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Cover letter

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Cover letter
Message de aabg posté le 09-12-2009 à 22:53:28 (S | E | F)

Hey everyone, this is my first post here and I need some help for my cover letter (I plan to go to the UK as an assistant of French). Could anyone please tell me what's wrong and what sounds awkward? Thanks in advance.


Currently
finishing my degree in English at the university of Lille III Charles-de-Gaulle,I wish to submit my application for the position of assistant in the United Kingdom within your organisation.


Hard-working, dynamic, altruistic and open-minded, I would gleefully welcome the opportunity to put my abilities at your service. Having a passion for the French language which started with my first readings (Emile Zola and Victor Hugo are particularly dear to me), I am very keen to share my knowledge on that language, its mechanism and numerous difficulties that make it so singular; I would also be committed to passing down the French culture, or should I say cultures for, having travelled in a lot of French regions, I am a genuine witness to the diversity of the mores and customs as well as the populations that forge our identity.


Besides, my FLE option (Français Langue Etrangère) corroborating my viewpoint on the subject, I am convinced that a teaching merely based on the content is fated to fail. The substance has to be made attractive for the pupil through innovative, interesting and diverse classes where the form has a paramount role. That is why my knowledge in new technologies and my creativity would be helping me much in creating classes through the use of varied and original teaching aids; I have elaborated several times English classes for children from eight to ten, through audio and PowerPoint documents.


I enjoy sharing, exchanging, discovering and I am very tolerant. Convinced that this experience would found me as a teacher as well as an adult, I extremely look to this opportunity. Living in the United Kingdom would be, for me, the occasion to broaden my culture and to better understand the British way of life, which seems vital for my professional future. I, indeed, plan to become a language teacher in Britain. In addition to that, social work highly interests me: I am willing to participate in the fight against the curse of illiteracy and teach those who are in the need; thanks to my literary Baccalauréat, my capacity to speak French and English fluently, my C1 level in German (CEFR classification) and some knowledge in Spanish, as well as an initiation to Dutch, I feel capable of imparting all my knowledge to anyone who would need it. Furthermore, being completely immersed in a foreign country would offer me the possibility for growing up, freeing myself from my state of adolescence and would pave the way for my future.


The passion I have for the English language has been existing for more than ten years and keeps growing. British culture gets me fascinated: its History, its society, traditions and music are for me real centres of interest. Moreover, I have a big liking for architecture and urbanism, hence my choice for the city of London. Being a staunch city dweller and worshipper of skyscrapers, what else could be better than the capital and its 1,300 buildings? Although I do realise how difficult living in a city of eight million inhabitants must be, I do not doubt that I would be thoroughly delighted and fulfilled as an assistant of French there, always devoted to the wonderful task of helping the Others.


Thanking you in advance for taking the time to consider my application, I look forward to hearingfrom you. Feel free to contact me if there is any further information you require.
Yours faithfully,



-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 09-12-2009 23:25
mise en page


Réponse: Cover letter de gerondif, postée le 11-12-2009 à 00:03:57 (S | E)
bonsoir,
personnellement, je mettrais moins de participes présents en début de phrase et je ferais des phrases plus courtes. Certains passages font "français traduit"
As I have just finished...., I wish to .....
Currently
finishing my degree in English at the university of Lille III Charles-de-Gaulle,I wish to submit my application for the position of assistant in the United Kingdom within your organisation.



Hard-working, dynamic, altruistic and open-minded, I would gleefully (gladly serait plus courant) welcome the opportunity to put my abilities at your service. (I have)a passion for the French language which started with my first readings (Emile Zola and Victor Hugo are particularly dear to me),(so) I am very keen to share my knowledge on that language, its mechanism and numerous difficulties that make it so singular; I would also be committed to passing down the French culture, or should I say cultures for, having travelled in a lot of French regions, I am a genuine witness to the diversity of the mores and customs as well as the populations that forge our identity.



Besides, my FLE option (Français Langue Etrangère) corroborating my viewpoint on the subject, I am convinced that a teaching merely based on the content is fated(bound) to fail. The substance has to be made attractive for the pupil through innovative, interesting and diverse classes where the form has a paramount role. That is why my knowledge in new technologies and my creativity would be helping me much in creating classes through the use of varied and original teaching aids; I have elaborated English classes for children from eight to ten several times , through audio and PowerPoint documents.



I enjoy sharing, exchanging, discovering and I am very tolerant. Convinced that this experience would found(strenghten) me as a teacher as well as an adult, I (really)extremely look (forward)to this opportunity. Living in the United Kingdom would be, for me, the occasion to broaden my culture and to better understand the British way of life, which seems vital for my professional future. I, indeed (actually), plan to become a language teacher in Britain. In addition to that, social work highly interests me: I am willing to participate in the fight against the curse of illiteracy and teach those who are in need; thanks to my literary Baccalauréat, my capacity to speak French and English fluently, my C1 level in German (CEFR classification) and some knowledge in Spanish, as well as an initiation to Dutch, I feel (I can impart)capable of imparting all my knowledge to anyone who would need it. Furthermore, being completely immersed in a foreign country would offer me the possibility to grow up, freeing myself from my state of adolescence and would pave the way for my future.

The passion I have for the English language has been existing for more than ten years (lourd! français traduit ! I have had a passion for ...)and keeps growing. British culture gets me fascinated: its History, its society, traditions and music are for me real centres of interest. Moreover, I have a big liking for architecture and urbanism, hence my choice for the city of London. Being a staunch city dweller and worshipper of skyscrapers, what else could be better than the capital and its 1,300 buildings? Although I do realise how difficult living in a city of eight million inhabitants must be, I do not doubt that I would be thoroughly delighted and fulfilled as an assistant of French (a French assistant) there, always devoted to the wonderful task of helping the Others.



Thanking you in advance for taking the time to consider my application, I look forward to hearing from you. Feel free to contact me if there is any further information you require.
Yours faithfully,

Bonne chance !




Réponse: Cover letter de aabg, postée le 11-12-2009 à 01:10:03 (S | E)
Un très grand merci pour votre aide!!



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