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My internship /correction
Message de bumblebee posté le 03-06-2010 à 11:14:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois rendre ce texte à ma prof d'anglais, est-ce que quelqu'un peut me corriger s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance.
"Internship Summary
My internship is in xxxx, at xxxx, at the headquarters of xxxx. xxxx is a bank and an assurance. It have 1160 employees, 377 000 customers among whom 39 % of members. It is a cooperative bank, which a structure with double entrance. A banking structure with employees and customers. And a structure mutualism with Members, shareholders of the group and the administrators (representative of the customers), elect by these last ones.
My internship had for main topic the administrators. I had must work on software, AZALEE, a software Access. This software manages the administrators with meting, mandates, etc. I had to write a notice about this software and I had to improve it.
I did also two statistical studies, the first one on the administrators to assess their evolution and their characteristics. And the second on the movement of residence - work of the employees within the framework of a assessment carbon, of xxxxxx of xxxxx.
I use Access and Excel. I did not help, because anybody known this software. I didn’t use English in my internship.
The main difficult is the getting in touch of the various services of the xxxx.
I learnt some features of the software Excel and Access, the world of the work with the collaboration with the other services.
I was paid for my internship, xxx € per month. I live in my studio in xxxx, the same of during my course. "
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-06-2010 11:21
Quelques détails effacés car vous êtes sur un forum public.
Message de bumblebee posté le 03-06-2010 à 11:14:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je dois rendre ce texte à ma prof d'anglais, est-ce que quelqu'un peut me corriger s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance.
"Internship Summary
My internship is in xxxx, at xxxx, at the headquarters of xxxx. xxxx is a bank and an assurance. It have 1160 employees, 377 000 customers among whom 39 % of members. It is a cooperative bank, which a structure with double entrance. A banking structure with employees and customers. And a structure mutualism with Members, shareholders of the group and the administrators (representative of the customers), elect by these last ones.
My internship had for main topic the administrators. I had must work on software, AZALEE, a software Access. This software manages the administrators with meting, mandates, etc. I had to write a notice about this software and I had to improve it.
I did also two statistical studies, the first one on the administrators to assess their evolution and their characteristics. And the second on the movement of residence - work of the employees within the framework of a assessment carbon, of xxxxxx of xxxxx.
I use Access and Excel. I did not help, because anybody known this software. I didn’t use English in my internship.
The main difficult is the getting in touch of the various services of the xxxx.
I learnt some features of the software Excel and Access, the world of the work with the collaboration with the other services.
I was paid for my internship, xxx € per month. I live in my studio in xxxx, the same of during my course. "
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-06-2010 11:21
Quelques détails effacés car vous êtes sur un forum public.
Réponse: My internship /correction de gerondif, postée le 03-06-2010 à 16:08:33 (S | E)
Bonjour
votre texte est du français traduit un peu mécaniquement:
j'ai du travailler: I had must work....
une taxe carbone: a assessment carbon
una assurance: an assurance.
une structure mutualiste: a structure mutualism
il y a des parties où ça passe et d'autres pas:
My internship is in xxxx, at xxxx, at the headquarters of xxxx. xxxx is a bank and an assurance. It have 1160 employees, 377 000 customers among whom 39 % of members. It is a cooperative bank, which a structure with double entrance.(mal placé) A banking structure with employees and customers. And a structure mutualism with Members, shareholders of the group and the administrators (representative of the customers), elect by these last ones.(élus par ces derniers...français traduit)
My internship had for main topic (français traduit)the administrators. I had must work on software, AZALEE, a software Access. This software manages the administrators with (français traduit)meetings, mandates, etc. I had to write a notice about this software and I had to improve it.
I did also two statistical studies, the first one on the administrators to assess their evolution and their characteristics. And the second on the movement of residence - work of the employees within the framework of a assessment carbon(ordre des mots et choix du mot taxe), of xxxxxx of xxxxx.
I use Access and Excel. I did not help(on ne m'a pas aidé ?), because anybody known this software. I didn’t use English in my internship.
The main difficult is the getting in touch of the various services of the xxxx.
I learnt some features of the Excel and Access software , the world of the work (le monde du travail ?)with the collaboration with the other services.
I was paid for my internship, xxx € per month. I live in my studio in xxxx, the same of during my course. "
Réponse: My internship /correction de may, postée le 04-06-2010 à 03:26:26 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
De plus, il n'est pas nécessaire de répéter plusieurs fois le mot " software ", car on est supposé de le savoir dans le contexte.
Cordialement
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