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Dans 15 ans / correction
Message de marii_nee posté le 12-12-2009 à 16:42:55 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Je viens de terminer ma rédaction concernant l'image que j'ai de moi dans 15 ans. J'aimerais avoir quelques indications concernant mes fautes ou avoir des recommandations par rapport à ce sujet.
Merci d'avance !
"I could use future tense, which would letting seem in my tale a certain certainty convening my future. But I will try to use conditional tense because my destiny rests only on my expectation. And it is them which define the picture which we have of us over the years.
I can foresee a perfect future, where all my dreams would come true. I believe that the best way to predict the future is to invent it.
By 15 years, I hope I will be able to get pleasure out of my youth ; travel as much as possible, discover a lot of faraway destinations, go some place I've never been before. Because I think, travelling broadens the mind. I want to depend on my dreams ….
And so, afterwards these 15 years, I picture myself married to the same person for the rest of my life.
I will try to start a family as soon as possible, and maybe have a large family with maybe adopted children.... I will be very close with my children and pet them !
I would like own a pretty household with with a loving atmosphere because I am convinced that it's the foundation for one's life.
I will (give/do) everything to become a devoted mother, faithful wife and respectable woman.
I swear that I will never forget my family and my friends those with I have grow up and those who taught me everything.
I want to keep my memories, because there is no future without past …;
I would like to live on rebounds and get very pleasant surprises !
What I would like too, it's getting up every morning and being able to tell myself : I'm having a job which I love, which I'm withing to have it
I don't know what this job will be yet. The only thing I want to, it's that I will be able to further my career as I want to earn my living. Of course I have some ideas, l would like to be freelance and work in international commerce, I don't want that it will be workaday.
From now, I'm trying to make a good job of my school life and to live a good Honourable life. Then when I get older and think back I'll be probably able to enjoy it second time.
Nobody can say what future will be made ; they only see the better past than it was, they find the worse present than it is and they hope for happier future than it will be. Time will tell... "
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Modifié par bridg le 12-12-2009 16:44
Titre
Message de marii_nee posté le 12-12-2009 à 16:42:55 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Je viens de terminer ma rédaction concernant l'image que j'ai de moi dans 15 ans. J'aimerais avoir quelques indications concernant mes fautes ou avoir des recommandations par rapport à ce sujet.
Merci d'avance !
"I could use future tense, which would letting seem in my tale a certain certainty convening my future. But I will try to use conditional tense because my destiny rests only on my expectation. And it is them which define the picture which we have of us over the years.
I can foresee a perfect future, where all my dreams would come true. I believe that the best way to predict the future is to invent it.
By 15 years, I hope I will be able to get pleasure out of my youth ; travel as much as possible, discover a lot of faraway destinations, go some place I've never been before. Because I think, travelling broadens the mind. I want to depend on my dreams ….
And so, afterwards these 15 years, I picture myself married to the same person for the rest of my life.
I will try to start a family as soon as possible, and maybe have a large family with maybe adopted children.... I will be very close with my children and pet them !
I would like own a pretty household with with a loving atmosphere because I am convinced that it's the foundation for one's life.
I will (give/do) everything to become a devoted mother, faithful wife and respectable woman.
I swear that I will never forget my family and my friends those with I have grow up and those who taught me everything.
I want to keep my memories, because there is no future without past …;
I would like to live on rebounds and get very pleasant surprises !
What I would like too, it's getting up every morning and being able to tell myself : I'm having a job which I love, which I'm withing to have it
I don't know what this job will be yet. The only thing I want to, it's that I will be able to further my career as I want to earn my living. Of course I have some ideas, l would like to be freelance and work in international commerce, I don't want that it will be workaday.
From now, I'm trying to make a good job of my school life and to live a good Honourable life. Then when I get older and think back I'll be probably able to enjoy it second time.
Nobody can say what future will be made ; they only see the better past than it was, they find the worse present than it is and they hope for happier future than it will be. Time will tell... "
------------------
Modifié par bridg le 12-12-2009 16:44
Titre
Réponse: Dans 15 ans / correction de seb06000, postée le 12-12-2009 à 17:10:32 (S | E)
bonjour,
je vous indique les pistes de correction:
"I could use future tense, which would letting (construction) seem in my tale a certain certainty (sens?) convening(voc) my future. But I will try to use conditional tense because my destiny rests only on my expectation( il faut un pluriel alors, si on lit la suite) . And it is them which define the picture which we have of us over the years.
I can foresee a perfect future, where all my dreams would come true. I believe that the best way to predict the future is to invent it.
By 15 years( préposition), I hope I will be able to get pleasure out of my youth ; travel as much as possible, discover a lot of faraway destinations, go some place I've never been before. Because I think, travelling broadens the mind. I want to depend on my dreams ….
And so, afterwards these 15 years, I picture myself married to the same person for the rest of my life.
I will try to start a family as soon as possible, and maybe have a large family with maybe adopted children.... I will be very close with( préposition) my children and pet them( pourquoi 'them') !
I would like own( construction de 'to like' => préposition) a pretty household with with a loving atmosphere because I am convinced that it's the foundation for one's life.
I will (give/do) everything to become a devoted mother, faithful wife and respectable woman.
I swear that I will never forget my family and my friends those with (whom) I have grow (have + participe passé) up and those who taught me everything.
I want to keep my memories, because there is no future without past …;
I would like to live on rebounds and get very pleasant surprises !
What I would like too, it's getting up every morning and being able to tell myself : I'm having a job which I love, which I'm withing (sens?) to have it
I don't know what this job will be yet. The only thing I want to, it's that I will be able to further(further n'est pas un verbe) my career as I want to earn my living. Of course I have some ideas, l would like to be freelance and work in international commerce, I don't want that it will be workaday (sens?) .
From now, I'm trying to make a good job of my school life and to live a good Honourable life. Then when I get older and think back I'll be probably able to enjoy it second time( article manquant) .
Nobody can say what future will be made (préposition manquante) ; they only see the better( position de better dans la phrase) past than it was, they find the worse present than it is and they hope for happier future than it will be. Time will tell... "
Voilà!
Courage!
sebastien
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