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Correction lettre de motivation
Message de kesa posté le 26-07-2010 à 17:29:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois faire une préinscription pour aller étudier aux Etats Unis. J'ai écrit ma lettre de motivation et j'ai besoin d'une correction de la lettre pour ne pas écrire des bêtises.
Merci d'avance
Dear Sir/Madam,
Coming to get my engineering degree in electrical engineering, I would like to express my deep desire to pursue graduate studies in your university.
Indeed, centers of research and technological innovations, American universities form the actors of a leading nation in science and culture.
After obtaining my two-year diploma in electrical engineering at the Polytechnic school of Dakar, I was selected to continue my graduate studies which allowed me to get my engineering degree. However in order to receive further training, more innovative and in line with my ambitions, I found your training to meet up to my expectations.
Actually, I have always been driven by a genuine desire to make extensive studies in electrical engineering, particularly in the field of research.
That's why I plan to complete my education by a research master in the field of electrical engineering at your university that provides its students with a strong background in a very advanced technology.
This master must allow me to do a doctoral thesis because I've always been attracted to research that for me is like a way to continue my "needs" learning, to satisfy my desire to learn more about the world.
Thus, my passage through your university seems to me a continuation of the efforts I have made to master the rudiments of electrical engineering and is a great opportunity for me to achieve my goals in this area.
Hoping that my application will hold your attention, I beg you, Madam, Sir, accept the assurances of my respectful greetings.
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Modifié par bridg le 26-07-2010 17:43
Divers
Message de kesa posté le 26-07-2010 à 17:29:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois faire une préinscription pour aller étudier aux Etats Unis. J'ai écrit ma lettre de motivation et j'ai besoin d'une correction de la lettre pour ne pas écrire des bêtises.
Merci d'avance
Dear Sir/Madam,
Coming to get my engineering degree in electrical engineering, I would like to express my deep desire to pursue graduate studies in your university.
Indeed, centers of research and technological innovations, American universities form the actors of a leading nation in science and culture.
After obtaining my two-year diploma in electrical engineering at the Polytechnic school of Dakar, I was selected to continue my graduate studies which allowed me to get my engineering degree. However in order to receive further training, more innovative and in line with my ambitions, I found your training to meet up to my expectations.
Actually, I have always been driven by a genuine desire to make extensive studies in electrical engineering, particularly in the field of research.
That's why I plan to complete my education by a research master in the field of electrical engineering at your university that provides its students with a strong background in a very advanced technology.
This master must allow me to do a doctoral thesis because I've always been attracted to research that for me is like a way to continue my "needs" learning, to satisfy my desire to learn more about the world.
Thus, my passage through your university seems to me a continuation of the efforts I have made to master the rudiments of electrical engineering and is a great opportunity for me to achieve my goals in this area.
Hoping that my application will hold your attention, I beg you, Madam, Sir, accept the assurances of my respectful greetings.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 26-07-2010 17:43
Divers
Réponse: Correction lettre de motivation de may, postée le 29-07-2010 à 03:23:10 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Dear Sir/Madam,
Coming to get my engineering degree in electrical engineering, I would like to express my deep desire to pursue graduate studies (in) autre préposition your university.
Indeed,choisir un autre adverbe, et manquer un conjonction centers of research and technological innovations, American universities (form the actors)drôle? of a leading nation in science and culture.
After obtaining my two-year diploma in electrical engineering at the Polytechnic school of Dakar, I was selected to continue my graduate studies which allowed me to get my engineering degree. However besoin de ponctuation in order to receive further training
Actually, I have always been driven by a genuine desire to make extensive studies in electrical engineering, particularly in the field of research.
That's why I plan action dans le présent perfect continuous to complete my education by a research master in the field of electrical engineering at your university that provides its students with a strong background in a (very) utiliser comparatif advanced technology.
This master must autre auxiliaire allow me to do a doctoral thesis because I've always been attracted to research (that for me is like a way) as a way to continue my "needs" manquer un motlearning, to satisfy my desire to learn more about the world.
Thus, my passage through your university seems to me a continuation of all the efforts I have made to master the rudiments of electrical engineering and (is) also a great opportunity (for me) to achieve my goals in this area.
Hoping that my application will hold your attention Your attention would be greatly appreciated, I beg you, Madam, Sir, accept the assurances of my respectful greetings.
(----)not necessary
Bleu suggestion
Your letter is very good then.
Hope this helps,
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Modifié par may le 29-07-2010 03:28
Réponse: Correction lettre de motivation de kesa, postée le 29-07-2010 à 03:31:43 (S | E)
Merci May d'avoir corrigé ma lettre.
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Modifié par willy le 29-07-2010 07:27
Réponse: Correction lettre de motivation de may, postée le 29-07-2010 à 03:36:17 (S | E)
you're very welcome
Réponse: Correction lettre de motivation de willy, postée le 29-07-2010 à 11:19:37 (S | E)
Hello!
Comme entête, j'écrirais : Dear Sir or Madam,
Pour terminer la lettre, j'écrirais (les anglophones ne sont pas friands de formules compliquées !) :
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully, (en fonction de l'entête)
NB: s'il y avait un nom propre (Dear Mr Brown, par exemple), il faudrait écrire : Yours sincerely, .
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