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Correction oral concours
Message de liobar posté le 13-06-2009 à 00:20:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis élève en classe préparatoire (maths) et j'ai un oral en Anglais dans moins d'une semaine. Malheureusement, par manque de temps je n'ai pas pu coller avec avoir un entretienun professeur d'anglais pour qu'elle puisse me dire ce qu'il en était de mon texte de présentation (qui dure 5 min plus ou moins).
Je voudrais donc vous demander ce qui ne va pas (expression, vocabulaire, grammaire etc...).
Merci d'avance.
J'ai mis des croix pour garder un minimum d'annonymat ;) :
"My name is Xxxxx Xxxxx. I was born the X th of december ninteen nintee in Xxxxxxxxx nearly of Paris. I have gone away from there because there where to much violence and the school level was quite low. Moreover, I had the chance that my parent who are nurses could gone I an other hospital contrary to many poeple.
Thus I've grown near Angouleme, in Charente where a comics festival nammed "Festival de la Bd" happens every years.
Last years I've choosen to go in "Classe Préparatoire" in ****** since it was for me a real occasion to have good studies. I have decided to come in "Mines ******" owing to it is a quality school and it is a famous group school. Futhermore, I know that find job after school like **** is quite easy.
In the futur, I hope to become an engineer in the energy field in this school.
About my personnal life, I began to play the piano ten years ago however I have played less this year to advantage my school work. In this way I listen to music frenquently.
What's more, I have some reading. Although I read some novels I prefer to read books about the society and our economic organisation.
I stopped the Judo three years ago therefore I had practicised it for eight years because of medical reasons, besides the teacher was not funny at all. I remember that he used to tell us after each fall "You're not wounded, you're a warrior, stand up and retry to attack him now".
After my studie, I would like to travell to discover where I live. For example I think that I will visit South America, the Russia and the United States Of America. If I go there I would go in the center of this country as the Tenesse,the Texakarna and the Texas to see Nashville, Memphis and all mythic places of this country because I love the american culture even if I use to hear that American poeple have a tow centuries old history, all the same it is an heavy history."
Voilà! J'ai essayé de faire de belles formulations et d'utiliser des mots de liaison assez souvent.
Merci encore
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-06-2009 06:40
titre en minuscules
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Modifié par bridg le 13-06-2009 07:54
corrections Divers
Message de liobar posté le 13-06-2009 à 00:20:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, je suis élève en classe préparatoire (maths) et j'ai un oral en Anglais dans moins d'une semaine. Malheureusement, par manque de temps
Je voudrais donc vous demander ce qui ne va pas (expression, vocabulaire, grammaire etc...).
Merci d'avance.
J'ai mis des croix pour garder un minimum d'annonymat ;) :
"My name is Xxxxx Xxxxx. I was born the X th of december ninteen nintee in Xxxxxxxxx nearly of Paris. I have gone away from there because there where to much violence and the school level was quite low. Moreover, I had the chance that my parent who are nurses could gone I an other hospital contrary to many poeple.
Thus I've grown near Angouleme, in Charente where a comics festival nammed "Festival de la Bd" happens every years.
Last years I've choosen to go in "Classe Préparatoire" in ****** since it was for me a real occasion to have good studies. I have decided to come in "Mines ******" owing to it is a quality school and it is a famous group school. Futhermore, I know that find job after school like **** is quite easy.
In the futur, I hope to become an engineer in the energy field in this school.
About my personnal life, I began to play the piano ten years ago however I have played less this year to advantage my school work. In this way I listen to music frenquently.
What's more, I have some reading. Although I read some novels I prefer to read books about the society and our economic organisation.
I stopped the Judo three years ago therefore I had practicised it for eight years because of medical reasons, besides the teacher was not funny at all. I remember that he used to tell us after each fall "You're not wounded, you're a warrior, stand up and retry to attack him now".
After my studie, I would like to travell to discover where I live. For example I think that I will visit South America, the Russia and the United States Of America. If I go there I would go in the center of this country as the Tenesse,the Texakarna and the Texas to see Nashville, Memphis and all mythic places of this country because I love the american culture even if I use to hear that American poeple have a tow centuries old history, all the same it is an heavy history."
Voilà! J'ai essayé de faire de belles formulations et d'utiliser des mots de liaison assez souvent.
Merci encore
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-06-2009 06:40
titre en minuscules
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Modifié par bridg le 13-06-2009 07:54
corrections Divers
Réponse: Correction oral concours de ariette, postée le 13-06-2009 à 05:45:58 (S | E)
je vous signale quelques modifications à apporter et faites des phrases simples à l'oral.I was born on the X ; the nineteen ninety ; nearly ; have gone away : vocabulaire move ? ; where to ; I had the chance that : remplacer par un adverbe ; my parent ; could gone I ; named ; happens every years ; Last years ; chosen ; occasion : opportunity ? ; come in ; owing to ; I know that find job after school like **** is quite easy : it is easier to find a job… etc. future ; to advantage : dedicate myself to… ? ; personal ; In this way I listen to music frequently ; have some : enjoy ; economic organisation : economy ;
Réponse: Correction oral concours de liobar, postée le 14-06-2009 à 10:56:48 (S | E)
Voilà j'ai corrigé mes erreurs.
La fin n'est pas importante puisqu'avec elle je dépasse les 5 minutes réglementaires ;) .
Cependant j'ai deux questions, comment utiliser "owing to" dans ma phrase "owing to it is a quality school", et je ne vois vraiment pas comment utilise un adverbe dans "I had the chance that"...
"My name is Xxxxx Xxxxx. I was born on the X th of december ninteen ninty in Xxxxxxxxx nearly Paris. I have gone from there because there where to much violence and the school level was quite low. Moreover, I had the chance that my parents who are nurses could gone in an other hospital contrary to many poeple.
Thus I've grown near Angouleme, in Charente where a comics festival named "Festival de la Bd" happens every year.
Last year I've choosen to go in "Classe Préparatoire" in ****** since it was for me a real opportunity to have good studies. I have decided come in "Mines ******" owing to it is a quality school and it is a famous group school. Futhermore, it is easier to find a job after that kind of school.
In the futur, I hope to become an engineer in the energy field in this school.
About my personnal life, I began to play the piano ten years ago however I have played less this year to dedicate myself to my school work. In this way I listen to music frequently.
What's more, I enjoy reading. Although I read some novels I prefer to read books about the society and our economy.
I stopped Judo three years ago therefore I had practicised it for eight years because of medical reasons, besides the teacher was not funny at all. I remember that he used to tell us after each fall "You're not wounded, you're a warrior, stand up and keep fighting".
[After my studies, I would like to travell to discover the world. For example I think that I will visit South America, the Russia and the United States Of America. If I go there I would go in the center of this country as Tenesse, Texakarna and the Texas to see Nashville, Memphis and all mythic places of this country because I love the american culture even if I use to hear that American poeple have a tow centuries old history, all the same it is an heavy history.]"
Merci encore
