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Accident / correction.
Message de nihao posté le 02-11-2009 à 14:00:11 (S | E | F)
BONJOUR A TOUS
J AI ECRIT CE TEXTE ET J AIMERAIS ,DANS LA MESURE DU POSSIBLE, QUE L'ON M'AIDE A CORRIGER MES ERREURS.
JE VOUS REMERCIE
Bonjour à tous.
J'ai écrit ce texte et j'aimerais, dans la mesure du possible, qu'on m'aide à corriger mes erreurs.
Je vous remercie.
May 31st, 2007, at around midday, while I went out of the high school with my friends, always also delights to be able to take this break,my phone began vibrating and on the phone,my mother in panic taught (to) me that my father had had a car accident, but did not know more about it . The smile disappeared immediately from my lips. And without making the effort to explain although belongs to my friends, I took my bag and ran(roamed) up to the car of my mother who had just arrived in front of the school. We went(surrendered) on the place of the accident.
There were fire trucks, those of the policemen, persons who cut cars and there... my father.My eyes congealed on him. I cried. I did not any more manage to get loose from him, of his car which looked like more an accordion than the other thing(matter). It's as if this scene wanted to remain engraved in my memory …
Then my father was transported in one of the trucks fire brigades and conduit has the to hospital, we have followed him.Some persons transported him in(to) a room, we have followed him too. The wait of a doctor, some questions,some examinations, of return in the room and there my father hoping to go out this evening …
We stayed even some minutes, then my mother decided to return us at home. The phone house stop not ringing:family, friends and colleagues. There were tears, but also reassurance: my father was alive! My mother wanted to return with him,that what she made. They had the results very late in the evening. Once of return to us, she explained to us the traumatism that our father had sudden.
We going ,every evening, to see him, to bring him our support!
At the end of week, he was under surveillance &this one lasted longer that planned.
Our life fell over since the day of the accident. A radical change. The first months following the accident were very difficult. We have of to rent a medical care bed, but for lack of place, my father had to sleep in the dining room 7 months. That made me sick.Before the accident, we were an active family.
We took charge of our horses,we went to the restaurant, to the bowling, to the cinema, to the beach … We visited our family &we went on holiday(s)...
Since the accident, all that's made to us almost impossible!It's so hard.
For me, it's as if the time had stopped since this day!
Sometimes, I wonder what would look like our family flife if this accident hadn't taken place.But we can nothing there..we can not return behind.Our family was always binded.Moreover I think that it's what advances us,because without this support, I believe(that) we could have been able to support anything.This situation is unfair!There are so things to say at the end of 2 years ,that I can't explain everything!
In the current day,I'm in some sorts "been used to my daily way of life"..but we can't forget wht it happened.
We also say that all which doesn't kill us ,make us stronger! I think that after that, my life has totally changed...Nowadays,I realise the importance of things : before I complained when I had pain (somewhere), or when I had a bad note at school !!! But I become aware of all this is derisory compared with the accident and with what followed itself.
Today, I'm more in an optic to live from day to day.
As would say HORACE : Carpe Diem !
what means taking advantage of the present moment & benefiting from it, without worrying either of day or an hour of it death !
Merci beaucoup.
Cordialement.
MERCI BEAUCOUP
CORDIALEMENT
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 03-11-2009 12:03
Merci de ne pas crier en majuscules sur ce site.
Message de nihao posté le 02-11-2009 à 14:00:11 (S | E | F)
J AI ECRIT CE TEXTE ET J AIMERAIS ,DANS LA MESURE DU POSSIBLE, QUE L'ON M'AIDE A CORRIGER MES ERREURS.
JE VOUS REMERCIE
Bonjour à tous.
J'ai écrit ce texte et j'aimerais, dans la mesure du possible, qu'on m'aide à corriger mes erreurs.
Je vous remercie.
May 31st, 2007, at around midday, while I went out of the high school with my friends, always also delights to be able to take this break,my phone began vibrating and on the phone,my mother in panic taught (to) me that my father had had a car accident, but did not know more about it . The smile disappeared immediately from my lips. And without making the effort to explain although belongs to my friends, I took my bag and ran(roamed) up to the car of my mother who had just arrived in front of the school. We went(surrendered) on the place of the accident.
There were fire trucks, those of the policemen, persons who cut cars and there... my father.My eyes congealed on him. I cried. I did not any more manage to get loose from him, of his car which looked like more an accordion than the other thing(matter). It's as if this scene wanted to remain engraved in my memory …
Then my father was transported in one of the trucks fire brigades and conduit has the to hospital, we have followed him.Some persons transported him in(to) a room, we have followed him too. The wait of a doctor, some questions,some examinations, of return in the room and there my father hoping to go out this evening …
We stayed even some minutes, then my mother decided to return us at home. The phone house stop not ringing:family, friends and colleagues. There were tears, but also reassurance: my father was alive! My mother wanted to return with him,that what she made. They had the results very late in the evening. Once of return to us, she explained to us the traumatism that our father had sudden.
We going ,every evening, to see him, to bring him our support!
At the end of week, he was under surveillance &this one lasted longer that planned.
Our life fell over since the day of the accident. A radical change. The first months following the accident were very difficult. We have of to rent a medical care bed, but for lack of place, my father had to sleep in the dining room 7 months. That made me sick.Before the accident, we were an active family.
We took charge of our horses,we went to the restaurant, to the bowling, to the cinema, to the beach … We visited our family &we went on holiday(s)...
Since the accident, all that's made to us almost impossible!It's so hard.
For me, it's as if the time had stopped since this day!
Sometimes, I wonder what would look like our family flife if this accident hadn't taken place.But we can nothing there..we can not return behind.Our family was always binded.Moreover I think that it's what advances us,because without this support, I believe(that) we could have been able to support anything.This situation is unfair!There are so things to say at the end of 2 years ,that I can't explain everything!
In the current day,I'm in some sorts "been used to my daily way of life"..but we can't forget wht it happened.
We also say that all which doesn't kill us ,make us stronger! I think that after that, my life has totally changed...Nowadays,I realise the importance of things : before I complained when I had pain (somewhere), or when I had a bad note at school !!! But I become aware of all this is derisory compared with the accident and with what followed itself.
Today, I'm more in an optic to live from day to day.
As would say HORACE : Carpe Diem !
what means taking advantage of the present moment & benefiting from it, without worrying either of day or an hour of it death !
Merci beaucoup.
Cordialement.
CORDIALEMENT
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 03-11-2009 12:03
Merci de ne pas crier en majuscules sur ce site.
Réponse: Accident / correction. de prescott, postée le 02-11-2009 à 14:14:34 (S | E)
Hello,
Il faut choisir entre "at midday" et "around midday".
Ou alors "at about midday"
"while I went out of the high school"
plutôt:
"just when I was getting out of "
"always also delights to be able to take this break" -> delighted
-> the time when I always savour the break, etc.
[cf. to relish, to savour freedom]
Réponse: Accident / correction. de nihao, postée le 02-11-2009 à 14:26:30 (S | E)
Bonjour !!
Prescott =) c'est gentil de m'aider
ok pour midday =)
Réponse: Accident / correction. de nihao, postée le 03-11-2009 à 11:58:11 (S | E)
D'autres avis sur mon texte ?
merci d'avance
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