<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
Cendrillon/correction
Message de miiiiiss--x3 posté le 02-11-2010 à 16:14:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, Pouvez vous me corriger cette parodie de Cendrillon s'il vous plaît ?
Ca fait 3 fois que je le relis, mais je pense qu'il y a encore des erreurs...
Once upon a time, a little village far away without pollution and safe from noise of the city where the only concern was ecology. In one of the most beautiful houses in this village lived a father and daughter as beautiful as nature. Despite being an attentive father, he thought that love of a mother missing his daughter and decided to marry a woman who also has 2 daughters: Camelia and Rose. But a few months later, Cinderella°s father, ecologist soldier, died during the war and left his daughter with his wife cruel where she was a housekeeper. Nevertheless, she remained the same and also his reason for living: the environment. And she knew that someday she would meet her as a husband like her who will be fascinated by nature.
A few months later, the family received an invitation to a ball ecological in their village. But Camellia and Rose knew nothing about nature. As for Cinderella, she knew what she means; she was very excited about going to the ball. She snatched the letter from her saying she would never go to this evening because she couldn°t dress and didn°t know to dance. Cinderella did not lose hope and decided to go at ball. A few hours later, so sad, little Cinderella ran at his favourite tree.
She began to tell him her troubles, when a strong wind blew and Cinderella, like by magic, found next to her an amazing dress with the nature colours and wooden slippers. She wore the dress and she went at ball. The room was already full; the minister of ecology was at the door to welcome his guests. The people were amazed by her beauty, her grace and incomparable natural. Cinderella admired her great men of Ecology and suddenly, she saw the son of the minister of ecology, Géradium. He approached her and invited her for a dance like in one of her most beautiful dream. After that, They spoke and She was passionate about his ideas, his speeches. But she ran away, down the stairs, and lost her slipper.
The next day, Cinderella's sisters were very upset! Who was this girl? Where does she ? So, later in the morning, the stepmother received a phone call saying that the minister's son, insisted to find his beautiful stranger, and for to help him, he would try all the girls who were present during the evening. The minister and his son arrived and both girls were hurried to try the slipper, but it wasn°t. Then he asked to Cinderella to try it, she sat down and slipped. Finally, they could all see that the girl to the ball was Cinderella. They went with her, and pursued their dream of ecology together.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 02-11-2010 16:35
Titre
Message de miiiiiss--x3 posté le 02-11-2010 à 16:14:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, Pouvez vous me corriger cette parodie de Cendrillon s'il vous plaît ?
Ca fait 3 fois que je le relis, mais je pense qu'il y a encore des erreurs...
Once upon a time, a little village far away without pollution and safe from noise of the city where the only concern was ecology. In one of the most beautiful houses in this village lived a father and daughter as beautiful as nature. Despite being an attentive father, he thought that love of a mother missing his daughter and decided to marry a woman who also has 2 daughters: Camelia and Rose. But a few months later, Cinderella°s father, ecologist soldier, died during the war and left his daughter with his wife cruel where she was a housekeeper. Nevertheless, she remained the same and also his reason for living: the environment. And she knew that someday she would meet her as a husband like her who will be fascinated by nature.
A few months later, the family received an invitation to a ball ecological in their village. But Camellia and Rose knew nothing about nature. As for Cinderella, she knew what she means; she was very excited about going to the ball. She snatched the letter from her saying she would never go to this evening because she couldn°t dress and didn°t know to dance. Cinderella did not lose hope and decided to go at ball. A few hours later, so sad, little Cinderella ran at his favourite tree.
She began to tell him her troubles, when a strong wind blew and Cinderella, like by magic, found next to her an amazing dress with the nature colours and wooden slippers. She wore the dress and she went at ball. The room was already full; the minister of ecology was at the door to welcome his guests. The people were amazed by her beauty, her grace and incomparable natural. Cinderella admired her great men of Ecology and suddenly, she saw the son of the minister of ecology, Géradium. He approached her and invited her for a dance like in one of her most beautiful dream. After that, They spoke and She was passionate about his ideas, his speeches. But she ran away, down the stairs, and lost her slipper.
The next day, Cinderella's sisters were very upset! Who was this girl? Where does she ? So, later in the morning, the stepmother received a phone call saying that the minister's son, insisted to find his beautiful stranger, and for to help him, he would try all the girls who were present during the evening. The minister and his son arrived and both girls were hurried to try the slipper, but it wasn°t. Then he asked to Cinderella to try it, she sat down and slipped. Finally, they could all see that the girl to the ball was Cinderella. They went with her, and pursued their dream of ecology together.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 02-11-2010 16:35
Titre
Réponse: Cendrillon/correction de notrepere, postée le 05-11-2010 à 02:56:23 (S | E)
Hello! OK, here we go...Once upon a time, [il y avait] a little village far away without pollution and safe from noise of the city where the only concern was ecology. In one of the most beautiful houses in this village lived a father and daughter as beautiful as nature. Despite being an attentive father, he thought that love of a mother missing his daughter [cette phrase n'a pas de sens] and decided to marry a woman who also has [passé] 2 daughters: Camelia and Rose. But a few months later, Cinderella's father, ecologist soldier, died during the war and left his daughter with his wife cruel where she was a housekeeper [cette phrase n'a pas de sens]. Nevertheless, she remained the same and also his reason for living [cette phrase n'est pas claire]: the environment. And she knew that someday she would meet her as a husband like [cette phrase n'est pas claire] her who will be fascinated by nature.
A few months later, the family received an invitation to a ball ecological [ordre des mots est bizarre; 'an ecological ball'?] in their village. But Camellia and Rose knew nothing about nature. As for Cinderella, she knew what she means; she was very excited about going to the ball. She snatched the letter from her saying she would never go to this evening because she couldn°t dress [non, elle n'a pas de robe, n'est-ce pas? ] and didn°t know how to dance. Cinderella did not lose hope and decided to go at ball. A few hours later, so sad, little Cinderella ran at his favourite tree [pas 'his'; "run at" est bizarre].
Il faut poster le texte français pour comprendre ce que vous voulez dire.
<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
