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Idealism/professional career /correction
Message de samdogg-13 posté le 23-01-2010 à 12:39:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'ai une expression écrite à rendre pour lundi en anglais et voilà ce que j'ai fait. Pourriez-vous, s'il vous plait, m'aider à corriger les fautes que je ne vois pas. Merci d'avance !
Sujet : Is it possible to combine idealism with a professional career ?
To my opinion, it’s not easy at all to combine idealism and professional career, especially when you want to progress in your hierarchy. Indeed, the society imposes rules and if these rules are in contradictions with your convictions, you have two choices : trespass these limits to have clear conscience or put away your convictions. In the first case, you will be punished and in the second case, you will suffer and regret your acts. You will think that you are just a coward, an egoist.
In your professional career, it’s the same, or probably more difficult. For example, when somebody works in order to be surgeon or doctor, it means he wants to save people’s life and make happy their family. But it’s not always easy, some patients don’t want to be saved for several reasons and the laws forbids this doctor to go against patient’s wishes. So this doctor is in a quandary. He can trespass the law to give a chance at this man to live, because he thinks that dying isn’t the best choice for him. But if he does that, he will lose his job because he did his job, so the other way is to let him dying and regreting for several days, months or years this act.
To my mind, we have two choices in the life : coming to the rescue of people in difficulty or living to make your own way. It’s not possible to conciliate both.
Fortunately, some people are strong enough to take the first choice. These people, who are gathered in association like « Doctors without borders » are struggling against the poverty and diseases like AIDS in Africa. These people take a lot of risk, but they do that for their idealism, for a better world.
To conclude, I think to concretise an idealism, you have to be at 100% every days. It’s not just a hobby, it’s a way of life.
Je répète que je ne demande pas forcément une correction très approfondie, mais juste les principales fautes que j'aurais pu faire et si vous avez des conseils sur le contenu ou les idées, je suis preneur. Merci encore !
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Modifié par bridg le 23-01-2010 12:40
titre
Message de samdogg-13 posté le 23-01-2010 à 12:39:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'ai une expression écrite à rendre pour lundi en anglais et voilà ce que j'ai fait. Pourriez-vous, s'il vous plait, m'aider à corriger les fautes que je ne vois pas. Merci d'avance !
Sujet : Is it possible to combine idealism with a professional career ?
To my opinion, it’s not easy at all to combine idealism and professional career, especially when you want to progress in your hierarchy. Indeed, the society imposes rules and if these rules are in contradictions with your convictions, you have two choices : trespass these limits to have clear conscience or put away your convictions. In the first case, you will be punished and in the second case, you will suffer and regret your acts. You will think that you are just a coward, an egoist.
In your professional career, it’s the same, or probably more difficult. For example, when somebody works in order to be surgeon or doctor, it means he wants to save people’s life and make happy their family. But it’s not always easy, some patients don’t want to be saved for several reasons and the laws forbids this doctor to go against patient’s wishes. So this doctor is in a quandary. He can trespass the law to give a chance at this man to live, because he thinks that dying isn’t the best choice for him. But if he does that, he will lose his job because he did his job, so the other way is to let him dying and regreting for several days, months or years this act.
To my mind, we have two choices in the life : coming to the rescue of people in difficulty or living to make your own way. It’s not possible to conciliate both.
Fortunately, some people are strong enough to take the first choice. These people, who are gathered in association like « Doctors without borders » are struggling against the poverty and diseases like AIDS in Africa. These people take a lot of risk, but they do that for their idealism, for a better world.
To conclude, I think to concretise an idealism, you have to be at 100% every days. It’s not just a hobby, it’s a way of life.
Je répète que je ne demande pas forcément une correction très approfondie, mais juste les principales fautes que j'aurais pu faire et si vous avez des conseils sur le contenu ou les idées, je suis preneur. Merci encore !
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Modifié par bridg le 23-01-2010 12:40
titre
Réponse: Idealism/professional career /correction de gerondif, postée le 23-01-2010 à 15:41:51 (S | E)
Bonjour,
To my opinion,(in my opinion) it’s not easy at all to combine idealism and professional career, especially when you want to progress in your hierarchy. Indeed,
In your professional career, it’s the same, or probably more difficult. For example, when somebody works in order to be a surgeon or a(a devant les noms de métier) doctor, it means he wants to save people’s life(pluriel) and make happy their family(pluriel. mettre happy en dernier). But it’s not always easy, some patients don’t want to be saved for several reasons and the(the law au singulier passe, au pluriel, soit rien , soit our laws) laws forbids(le sujet est pluriel) this doctor to go against the(les voeux sont précisés donc mettre the) patient’s wishes. So this doctor is in a quandary. He can trespass the law to give a chance at this man to live (structure: give this man a job // give a job to this man), because he thinks that dying isn’t the best choice for him. But if he does that, he will lose his job because he did his job, so the other way(me parait mal convenir, l'autre solution) is to let him dying( structure: let me speak) and regreting( le premier élément de ce balancement était to let him..)it for several days, months or years(remplissage)
To my mind, we have two choices in
Fortunately, some people are strong enough to take the first choice. These people, who are gathered in associations like « Doctors without borders » are struggling against
To conclude, I think that,(construction plus claire) to concretise an idealism, you have to be at 100%(je ne sais pas si cela se dit) every days (souvent en un seul mot). It’s not just a hobby, it’s a way of life.
Réponse: Idealism/professional career /correction de samdogg-13, postée le 24-01-2010 à 10:23:17 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ton aide gerondif, ta correction me sera très précieuse et j'avoue qu'en la lisant, tu m'as rappelé quelques bases que j'avais mis à la trappe. Merci encore pour tout ;) !
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