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A boy's journey
Message de elise01 posté le 20-01-2010 à 16:11:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour voici l'introduction d'un document (A boy's journey de Seymour Rechtzeit), pourriez-vous svp m'aider dans la correction de cette intro afin que je puisse la présenter à l'oral:
This document is an extract from a novel which was written by Seymour Reichzeit who was born in 1912 in Poland. It is entitled “A boy’s journey”. It’s an autobiography because the main character wears the same nouns of the author. Seymour and his father come to America, they are the both Polish and if they come to America it’s for Seymour. His family who is Jewish think it’s better for him to go to America to have more opportunities. When he was in Poland, Seymour sang and gave concerts all over the country and he was called wunderkind which means wonder child whereas he was just 4years ago. Moreover they may have left Poland because it may was the time which the First World War began in Europe, we are in the start of the century and Jewish wasn’t in secure inside Europe.
The scene take place on the boat which is called The Lapland, it’s by this boat that they will arrive in America across the Atlantic Ocean. The end of the travel is in Ellis Island. It’s an Island which it symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants, freedom and American dream which is the possibility to start a new life to live in a free country and to climb the social ladder. It’s close to Liberty Island who the Statue of liberty is localized, in the bay of New York. During the crossing, Seymour and his father was ill-at-ease, it was uncomfortable and difficult to bear. When they arrive in Ellis Island it was not finish, they must were examined to see if they were sick or feeble-minded in that case, they were sent back. If they were healthy like Seymour’s father they could take a ferry to New-York. Seymour hadn’t luck this day because he caught a cold during the crossing so he must stay few days in Ellis Island before to meet up his father and discover a new country who he may touch the American dream and become a famous singer.
Merci beaucoup
Elise
Message de elise01 posté le 20-01-2010 à 16:11:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour voici l'introduction d'un document (A boy's journey de Seymour Rechtzeit), pourriez-vous svp m'aider dans la correction de cette intro afin que je puisse la présenter à l'oral:
This document is an extract from a novel which was written by Seymour Reichzeit who was born in 1912 in Poland. It is entitled “A boy’s journey”. It’s an autobiography because the main character wears the same nouns of the author. Seymour and his father come to America, they are the both Polish and if they come to America it’s for Seymour. His family who is Jewish think it’s better for him to go to America to have more opportunities. When he was in Poland, Seymour sang and gave concerts all over the country and he was called wunderkind which means wonder child whereas he was just 4years ago. Moreover they may have left Poland because it may was the time which the First World War began in Europe, we are in the start of the century and Jewish wasn’t in secure inside Europe.
The scene take place on the boat which is called The Lapland, it’s by this boat that they will arrive in America across the Atlantic Ocean. The end of the travel is in Ellis Island. It’s an Island which it symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants, freedom and American dream which is the possibility to start a new life to live in a free country and to climb the social ladder. It’s close to Liberty Island who the Statue of liberty is localized, in the bay of New York. During the crossing, Seymour and his father was ill-at-ease, it was uncomfortable and difficult to bear. When they arrive in Ellis Island it was not finish, they must were examined to see if they were sick or feeble-minded in that case, they were sent back. If they were healthy like Seymour’s father they could take a ferry to New-York. Seymour hadn’t luck this day because he caught a cold during the crossing so he must stay few days in Ellis Island before to meet up his father and discover a new country who he may touch the American dream and become a famous singer.
Merci beaucoup
Elise Réponse: A boy's journey de gerondif, postée le 20-01-2010 à 18:10:12 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
je vous indique les erreurs, sans plus ..(quelques cadeaux en vert)
This document is an extract from a novel which was written by Seymour Reichzeit who was born in 1912 in Poland. It is entitled “A boy’s journey”. It’s an autobiography because the main character wears(porter des vêtements.double cliquez sur "porter " et vous aurez le bon verbe) the same nouns of(comp égalité) the author. Seymour and his father come to America, they are
The scene takes place on the boat which is called The Lapland, it’s by this boat that they will arrive in America across the Atlantic Ocean. The end of the travel is in Ellis Island. It’s an Island which it(which est sujet du verbe, it est en trop) symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants, freedom and the American dream which is the possibility to start a new life, to live in a free country and to climb the social ladder. It’s close to Liberty Island who(où) the Statue of liberty is localized,(located?) in the bay of New York. During the crossing, Seymour and his father was(pluriel) ill-at-ease, it was uncomfortable and difficult to bear. When they arrive in Ellis Island it was not finish(participe passé), they must were (prétérit de must)examined to see if they were sick or feeble-minded . in that case, they were sent back. If they were healthy like Seymour’s father they could take a ferry to New-York. Seymour hadn’t luck (I am hungry, I am thirsty, I am lucky)this( ce jour est loin, je metrais that) day because he caught a cold during the crossing so he must (prétérit de must)stay for a few days in Ellis Island before (+ ing)to meet up his father and discover a new country who(who = qui. vous voulez dire "où") he may touch the American dream and become a famous singer.
Hormis celà, c'est un bon texte
Réponse: A boy's journey de elise01, postée le 20-01-2010 à 18:26:38 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide, voici ma correction, pourriez-vs svp m'aider à corriger les éventuelles fautes restantes afin que je puisse apprendre ce texte:
This document is an extract from a novel which was written by Seymour Reichzeit who was born in 1912 in Poland. It is entitled “A boy’s journey”. It’s an autobiography because the main character cbears the same nouns that the author. Seymour and his father come to America, they are the both Polish and if they come to America it’s for Seymour. His family who is Jewish think it’s better for him to go to America to have more opportunities. When he was in Poland, Seymour sang and gave concerts all over the country and he was called wunderkind which means wonder child whereas although he was just 4years. Moreover they may have left Poland because it was the time when the First World War began in Europe, we are in the start of the century and Jewish people didn't feel in safe inside Europe.
The scene takes place on the boat which is called The Lapland, it’s by this boat that they will arrive in America across the Atlantic Ocean. The end of the travel is in Ellis Island. It’s an Island which symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants, freedom and the American dream which is the possibility to start a new life, to live in a free country and to climb the social ladder. It’s close to Liberty Island who the Statue of liberty is located in the bay of New York. During the crossing, Seymour and his father were ill-at-ease, it was uncomfortable and difficult to bear. When they arrive in Ellis Island it was not finished, they had to examine to see if they were sick or feeble-minded . in that case, they were sent back. If they were healthy like Seymour’s father they could take a ferry to New-York. Seymour hadn’t lucky that day because he caught a cold during the crossing so he had to stay for a few days in Ellis Island before to meeting up his father and discover a new country who where he may touch the American dream and become a famous singer.
Merci, Elise ;)
Réponse: A boy's journey de gerondif, postée le 20-01-2010 à 18:32:37 (S | E)
This document is an extract from a novel which was written by Seymour Reichzeit who was born in 1912 in Poland. It is entitled “A boy’s journey”. It’s an autobiography because the main character (has) bears the same nouns(name) that the author. Seymour and his father come to America, they are the both Polish and if they come to America it’s for Seymour. His family who is Jewish think it’s better for him to go to America to have more opportunities. When he was in Poland, Seymour sang and gave concerts all over the country and he was called wunderkind which means wonder child
The scene takes place on the boat which is called The Lapland, it’s by this boat that they will arrive in America across the Atlantic Ocean. The end of the travel is in Ellis Island. It’s an Island which symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants, freedom and the American dream which is the possibility to start a new life, to live in a free country and to climb the social ladder. It’s close to Liberty Island who the Statue of liberty is located in the bay of New York. During the crossing, Seymour and his father were ill-at-ease, it was uncomfortable and difficult to bear. When they arrive in Ellis Island it was not finished, they had to be examined to see if they were sick or feeble-minded . in that case, they were sent back. If they were healthy like Seymour’s father they could take a ferry to New-York. Seymour hadn’t lucky that day because he had caught a cold during the crossing so he had to stay for a few days in Ellis Island before
Réponse: A boy's journey de saron_d, postée le 20-01-2010 à 18:57:04 (S | E)
I think gerondif has given you some excellent corrections, but a few slipped through the net:
... The end of the travel is in Ellis Island. ...
- double click 'voyage' for other translations of that word.
- prepositions with islands are a little tricky - you could omit the preposition totally here, to avoid the problem! If you don't want to do that, you could use "on" (the normal preposition used with islands) or "at" would also work.
...It’s an Island which symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants...
- I'm not 100% sure what you mean here - do you mean that it's "welcoming" in the sense that it's evokes positive emotions, or just that it's the first thing they saw on getting close?
...It’s close to Liberty Island who the Statue of liberty is located in the bay of New York [=New York bay?]...
- "who" is for people...
...When they arrive in Ellis Island it was not finished...
- as above.
...crossing so he had to stay for a few days in Ellis Island before meeting up (pourquoi up )his father...
- It's either "to meet his father" or "to meet up with his father", but not a combination of the two.
Hope that's of some help.
Daniel
Réponse: A boy's journey de elise01, postée le 21-01-2010 à 06:43:48 (S | E)
This document is an extract from a novel which was written by Seymour Reichzeit who was born in 1912 in Poland. It is entitled “A boy’s journey”. It’s an autobiography because the main character has bears the same name than the author. Seymour and his father come to America, they are both Polish and if they come to America it’s for Seymour. His family who is Jewish think it’s better for him to go to America to have more opportunities. When he was in Poland, Seymour sang and gave concerts all over the country and he was called wunderkind which means wonder child although he was just 4 years (....). Moreover they had left Poland because it was the time when the First World War began in Europe, we are at the start of the century and Jewish people didn't feel safe inside Europe.
The scene takes place on the boat which is called The Lapland, it’s in this boat that they will arrive in America across the Atlantic Ocean. The end of the journey is on Ellis Island. It’s an Island which symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants, freedom and the American dream which is the possibility to start a new life, to live in a free country and to climb the social ladder. It’s close to Liberty Island which the Statue of liberty is located in New York bay. During the crossing, Seymour and his father were ill-at-ease, it was uncomfortable and difficult to bear. When they arrived as above Ellis Island it was not finished, they had to be examined to see if they were sick or feeble-minded, in that case, they were sent back. If they were healthy like Seymour’s father they could take a ferry to New-York. Seymour didn’t have lucky that day because he had caught a cold during the crossing so he had to stay for a few days in Ellis Island before meeting his father and discovering a new country where he may reach the American dream and become a famous singer.
Réponse: A boy's journey de saron_d, postée le 21-01-2010 à 14:59:51 (S | E)
This document is an extract from a novel which was written by Seymour Reichzeit who was born in 1912 in Poland. It is entitled “A boy’s journey”. It’s an autobiography because the main character has bears the same name than the author. Seymour and his father come to America, they are both Polish and if they come to America it's for Seymour. His family who is Jewish think it’s better for him to go to America to have more opportunities. When he was in Poland, Seymour sang and gave concerts all over the country and he was called wunderkind which means wonder child although he was just 4 years (word missing!). Moreover they had left Poland because it was the time when the First World War began in Europe, we are at the start of the century and Jewish people didn't feel safe inside Europe.
The scene takes place on the boat which is called The Lapland, it’s in this boat that they will arrive in America across the Atlantic Ocean. The end of the journey is on Ellis Island. It’s an Island which symbolizes the welcome to the immigrants, freedom and the American dream which is the possibility to start a new life, to live in a free country and to climb the social ladder.
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