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N Rockwell c0rrection
Message de elise01 posté le 24-11-2009 à 11:46:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pourriez-vs m'aider à corriger ces quelques phrases, il s'agit de la description de la petite fille de l'oeuvre de N. Rockwell "The problem we all live with" ainsi que des problèmes qu'elle a du endurer...
The little girl called Ruby Bridges. She is 6 years old and she lives in New Orleans. She’s going to school although she’s black because the Civil Right Act was voted. But in New Orleans, they didn’t implement it so she isn’t in security when she goes to school. That’s why she is escorting by four gun-toting US federal Marshalls to go to school. Her teacher called Barbara Henry and Ruby is going to the William Frantz public school.
She is lonely at school and worse than the physical threats, the loneliness is very difficult to bear. Other pupils don’t want to play with her because she is black. They sing nasty song with these words “Two, four, six, eight! We don’t want to integrate.” and they stick derogatory placards. Their aim was to terrify her, for example her schools friends have give her a little coffin with inside a black doll. Her teacher teaches for her, she doesn’t refuse her although Barbara is white, she has a good spirit. Day after day, white people didn’t go to school; it’s a way for their parents to protect them against the Civil Right Act.
Merci, Elise
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Modifié par elise01 le 24-11-2009 13:48
Message de elise01 posté le 24-11-2009 à 11:46:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, pourriez-vs m'aider à corriger ces quelques phrases, il s'agit de la description de la petite fille de l'oeuvre de N. Rockwell "The problem we all live with" ainsi que des problèmes qu'elle a du endurer...
The little girl called Ruby Bridges. She is 6 years old and she lives in New Orleans. She’s going to school although she’s black because the Civil Right Act was voted. But in New Orleans, they didn’t implement it so she isn’t in security when she goes to school. That’s why she is escorting by four gun-toting US federal Marshalls to go to school. Her teacher called Barbara Henry and Ruby is going to the William Frantz public school.
She is lonely at school and worse than the physical threats, the loneliness is very difficult to bear. Other pupils don’t want to play with her because she is black. They sing nasty song with these words “Two, four, six, eight! We don’t want to integrate.” and they stick derogatory placards. Their aim was to terrify her, for example her schools friends have give her a little coffin with inside a black doll. Her teacher teaches for her, she doesn’t refuse her although Barbara is white, she has a good spirit. Day after day, white people didn’t go to school; it’s a way for their parents to protect them against the Civil Right Act.
Merci, Elise
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Modifié par elise01 le 24-11-2009 13:48
Réponse: N Rockwell c0rrection de elise01, postée le 25-11-2009 à 17:50:30 (S | E)
? Y'a t-il trop de fautes ou pas du tout?
J'ai besoin de préparer ce texte à l'oral donc est-ce que vous pourriez svp m'aider à le corriger? =]
Merci beaucoup Elise
Réponse: N Rockwell c0rrection de seb06000, postée le 25-11-2009 à 18:18:17 (S | E)
bonsoir,
je vous indique ce qu'il faut corriger!
-she isn’t in security (calque du français, il faut un adjectif)
-she is escorting (l'ing ne marche pas, il faut un participe passé => escortée)
. -Day after day, white people didn’t go ( le temps ne marche pas)
Voilà!
Bon courage
sébastien
Réponse: N Rockwell c0rrection de elise01, postée le 29-11-2009 à 19:06:04 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide =)
Elise!
Réponse: N Rockwell c0rrection de brettdallen, postée le 29-11-2009 à 20:45:23 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
J'apporte quelques commentaires.
The little girl(manque quelque chose! "be", à conjuguer) called Ruby Bridges. She is 6 years old and she lives in New Orleans. She’s going to school although she’s black because the Civil Right Act was voted(les segments de phrase sont à reconstruire! "Bien qu'elle soit noire, elle va à l'école car le C. R. A.vient d'être voté")(précisez quel type d'école!). But in New Orleans, they didn’t implement(ou au passif "il n'a pas été appliqué") it so she isn’t in security when she goes to school. That’s why she is escorting(participe passé) by four gun-toting US federal Marshalls to go to school. Her teacher("be", à conjuguer)called Barbara Henry and Ruby is going to the William Frantz public school(cette phrase introduit des informations qui tombent un peu là par hasard, non? quel lien avec ce qui précède et suit?).
She is lonely at school and(c'est plus dur à supporter que les menaces physiques) worse than the physical threats,
L'ensemble était convenable.
Bon travail!
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