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Parents and children's choices
Message de delta6 posté le 01-10-2010 à 17:39:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je viens d'écrire une dissertation (Sujet du bac 2010), et j'aimerais savoir si mes formulations sont correctes.
Voici ce que j'ai écrit :
Should parents interfere with their children’s choices?
(Introduction)
Generally, parents want the hapiness of their childrens. Consequently, they have to intervene in the choices of their kids. They can help them, or advise them. Indeed, parents had a experience of the life, unlike kids, and they are useful for decision of a child. But, to oblige their childrens to make something which they do no want, and not is good. We must weigh the pros and cons, by to give examples.
(1ère partie : Le pour)
Firstly, parents have for objective to bring up correctly their progeny. To see to it that childrens succeed in the life. Especially for their schooling. But also of the life generally, as the error not to be committed. So, the advice of parents is important for the children, because they have an experience of the life. For example, when a parent punished his son, it's often for this good, for he is educated, and for he have values. Moreover, parents can to speak of the importance of the school studies. For example, a father who missed his school studies and who has a little interesting employment, can convice her child to have no same, by studying. It's the good side of the parent's opinion.
(2ème partie, Le contre)
However, parents doesn't have to go against the decision of their kids. A child should make a lot of choices, according to his envy and passions. I am well aware that a kid is immature to decide of his future, but parents doesn't have to oblige his children to make something that he doesn't want. In the sens of, for instance, a parent force his kid to do sport, as a tennis, because he had not the possibilité of making it when he was young.
For these reasons, parents should advise, but no oblige their children.
(Conclusion)
To conclude, i would say that parent's advices is very important especially when a child hesitates in his decision, but this decision must be taken with his regard and envy. Unlike with the preferences of their parents, which are sometimes not the same of their kids.
Si vous avez quelque chose à modifier, une formulation, une syntaxe, un mot, ou une phrase, n'hésitez pas à me le faire remarquer. Ou si vous avez un conseil, quelque chose que vous n'auriez pas mis ou quelque chose que vous auriez mis.
Je vous remercie d'avance
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-10-2010 17:45
+ titre + forum
Message de delta6 posté le 01-10-2010 à 17:39:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je viens d'écrire une dissertation (Sujet du bac 2010), et j'aimerais savoir si mes formulations sont correctes.
Voici ce que j'ai écrit :
Should parents interfere with their children’s choices?
(Introduction)
Generally, parents want the hapiness of their childrens. Consequently, they have to intervene in the choices of their kids. They can help them, or advise them. Indeed, parents had a experience of the life, unlike kids, and they are useful for decision of a child. But, to oblige their childrens to make something which they do no want, and not is good. We must weigh the pros and cons, by to give examples.
(1ère partie : Le pour)
Firstly, parents have for objective to bring up correctly their progeny. To see to it that childrens succeed in the life. Especially for their schooling. But also of the life generally, as the error not to be committed. So, the advice of parents is important for the children, because they have an experience of the life. For example, when a parent punished his son, it's often for this good, for he is educated, and for he have values. Moreover, parents can to speak of the importance of the school studies. For example, a father who missed his school studies and who has a little interesting employment, can convice her child to have no same, by studying. It's the good side of the parent's opinion.
(2ème partie, Le contre)
However, parents doesn't have to go against the decision of their kids. A child should make a lot of choices, according to his envy and passions. I am well aware that a kid is immature to decide of his future, but parents doesn't have to oblige his children to make something that he doesn't want. In the sens of, for instance, a parent force his kid to do sport, as a tennis, because he had not the possibilité of making it when he was young.
For these reasons, parents should advise, but no oblige their children.
(Conclusion)
To conclude, i would say that parent's advices is very important especially when a child hesitates in his decision, but this decision must be taken with his regard and envy. Unlike with the preferences of their parents, which are sometimes not the same of their kids.
Si vous avez quelque chose à modifier, une formulation, une syntaxe, un mot, ou une phrase, n'hésitez pas à me le faire remarquer. Ou si vous avez un conseil, quelque chose que vous n'auriez pas mis ou quelque chose que vous auriez mis.
Je vous remercie d'avance
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-10-2010 17:45
+ titre + forum
Réponse: Parents and children's choices de gerondif, postée le 01-10-2010 à 18:22:14 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Should parents interfere with their children’s choices?
1 child, 2 children !! pas de s
(Introduction)
Generally, parents want the hapiness of their childrens. Consequently, they have to intervene in the choices of their kids(gosses ? familier). They can help them, or advise them (de faire quelque chose advise tout seul est bizarre, ou alors "leur donner des conseils"). Indeed, parents had a experience of the life, unlike kids, and they are useful for decision(pluriel, + construction maladroite en of) of a child. But, to oblige(maladroit) their childrens to make something which they do no want, and not is good. We must weigh the pros and cons, by to (cette construction n'existe pas)give examples.
(1ère partie : Le pour)
Firstly, parents have for objective to bring up correctly their progeny (order des mots = français traduit). To see to it that childrens succeed in the life. Especially for their schooling. But also of the life generally, as the error not to be committed (la phrase n'a pas de sens). So, the advice of parents is important for the children, because they have an experience of the life(vous l'avez déjà dit). For example, when a parent punished his son, it's often for this good, for he is educated(pour qu'il soit éduqué?) construction incorrecte), and for he have values(pour qu'il ait des valeurs ? construction incorrecte littérale). Moreover, parents can to speak of the importance of the school studies. For example, a father who missed(mauvais choix de verbe pour "rater" ses études) his school studies and who has a little interesting employment(mot-à-mot incorrect pour un métier un peu intéressant), can convice her(un père donc son enfant à lui, pas à elle) child to have no same(pas pareil ? incorrect), by studying. It's the good side of the parent's(un seul parent ?) opinion.
(2ème partie, Le contre)
However, parents doesn't(pluriel) have to go against the decision of their kids. A child should make a lot of choices, according to his envy and passions. I am well aware that a kid is immature to decide of his future, but parents doesn't have to oblige (maladroit)his children to make something that (children est pluriel et he singulier) he doesn't want. In the sens of(traduction littérale et incorrecte de "dans le sens que ..."), for instance, a parent forces his kid to do sport, as a tennis, because he had not the possibilité of making(pratiquer un sport: to practise)) it when he was young.
For these reasons, parents should advise, but no oblige their children (à quoi faire? cod de oblige).
(Conclusion)
To conclude, i would say that parent(un seul ?)'s advices is very important especially when a child hesitates in his decision, but this decision must be taken with his regard and envy. Unlike with the preferences of their parents, which are sometimes not the same of (comparatif: the same as) their kids.
Il y a donc un peu de travail de correction !
Réponse: Parents and children's choices de delta6, postée le 02-10-2010 à 13:26:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci à toi.
Voici mon texte après l'avoir retravaillé :
(Introduction)
Generally, parents want the happiness of their children. Indeed, parents have an experience of the life, unlike kids, so they can help them in their choices , and they are useful for (ou of ?) decision of a child. But, do they have to force their children to make choices ? . We must weigh the pros and cons, by giving examples.
(1ère partie : Le pour)
Firstly, parents have for objective to correctly bring up their progeny, so that they can succeed in life, for their studies, for example . They also want their children to make mistakes as less as possible. So, parents' advices are important for children . For example, when parents punish their children... for their good, their education, and values they have to have. Moreover, parents can talk about the importance of studying. For example, a father who failed in school studies and who don't have the same for their children, who want them to have a good job. It's the good side of parents opinion.
(2ème partie, Le contre)
However, parents shouldn't go againt their kids decisions. Children have to make a lot of choices, according to their hobbies and passion. I am well aware that children are not mature enough to decide about their future, but parents shouldn't force them to do something they don't want to do. As a matter of fact, we can take the instance of parents who want their children to do a sport like tennis, because they didn't have... when they were young.
For these reasons, parents should advise, "but not force or oblige their children to do something".
(Conclusion)
To conclude, i would say that parent's advice are very important especially when children hesitates in their decisions, but these decisions must be taken with their regards and envies. And not according to their parent's preferences, which are sometimes not the same as their childrens.
Réponse: Parents and children's choices de gerondif, postée le 02-10-2010 à 14:29:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Generally, parents want the happiness of their children. Indeed, parents have an experience of the(supprimer) life, unlike kids, so they can help them in their choices , and they are useful for (ou of ?) (leurs décisions sera plus léger)decision of a child. But, do they have to force their children to make choices ? . We must weigh the pros and cons, by giving examples.
(1ère partie : Le pour)
Firstly, parents have for objective to correctly bring up their progeny(mot rare, je ne l'avais jamais vu), so that they can succeed in life, for their studies, for example . They also want their children to make mistakes as less as possible.(mal construit: avec mistakes au pluriel, le mot peu sera "few") So, parents' advices(advice n'accepte pas le pluriel, c'est un mot collectif comme du mobilier..) are important for children . For example, when parents punish their children... for their good, their education, and values they have to have. Moreover, parents can talk about the importance of studying. For example, a father who failed in school studies and who doesn't have(vouloir?) the same for their(sujet : 1 père donc le possessif sera ses enfants, pas leurs enfants) children, who want them to have a good job. It's the good side of parents(cas possessif) opinion.
(2ème partie, Le contre)
However, parents shouldn't go againt their kids(cas possessif) decisions. Children have to make a lot of choices, according to (ne ma parait pas convenir, according to signifie selon au sens de si on veut croire l'opinion de)their hobbies and passion. I am well aware that children are not mature enough to decide about their future, but parents shouldn't force them to do something they don't want to do. As a matter of fact(for instance, for example irait mieux ici), we can take the instance of parents who want their children to do a sport like tennis, because they didn't have... when they were young.
For these reasons, parents should advise, "but not force or oblige their children to do something they don't want to do".
(Conclusion)
To conclude, i would say that parent(mettez les parents au pluriel)'s advice are(advice est un mot singulier à sens pluriel un peu comme: my hair is too long, mes cheveux sont trop longs) very important especially when children hesitates in their decisions, but these decisions must be taken with their regards(mot français mal traduits, vous voulez dire point de vue) and envies. And not according to their parent(au pluriel)'s preferences, which are sometimes not the same as their childrens'.
Réponse: Parents and children's choices de moon_queen, postée le 03-10-2010 à 10:56:46 (S | E)
Bonjour
lucile83 et gerondif ont corrigé presque toutes les fautes. Je reprends juste quelques points (en bleu) du dernier post ^^
(2ème partie, Le contre)
However, parents shouldn't go against their kids(cas possessif) decisions. Children have to make a lot of choices, according to (ne ma parait pas convenir, according to signifie selon au sens de si on veut croire l'opinion de)their hobbies and passions [Je ne comprends pas pourquoi seul "hobby" est au pluriel]. I am well aware that children are not mature enough to decide about their future, but parents shouldn't force them to do something they don't want to do. As a matter of fact(for instance, for example irait mieux ici), we can take the instance of parents who want their children to do a sport like tennis, because they didn't have |... when they were young.| (je pense que la partie après les points de suspension n'est pas nécessaire car c'est plutôt évident vu que l'on parle des enfants)
For these reasons, parents should advise, "but not force or oblige (C'est un peu redondant car forcer et obliger sont synonymes. Choisis un seul des deux.) their children to do something they don't want to |do|". (Je ne crois pas que "do" soit nécessaire mais tu peux le laisser.)
(Conclusion)
To conclude, I would say that parent(mettez les parents au pluriel)'s advice are(advice est un mot singulier à sens pluriel un peu comme: my hair is too long, mes cheveux sont trop longs) very important especially when children hesitate (Je ne vois pas pourquoi il y aurait un "s" à "hesitate" car "children" est au pluriel.) in their decisions, but these decisions must be taken with their regards(mot français mal traduits, vous voulez dire point de vue) and envies. And not according to their parents' (parents au pluriel + cas possessif) preferences, which are sometimes not the same as their childrens'. (Vous ne vous êtes pas trompé ici pourtant XD)
Dans la première partie, tu pourrais remplacer "have for objective to" par "aim at" X)
J'espère vous avoir aidé et ne pas avoir dit de bêtises XD
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