:31 (D | E | F)
Hello!Everyone

Please,could you help me to proofread this essay?
Thank you for your help.

Listening to music is the favorite pastime of many people all over the world. Hence, to entertainment is a main function of music. In addition there is a variety of music, which has special functions for some different purposes.

A main musical function is to be a form of recreation in our modern life. For doing this, ten thousands of talented musicians have dedicated themselves in the music industry to create all kinds of beautiful music. This is a wonderful thing for common people and can let us enjoy more good songs. Another one is the technology such as the internet, radio, CD, MP3, etc., which make the music fill the air. It let people enjoy their favorite music everywhere.

However, music is not limited to entertainment. It can do more to our life. For example, If a woman were pregnant with baby, she would listen to some special easy music to relax her body and help fetus grow up healthily. This activity is very popular in China and most couples like doing it, although it is not cheap and no scientist has proved it. The next example is more interesting, in some farms which are around my hometown, the farmers let their livestock listen to happy music in the lunch time. Then, they find out that pigs grow up more quickly and hens can lay more legs and dairy cows produce more milk. The two examples show us that music is useful to adjust psychological factors.

In summary, the development of music industry has benefited everyone and let people can enjoy beautiful music everyplace. In spite of this, music can do more to our society such as helping mother have a healthy child or letting livestock quickly grow up or produce more.

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Edited by lucile83 on 09-05-2011 18:42



Re: Correction/Music from notrepere, posted on 10-05-2011 at 22:23:09 (D | E)

Hello

Listening to music is the favorite favourite pastime of many people all over the world. Hence, to entertainment is a main function of music. In addition there is a variety of music, which has special functions for some different purposes.

A main musical function is to be a form of recreation in our modern life. For doing this (1), (ten) thousands of talented musicians have dedicated themselves in the music industry to create all kinds of beautiful music. This is a wonderful thing for common people and can let us enjoy more good songs. Another one is (the) technology such as the internet, radio, CD, MP3, etc., which make the music fill the air (2). It let (3) people enjoy their favorite music everywhere.

However, music is not limited to entertainment. It can do more (to) for our life(4). For example, If a woman were pregnant with baby, she would listen to some special easy music to relax her body and to help the fetus grow up healthily. This activity is very popular in China and most couples like doing it, although it is not cheap and no scientist has proved it. The next example is more interesting, in some farms (which are) around my hometown, the farmers let their livestock listen to happy music (in the) at lunchtime. Then, they find out that pigs grow up more quickly and hens can lay more legs and dairy cows produce more milk. The two examples show us that music is useful to adjust psychological factors [I don't understand].

In summary, the development of the music industry has benefited everyone and let people can enjoy beautiful music (everyplace) everywhere. In spite of this, music can do more (to) for our society such as helping mothers have a healthy child or letting livestock quickly grow up or produce more.

(1) One says: To do this
(2) I think you mean: which fills the air with music
(3) subject/verb agreement
(4) plural form




Re: Correction/Music from wangboniu, posted on 11-05-2011 at 10:21:39 (D | E)
Hello,

Thank you for your help.I have corrected mistakes according to your suggestions.

Listening to music is the favorite pastime of many people all over the world. Hence, the entertainment is a main function of music. In addition there is a variety of music, which has special functions for some different purposes.

A main function of music is to be a form of recreation in our modern life. To do this(1), thousands of talented musicians have dedicated themselves in the music industry to create all kinds of beautiful music. This is a wonderful thing for common people and can let us enjoy more good songs. Another one is new technology such as the internet, radio, CD, MP3, etc., which let the music fill the air (2)[I mean there are music everywhere. The air fills with music.]. It allows people to enjoy their favorite music everywhere.

However, music is not limited to entertainment. It can do more for our lives(4). For example, if a woman were pregnant, she would listen to some special easy music to relax her body and to help the fetus grow up healthily. This activity is very popular in China and most couples like doing it, although it is not cheap and no scientist has proved it works. The next example is more interesting, in some farms around my hometown, the farmers let their livestock listen to happy music at lunchtime. Then, they find out that pigs grow up more quickly and hens can lay more legs and dairy cows produce more milk. The two examples show us that music is useful to improve psychological well-being [I don't understand].

In summary, the development of the music industry has benefited everyone and let people can enjoy beautiful music everywhere. In spite of this, music can do more for our society such as helping mothers have a healthy child or letting livestock quickly grow up or produce more.

-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 11-05-2011 10:25




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